Over the past couple of weeks, there seems to be this barrage of articles about different types of families and which is better. Two parent? One parent? People!! There are STUDIES devoted to this. I kid you not. Educated researchers who could be spending their days... oh I don't know, looking for a cause of autism, a cure for cancer...are spending their days examining how well children do or do not do if they're raised by a single parent as opposed to two.
Here is the biggest problem I have with this 'debate'.
There are many kinds of single parents. There are widows, divorcees or single parents by choice. There are people who aren't single but generally parent as a single person - army wives and husbands for example.
Similarly, there are many kinds of married parents. True parenting partners, one parent taking the brunt of the duties or kids being raised by nannies.
I wish all this generalizing would end. I'm so sick of reading stuff like this. (although please click to see the picture of the 'sad single mother'..it's classic!) Articles about how my kid is screwed because he's being raised without a father. How he's likely to do shitty in school because I wasn't lucky enough to find a partner to raise him with. I actually read an article a couple weeks ago that had me questioning my decision (not that I can return him) to have Will as a single woman. Am I going to raise an incomplete man because I am a woman? I lost some sleep over it and talked about it with some friends and then I filed it in the trash part of my brain. Where it belongs.
But it's not just the single is worse angle - it's coming from both sides. Slate has been publishing articles singing the praises of being an only parent. How we'll raise kids with more grit. Or from a woman considering parenting solo and her slightly dreamy version of what it's like. Even as a single mom, I can't necessarily get on board with these articles either.
There are probably partial truths from all of these articles but to me, it just seems to be adding another category to the mommy wars.
Boob v. Formula
Co-sleep v. Crib
Stay at home v. Work out of home
Single v. Married
Jen v. Angelina
I've said it before and I'll reiterate it. Who wouldn't love the dream? Two involved, in love, strong, funny parents. Personally, I think this is the dream and far from the norm. There are so many different kinds of families, so many different kinds of parents. AND so little time. I wish that time would be spent on important issues and not debating circumstances that can't necessarily be changed.
I'm trying to be the best parent I can be because I'm all he's got. And one okay parent is better than two crappy ones.
Agree or disagree here??