I wanted a boy. I've told you this before. It's no secret. I always considered myself a tomboy and thought what the hell would I do if I had a girl? The day I found out Will was a boy was a happier day for me than when I found out I was pregnant. Seriously. That's when I cried tears of joy (well, I cried harder when I found out he was only a singleton). My only fear having a boy as a single woman was who was going to teach him to pee standing up. The rest - noooo problem.
Oh how wrong I was. Sure, I was a tomboy. But I was not a boy. Allow me to list for you the things that I have learned about that I had no clue before having a boy!
a. Dinosaurs. Did you know that an anklysaurus has a hard back and can take on a T-Rex with one swipe of his mighty tail? Yeah me neither. Now I do.
b. Trucks. Did you know it's a crime to call a backhoe a digger? This will be met with a look of total disgust.
c. Star Wars. Are you kidding me? I don't know who lives on the Death Star. I don't. But I can do the grave site scene in Steel Magnolias word for word. Who is cooler kid? Yeah. You.
NO. ME. "Are you HIGH Clarree??
d. Mario Brothers. Please. What? Is it a video game? I have no idea. I now know that Mario and Luigi are brothers AND somehow Donkey Kong is involved. When I told the kid I was more of a Ms. PacMan person, he looked at me like I was speaking spanish.
e. Hands in the Pants. I'm just randomly adding this because I'm trying to decide what I say more - 'get your hands out of your pants' or 'turn it down'. Honestly though. You'd think the kid was the first one to discover a penis.
And the newest? Monsters Trucks. We saw a commercial on TV the other day for the Maple Leaf Monster Jam Tour coming up at the Rogers Centre in Toronto and the kid got as excited as I would if they said it was a George Clooney marathon on W.
I'm totally brushing up on my terminology. Grave Digger. Northern Nightmare. Backdraft. Wait a minute - is Billy Baldwin driving that one? I'm in!
Anyway! If your kid is into Monster Trucks, head down to the Rogers Centre this January 19th and 20th (tickets at ticketmaster.ca). Look for Will and me. He'll be the one jumping around and yelling and I'll be the one listening to the Les Mis soundtrack on my phone. I'm officially retiring the 'tomboy' handle.