For some unknown reason I was not feeling myself Monday night. I had just been at a meeting, the day had been fine but the very end of the day was met with a not so great mood.
I could not put my finger on it but I was having a case of the BLAHS. (my mom calls anything ranging from heartbreak to heartburn, period cramps , insomnia and depression the BLAHS- I love it- it is a minimizer and an excuse to eat a chocolate bar and be nice to yourself)
I decided to see if teling people how I felt about them would make a difference to how I feel. I am not talking about screaming at someone for taking your parking spot in a snowstorm. Because we all know that feels better and then it feels much worse.
This was nothing more than lying in my bed and sending a handful of important people an email with a subject line " I love you because" and then adding whatever was at the top of my mind about them.
As I lay there firing off 20 or so of these my mood changed dramatically. I felt myself smiling, and at one point a little tingle in my eyes. I even felt a tear roll down my cheek as I thought of one particular person close to me. It felt wonderful going to bed knowing this good stuff was out there.
The next day when I received a bunch of mail back. It ranged from
"Have you been drinking on an empty stomach again?"
"What is this about?" Are you warning me about some news you are about to give me?"
"That really helped me today because I was having a tough one"
" Can I come live with you?"
And some really nice things about why they love me.
It was my Valentine experiment. It showed me that 'spending out' made me feel better. It showed me that declarations of love can be suspect!