Many MANY of you commented in on the teaser post I had for you last week. How many of you dared to watch the whole show??
It was the ultimate train wreck and an hour of my life that I will never get back. But - I learned some things.
1. Do not bring up your plans for marriage and babies (or the fact that you're a virgin) on a first date. Save it till the third maybe. Oh wait...I knew that. How did this chick not?!
2. The TLC editors are geniuses for managing to put in every stereotype of virgins/people not getting action... there were cats, weird relationships with mothers, tears, more cats, cougars...it was ridiculous.
3. Espousing your virginity while at the same time massaging your 30 year-old roommates like you're at summer camp is awkward.
4. Having every guest at your wedding know that you're virgins and on your way to do it after the event can prove for awkward high fives...and your dad saying 'he wished he could be a fly on the wall.' Ew.
5. Getting shut down by a 35 year-old virgin actively seeking to lose his virginity is not going to shoot your stock up 'momma' - I'm just saying.
6. Chewing on your new husbands face the same way you eat a ice cream cone later...is not a good indicator that you can kiss. Didn't you practice on your Leif Garrett pillowcase for godsakes?...not that I know anyone who did that.
7. Having your mother suggest you 'get that taken care of' with respect to your virginity may be the biggest burn ever.
8. Saying you needed to think 'creatively' to consumate your marriage...on film...will forever be proof that someone should have bought you The Joy of Sex for a wedding gift.
I could go on and on...seriously...the show is a goldmine...but part of me was a bit sad for all them after the whole thing. And sad for me that I watched it.
*Best line of the night - When I have sex the lights will be off and there will be music on. Music to drown out the weird sounds and the dark to cover up facial expressions. (I guess romance is not dead)