Lisa Ling learns about polyamory on her show, OWN Our America. The show features a W - five individuals in a relationship together. The show doesn't outline the specific lines around each individual to the other individuals, but it's an interesting look at a unique relationship. Can I see our relationship opening up to more people in the future? Possibly. At this point we're still sort of shell shocked that we've found one amazing person who's so well suited to have a relationship with the both of us (especially considering how different my husband and I are) that it's hard to... More »

The past four weeks have been crazy, and I've been delinquent in posting. We had family visiting from out of town and decided not to come out to them, putting a lot of stress on our trio. Not fun. But I'm back, and ready to keep posting again,and answering your questions.In my last post I promised to address a few reader questions soon - that's today!Sara asked, "Do you ever have extra-marital relationships that your husband disapproves of? Do you always choose females as your extra partners? How would your husband feel if you chose a man? Is their a... More »

Last week I asked you what you wanted from this blog. You let me know that you wanted to hear more about how things are working for us, every day. When I first began this blog I talked about swinging and casual encounters, as that's what we had the most experience in in the past. However, this year one of my friendships developed into something more with both my husband and I, and we now form a polyfidelitous triad. That means we're not open to other people, long term or casual, at the moment. I'm faithful to my husband and girlfriend,... More »

I'm struggling with what to write about these days. The problem is that I'm unsure of who my audience is. Are you reading this blog because you're poly and want to hear my thoughts on some of the highlights and challenges? Are you wondering whether the poly lifestyle, or a swinging one, is an option for you? Are you simply curious about how it all works? I'd like to hear from you. Post your questions or thoughts!... More »

A few weeks ago someone asked me if we were "out" with our kids. We aren't, yet. It's a topic we talk about frequently, as my eldest is 9 and becoming more aware of the interactions of the people around her. We're not out with our kids because we're not out with our families. And as every parent knows, you really can't tell young kids anything you wouldn't want retold to their daycare lady, their teacher, your grandparents, etc. We've talked about when would be the right time to come out to our families. When a close friend of mine... More »

"Your crazy is showing." It's phrase I use sometimes with myself when I know I'm being unreasonable about something. I'd actually like to choose a different word than crazy, but haven't settled on the right one (suggestions?). What it means to me is that we all have ideas, thoughts, desires, etc., that we know are crazy, unreasonable, untrue, etc. Those thoughts that say we're unloveable because we're ten pounds over our ideal weight. When we think our partner may not love us (despite year of evidence that they do) because of one offhand comment or perceived slight. If you've been with... More »

Did you hold your sweetheart's hand shopping on Boxing Day this year? Lay an arm behind them on the couch on Christmas Eve while you chatted with your parents? Stole a quick kiss without being terrified that someone might see you? I did, and I didn't. I could only do so with one of my two partners, and it sucked. This year, my husband and I have welcomed a third person into our relationship. She's funny and smart and beautiful, and we both care for her very much. We don't think of her as a third, as someone disposible or... More »

I started questioning monogamy as early as high school, and that was basically before the Internet. It was extremely difficult to find out anything about non-traditional relationships, and I certainly couldn't find anything online that would lead me to real life people. It wasn't until I was in university that I discovered sites like Adult Friend Finder that would lead us to people to hook up with for sex. It wasn't until Facebook that I discovered people I could hook up with strictly for conversations about sex and relationships. If you're turning the idea of swinging or poly over in... More »

My husband and I are completely honest with each other,about everything. And we're very open and honest with the partners we've had. We think it's the foundation to successful open relationships - truthfulness.And yet, I lie to some of the people in my life I love most. I lie to my mother when she asks what bar I went to on a Friday night. I'm not about to tell her it was a swinger's club. I lie to my father when I tell him my husband is at hockey, when really he's at his girlfriend's house. Mostly, it's the lie of... More »

There's been some debate recently, spurred by sex columnist Dan Savage, who identifies himself as monogamish, about polyamory being a choice. That you choose to act poly, not simply are poly. Savage had expressed his opinion that it was a choice, and was soundly thumped by members of the poly community. There are a few great letters from poly people in his column that he handed over for rebuttals. For us, we've come to the realization that we are poly, the same way I'm bisexual, and you might be straight or gay or asexual or something in between. Do you... More »