Hair and Cake

Every day I get to comb through The Baby's hair, which looks like this when it's brushed:

... and like a matted mop of yarn when it's not. Then there's The Boy, who has hair that stands straight up, rudely disregarding the laws of gravity and so needs his hair gelled down and brushed into reasonable shape before school. The Girl is on her own with her hair, but tends to get some maternal bossing when it comes to keeping her bangs out of her face. I once read that medieval mothers - the good kind - spent at least an hour a day delousing their children's hair and I thought "OH THOSE POOR WOMEN" and now I spend at least an hour a day with a bottle of detangler in my hand, chasing some ungrateful kid down. Life is funny even when it is sad.

My husband came home last night with a clutch of lilies for me, and The Girl, seeing them in their vase, decided that we needed to have a tablecloth and candles supper with it and so we did, my husband making pasta with sun-dried tomato sauce and red peppers and then I decided to make a chocolate cake but we were out of butter. So my husband tucked the kids in and headed over to the convenience store and the chocolate cake - this one - came out of the oven at nine o'clock, at which point a little blond person peered around the stair railing, EXTREMELY eager for a piece of chocolate cake.

Whenever I'm stressed out, I bake. There's probably better ways to deal with life but I've not found them, and there's something about the predictable combination of butter and chocolate, sifting together flour and sugar, something that helps. I like to roll my sleeves up, it turns out, like to make something sweet to mark the things that happen in this life.

Note the tablecloth.

And that's how I spent last night - sitting in a rocking chair across from my daughter in a rocking chair, eating chocolate cake warm from the oven while outside in the dark, the snow was melting and crocuses were rising from the ground, ready to greet me with the morning.

Comments

[sarah]

hi there! just wanted you to know that your blog was one of the "top recommendations" for me in my google reader! congrats!!

[elizabeth]

I love your comment about the predictability of combining sugar and butter and sifting through flour. For me, baking is the most unpredictable task I could imagine. I'm also so rocking with envy over a husband who not only cooks dinner, but also runs errands at the store! Give him an extra hug tonight!

[christine]

when i experienced the same sort of loss a few years ago i came home from the hospital and made the best creme de menthe brownies ever. cooking comforts.

[edj]

I can certainly relate to spending ridiculous amounts of time detangling children's hair. What I want to know is, how nice a mother are you? Do you get impatient and yank? Or are you sweet and gentle?
And that cakes looks yummy! I, too, tend to bake when stressed, but I try not to, but instead I eat whatever is laying round the place (currently Honey Nut cheerios) so not baking doesn't do me any good and the house doesn't smell as nice.

[Beth]

I grew up eating off of those exact same blue dishes!

Cool!

I bake when I am stressed too.

[Michelle]

I couldn't think of a better way to spend your evening then the one you described...you have a very caring and thoughtful husband ... despite your recent loss, you are very blessed.

[Nowheymama]

"A clutch of lilies." Lovely.

And thank goodness for detangler. It is a miracle product. :)

[Aliki]

I've been promising myself that I'll bake your chocolate pie this weekend. My husband will be out of town and I'll need the comfort!

[Marta]

My daughter had long curly hair and I tried to untangle it everyday, a time which I affectionately referred to as "torture time". Little wonder that she soon asked to have the curls all cut off!!!
I think chocolate cake is a great stress-reliever! Heck, it's great even in the no-stress times!!! I can picture you and your daughter in your rocking chairs at night, cozy and eating the cake. Very sweet.

[Riley]

Ah, the fun of chasing down an ungrateful child with a bottle of detangler... ah... I think I'd like a piece of that cake.

[lisa b]

The baby's hair is gorgeous.
Chocolate cake makes everything better. Baking does make the world seem better. The orderliness of it is calming.

[kayak woman]

I wash *tons* of those dishes at my family's L. Superior cabin every summer (Michigan). We have just about every one that was ever made.

[Terri]

Baking is therapeutic for me, too. I'll definitely have to try that cake recipe. It looks wonderful.

[Minnesotamom]

I was right! It WAS a cake! And the same cake that Husband made me for my birthday. He wouldn't know "from scratch" if it bit him in the face, but PW's step-by-step photos helped. It was pretty funny watching him run back-and-forth, back-and-forth from the computer to the kitchen (he didn't want to waste paper and print all the photos out--ha!).

[Omaha Mama]

I just made that cake for our b-day party on Saturday - it was a big hit! Because I am allergic to pecans and I felt a little crunch would be nice, I tossed toffee bits in the frosting and then a few more on top. Yummmmmm.
I hope that you are feeling well. And that life returns to sunny soon.

[Amanda]

I have the baby's hair, hence why Mary Beth had hair she could sit on and I never did. My hair was always kept about chin length because my mother could not bear to brush it out every day. I finally grew it long when I was in nursing school and then realized the agony of having it long and the tangling that occurred.

The cake looks wonderful. I too bake when I am stressed. I think I am beginning to understand my weight problem :)

[chelle]

Chocolate cake has always worked wonders for me. Table cloths, candles and all that sounds wonderful too!

[Alison]

Oh, it did too work--at the TOP of the page. I feel silly.

[Alison]

Well, I tried to leave a comment and it didn't work. Trying again: I think there are few things more comforting than putting together ingredients to make something delicious.

[Soul Fusion]

Ha! I made that same cake on Friday night and it was delicious!! I had to bring half of it to work yesterday and leave it for the vultures to devour in the pantry (in under and hour) so I could continue to wear my pants. I reserve three small pieces for myself and ate them all last night. So today my pants are tight.
By the way, I also cope by baking. It is somehow soothing.

[Alison]

The Baby's hair looks like the same texture as Miss Pink's. I love that she has natural curl since I spent many years of my childhood in pink sponge rollers (my mom spent a lot of hours making me sit still so she could put them in, too.)

I don't think anything is more comforting than putting ingredients together to make something delicious.

[nomotherearth]

Chocolate is my go-to comfort food too. I just ate a bunch of Easter eggs because I have a terrible cold. Yeah...that helps, Nomo.

[bren j.]

Well that is some FINE hair!
There's something about the predictability of cooking that I find comforting....

[Kyla]

Bittersweetness all around.

That cake looks delish.

[LoriD]

My baby has curly hair too - but I have NEVER combed through it! She has one section that always gets a little matted, on which I spray the detangler and work at it with my fingers, but the rest just bounces into perfect little ringlets.

I bake when I'm stressed too. Hope all is well.

[janet]

I turn to baking for comfort, too. Something about eating it warm while the smell still lingers in the air is magic.

That cake looks incredible. Almost like a brownie-cake hybrid.

[susiej]

I sincerely love how you find beauty all around you. Her hair... the cake, the care of your husband, those sun-dried tomatoes. Sending you prayers.

[Jennifer]

chocolate: the ultimate comfort food.
Hope you are feeling more "comfortable" today.

[Susan]

I'm not sure which looks yummier- the Baby or the cake!

[Rosebud & Papoosie Girl]

What a lovely ending to a not so lovely day. I can see how the baking brings you peace, when things are going right and no little person is under my feet there is a certain zen quality about baking.

[Peanut Butter and Jelly Boats]

I'd LOVE a piece of that cake right now! And my, oh my, The Baby has some beautiful hair!

[Mary Beth]

Ohh that cake looks so good - I may have to try it tonight. I didn't get my hair cut (I could actually sit on it) until I was 11 so my mother would have to brush and braid it every morning when I was little. A morning ritual that I hated because it involved much pulling of the hair!

[mimi]

On the subject of both food and hair, can I just say Munchkin tried to finger comb her own similarly matted mop today RIGHT AFTER SHE DUNKED BOTH HANDS IN HER YOGURT? There's nothing I can do about that, so I just sorta manhandled it into a (matted) ponytail. Urk.

But cake: a nice end to a thoroughly not-nice day. What a nice slice of family life. Hugs.

[Julie]

Could the baby's curls BE any more adorable??? I think not.

That's a yummilicious cake you got there!

[erin]

Thank goodness for cake. And the warmth of it. What a gift!

[Lori]

There is nothing like good chocolate and beautiful flowers to warm the heart and fill you with hope. In case your crocus might not yet be open here is me sending you a Prairie Crocus - http://ronerwin.com/web/largeN/no/P13800104.jpg - a native wildflower in Western Canada that is not actually a crocus but rather a member of the buttercup family. It too is an early spring flower that appears the moment the snow recedes and the earth warms the ground. One day I hope to witness its first signs of Spring in Manitoba were it is the Provincial Flower. This one however was taken in the Rockies of Jasper after summer had already started but were mountains can have snow at any time. Enjoy!

[Mad]

We owned those plates when I was a very little kid. They're all broken now except for a couple that my sister still has. Hearts break--looking forward and looking back.

[Karla]

That looks yummy! NOM! NOM! NOM! ;)
What a thoughtful husband, and Girl, too, for thinking of the candles and tablecloth. How lovely. :)
BTW, that's a lovely profile picture of you over there! :)

[Cristan]

You definately deserved that cake!

[Becky]

That looks like what we call a Texas cake here in the south. My mama used to make it with pecans on the top, covered with that wonderfully sinful frosting.

And how right you are that chocolate cake helps just about any heartache.

[Kathryn]

What a lovely hubby you have. And what a perfect way to deal with life when it gets heavy.

[chantal]

That looks very comforting. I often hear of people who can't eat when they are sad. I am not one of them. I actually gained weight when my Dad died. There was so much comfort food around and darn it all I needed comfort.

[Tracy]

Bless you, Beck!