I had just arrived to the wonderful beautiful magical perfect wedding and had been seated in the church no fewer than 3 minutes when woman seated in pew in front of us, turns around to say hello. Her spidey senses were tingling because I was chatting with her husband, seated next to me.
I hear the name- same as the groom- and say "are you the mother?"
NEVER say this even if it is possible
always say "how are you related"? (yup she was the sister- step but still)
Did you hear me?
Ok it is true I think I am 30 and that everyone else is old. But I must not let on that I feel this. In this moment all the colour left my skin and my body floated up to the ceiling of the church and tried to escape throught the back door. How could I have insulted someone in the first 3 minutes? Seriously it must be some kind of record.
Take it on good record to also never say
"when are you due?"
"No, I saw your husband tonight. He definitely is not working late"
It is truly a marvel the way my mind can work so quickly at times and so slowly at others