There's a new show on TV called Seed!. Have you seen it yet? Here's the trailer.
Premise? Dude who donated sperm gets contacted by families who used his donations to get knocked up. Of course he's a doofus and not exactly who he described himself as in his profile. While the little bit I've seen is sort of hilarious, I'd like to thank the writers of Seeds for putting a show on television that feeds into everyone's fears about sperm donors. After five years of having the inside scoop on donors, here are the standard 'aren't you afraid that' I get from many people. 1. The Billy Madison - Aren't you afraid that he lied on his profile? Here is what I know. Will's donor claims to be an artist. He says that he's 6"4 and has size 13 feet. He said that he didn't have acne in high school. He was paid every time he went to the clinic and made a 'deposit'. He wasn't paid for every successful pregnancy he helped to orchestrate so it serves him no purpose to lie. Let me ask you this. How many of you didn't know every little thing about your partners before you got knocked up? I'm willing to guess that some of you, who went the typical route, found somethings out about your kids fathers that were hidden until after the baby appeared. Sometimes people lie. I choose to believe that most don't. 2. The Hugh Hefner - Aren't you afraid that he has 100 kids all over the country? Maybe he does. It's entirely possible. When I made the decision to use a sperm donor to have my kid, I made the decision to leave this worry behind. Because you know what? There are a hundred things that I need to worry about that I can actually have some control over. Can I pay for University? Will he be happy when he grows up? Will I live to see him have kids? Trust me, I worry, just not about a tribe of half siblings running around. 3. The Jerry Lee Lewis - Aren't you afraid that Will will date his half sibling and not know? Oh yes. I'm terrified. Because in all of the world, I'm certain that he is going to meet, be attracted to and ultimately have three-headed babies with one of the few people who happened to be fathered by the same sperm donor. I worry more that Chris Brown and Rihanna will actually have babies. Don't you? 4. The Erik and Lyle Menendez - Aren't you afraid he'll hate you for having him this way? Maybe this is the one where I do have a niggling fear. I won't lie about that. I wish he had a dad. I wish I had a partner. But I don't. He doesn't. Not everyone does. I am certain that he's loved and adored by a ton of guys and he will have the benefit of growing up with multiple male role models. Some can teach him about music, some will throw a ball with him, some will share their love of travel and curiosity about the world. Oh WAIT. I can do all those things. Okay, some guy can teach him how to pee standing up properly and about the beauty of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. Of course I'm being a bit tongue in cheek over here. I always welcome questions about the process of sperm donation (no, I still don't know how much they're paid). I do wish the media would accurately portray the situation just once though. Something like...girl doesn't meet boy - girl chooses sperm donor - girl has healthy, awesomely amazing kid - boy turns 18 - boy meets donor - donor DID lie and is actually Bradley Cooper - mom and donor fall madly in love and they all live happily ever after. Right?? I know the perfect cast.