Sorry ladies, hit the wrong button and bleep there went the post....

What defines a true friend?

Recently I was disappointed by someone that I thought was a friend. Since this is not the first time I have been betrayed by a girlfriend how do I trust again. I have quite a few girlfriends that I spend time with, have coffee, talk, etc... But what about the really good friends that you can completely trust. Am I out to lunch to even be thinking these type of friends can exist? Am I the only person that feels this way?

Any comments/stories are much appreciated.

For me the definition of a true friend is someone who isn't keeping score. It's a reciprocal relationship where you both feel supported and loved. There is no resentment or envy because you want the best for the other person. Your greatest desire is to see your friend happy and fulfilled. You don't keep track of the number of phone calls, or invitations of a true friend.

Having and making true friends is possible. You do need to put yourself out there and it is possible to get burnt in the process. I try to make connections with people who are easy going and open. When I feel judged or stressed by a friend I will cut things off. Between children, husband and work, I have no time for stress from friends.

I hope that this helps.

Well said Bella. I agree - a true friend is a give and take. I had a great friend who couldn't share any of her personal stuff with me - we are now acquaintances instead. I have three true, true friends - and we are this way because we support each other AND call each other on our BS. There is no chance of resentment etc because if we do something that the other doesn't like - we get called on it right away. They are by far the healthiest relationships I've ever had.

I totally agree. A true friendship should be effortless, almost second nature. I find when you have to work too hard or it is too much of a conscious thing it takes too much energy and is not worth it. I have friendships that I thought were real but it turned out that when the chips were down it was only a few gems that rose to the top. I now prefer to have lots of friends but only a few really close ones. These people I can depend on, be myself with, and enjoy. Anything else just is not worth it.