I read a blog earlier in the week (that I thought I saved because it stuck with me...but I didn't..oops). It was written by a woman and her subject line was something about the one and only thing a woman needs in her relationship to be happy.
I was intrigued! Aren't you?
She followed it up talking about acknowledgement - gestures. And I agree. Bingo. But then she lost me - because her idea of a gesture was a gift. Maybe it's just me because you know of my oddness with Christmas and opening gifts etc...so I thought the message got lost.
Then last night, I went to see J. Edgar. spoiler alert...if you don't want to hear about it or don't know the story..don't read...you've been warned. It was beautiful. I thought it was really a love story between J. Edgar and Clyde Tolson - and it was heartbreaking. My take of the movie is that it suggests they were lifelong partners but the only kiss they shared was after a fight over Hoover's dating Dorothy Lamour. It appeared that they lived a platonic love for their entire lives - totally devoted to each other but never being able to come out with it. At the end, after Tolson suffered a stroke and Hoover knew he himself was dying, only then did J. Edgar give him a sweet kiss on the head and squeeze his hand. It was a gesture, so small but so meaningful. It was all that old Clyde was looking for their entire relationship - and he waited so long.
So my point? I think that as I, and a few of my other single mom friends, am reentering the dating scene, the blog and the movie struck home. I think as partners (married or dating) we don't need a whole lot. A sweet message, a foot massage, a knowing smile, a GESTURE. It's just an acknowledgment that says 'you know what - you're amazing...and I'm lucky you're sticking around.
What do you think? Too simplistic?
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I agree with you on the gift thing....for special days or just a regular day even a "Thank you, dinner was great" or an "I love you" or "I'll wash the dishes and fold the laundry"THAT to me means more than anything....Am I asking for alot? Seems like there are days where we're all caught in saying bye to the kids and forget to hug that other person/spouse/partner and wish them "a good day"...these are things that mean far more to me.....sorry for my babbling....
Have to say one thing I miss more than anything is holding hands....now with all our kids we're always holding their hands!!
No, not too simplistic. Simple acknowledgment that says you make me happy and I hope I do the same for you is more important than any gift.
No, I think that's EXACTLY the thing - a gesture that has the intention of letting another person know that he/she is appreciated... anyone can BUY a gift for someone. It's what lies behind the GIVING that counts the most.
I want to see this movie now!!
great post and i'm going to make juice read it when he gets home :)
I used to crave a sweet voice mail with tones of affection heard in his voice but now that I am re-entering the dating world I would happily settle for a flirty text with a winky smily face.