My oldest came home after 5 weeks away at first year University for the long weekend. I loved having her close so much.

When it was my turn to say what I was thankful for I winked at her and said "when people leave they come back" and it is like it always was only maybe even sweeter.

I miss her so much even though I am so happy for her and so proud of her.

I feel like we are this unit - maybe at one point a little bit clinging to a raft after the shipwreck. Are we closer because of what we endured? Who knows. But we are very close, the three of us. Sometimes it feels like one heartbeat.

I am handling it one day at a time and completely cheerfully by the way because let's remember she is not  working at walmart and dating a cretin whose pants don't cover his bum. It is all good. To honour the change that came too fast, I give myself treats of the company of people I like, I make new work/life  goals so that when I see her she can be as proud of me as I am of her, and I look at it as the great and new thing that it is. I am open to the goodness of this change for all of us.

I try to imagine she is in her room down the hall- a longer hall than it used to be (2.5 hours by car).  We feel each other's support and love regardless. That is the way it is with family.

Oh but I miss this wonderful girl. It is so much easier, I think, when you don't like your teenagers.