All Crying, All The Time

We've just finished one of those insanely busy December weekends - we celebrated Saint Nicholas Day, my oldest daughter was in three play performances, we went to see Santa at the Legion AND it was my husband's birthday yesterday, so we had company over last night, too. Oh, and we're all getting over the flu, just to keep things interesting.

I did not cook anything this weekend. Not one thing, aside from one of those flourless chocolate cakes last night. I forgot to put the sugar in it. Let's not talk about that.

We also made these angel ornaments at some point:

Saint Nicholas obligingly brought the whole family the kit and the kids were pretty gung-ho on making them and the craft session went really well with the exception of the one kid who spent the entire time crying hysterically in her room. So that was pretty festive.

I was pretty annoyed at the crying kid - way to ruin all of our fun, buddy. And she is, I thought with deep irritation, old enough to know better. Then it was time for her last performance as Holly Hobby, and she put on her heavy boots and heavy parka and thick mitts and heavy toque over her hair - in two braids, for once, because of the demands of her art - as she sniffled and headed off red-eyed to the school gym. The Baby and I were sitting in the audience because it was our turn to watch (her dad and brother had gone the night before), and suddenly there was this tiny little child in a long prairie dress, her face hidden by a big white Holly Hobby bonnet, this tiny little child on a stage surrounded by people so much older and taller than her.

Oh, I marveled. She's still just a little girl.

Afterward, after the relieved excitement of the final performance, I took her to the Hardware Store in town at her request. The kids' school has this elf mail thing this week, where for a dollar you can send packages around the school to friends, and she wanted to go pick out a package for a friend. Instead of heading towards the expected aisles - the aisle with toys or the aisle with art supplies, she immediately started rifling through a basket of mittens near the front counter.

Mittens? I asked.

Her friend - not her best friend, just a friend - has one pair of gloves, she told me, and they're thin and have holes in them and they get wet at recess. She had decided to use her Christmas money given to her by her great-grandpa to send her friend good thick mittens through the school's elf mail.

She is not an angel, but she's doing her very best and standing there with her in our small town store, I suddenly found myself having to fight back fierce, proud tears.  Oh, I marveled. My girl.

So now I'm going to get off the computer and spend the rest of the day making gingersnaps and bread and pea soup with The Baby, these warm winter foods that will make the house smell welcoming when my older kids come back from school this afternoon, the sort of foods that say warmth and winter and home. I'd better get to it - childhood is pretty fleeting.

Comments

[Michelle]

You are raising such a caring and thoughtful daugther! Happy belated birthday to your hubby!

[carrien (she laughs at the days)]

Gah. I was not prepared for sobbing over here. It's a Kitchen PARTY, not a kitchen, tell such a touching story about your child that makes me cry!

Hug her once for me will you?

[carrien (she laughs at the days)]

Gah. I was not prepared for sobbing over here. It's a Kitchen PARTY, not a kitchen, tell such a touching story about your child that makes me cry!

Hug her once for me will you?

[shelly stetsko]

Your husband took great photos. I especially love the one of your daughter carefully cutting out her sugar cookie dough. Priceless!

[Pieces]

I need those reminders sometimes too. Girlkiddo seems so grown up, and is tall for her age. All her friends have turned 11 and I have to keep reminding myself--she is only 10! She is still a little girl!

[nathalie]

you should be very proud. We raise our kids the best way we know how and cross our fingers they do well in life and be good people..you should be very proud!

[Guinevere Meadow]

How sweet! You have raised her right, Beck.

[Julie Bo Boolie]

great big wet tears... wow

[Woman in a window]

It is amazing isn't it, when they're practically our height and yet so little? I've been watching mine carefully lately, watching her grow and run from me but yet fall back into the recesses of my arms when she's delighted or sidetracked and forgets that mommy's not supposed to love on her this much.

Lovely, lovely. And we missed the play (again!) Maybe we're destined to never see it, but hopefully for good reasons like this year, instead of the mourning of last.

[Janet]

Sometimes it is hard to forget that they are still little, isn't it? I remember you once sharing another story about your girl giving out little gifts to her firends and then handing her very own to another not-quite-friend who she didn't want to feel left out.

She has a big, huge heart for such a little(ish) kid.

[Kat]

Oh that dear sweet girl melts my heart and makes me cry. What a beautiful heart she has.

[Heather]

It is easy to forget sometimes that even though they're the older ones they're still little.

She has a heart of gold too.

[Heidi @ GGIP]

Oh that is wonderful for her to think of that!

[Omaha Mama]

Oh my heart. Mittens. Of all things.
What a wonderful story.

[Becky]

The crafts are very homespun in a great way. What a lovely thing for your girl to do with the mittens.

[Dorothy]

You have every reason to cry those "fierce, proud tears!" What a sweetheart!

[ewe_are_here]

She's sending her mittens? *sob* What a little lovely you have there.

[Alison]

Sometimes we do need to remember they're still little, right? She sounds like a girl with a heart of gold, which is even better than an angel in my opinion.

[Lisa Milton]

Her heart is good. I got teary eyed from way over here.

[becky]

The Girl's heart is so rich. I love her. Well done Girl!!

[Rosebud & Papoosie Girl]

Thanks for the reminder, they are just kids and I find I expect so much more from our oldest. Your supper sounds yummy.

[ser]

Oh my, I love this post. So often we expect so much of our children, especially our oldest ones. I know I expect too much of my oldest, and I so often notice his faults (which are abundant) and then he will do something wonderful that just pierces my heart and I know that it will all be okay.

[chelle]

What a wonderful and thoughtful thing for the Girl to do!

[Sue]

Wonderful. I have to remind myself that all the time - they're just so little. I don't know why sometimes that's so hard to remember. Why I expect so much of them sometimes. Thanks for the remind. You are just so lovely, you know that?

[Nowheymama]

I had that EXACT kind of moment with my girl this weekend, too.

Gingersnap recipe, please? We made ginger cookies this weekend that weren't very...snappy.

[Hetha]

Well I'm not fighting these tears right now. What a beautiful spirit you've been bringing into the world Beck. Love it.

[heidiannie]

She does know better- but sometimes emotions get the better of us- and she doesn't need to be an angel- because she is a real little girl who is beautiful inside and out. thanks for sharing your heart and your daughter with us today.

[His Girl Amber]

Why can I never comment intelligently when I read things you write? All I can come up with is "sigh" and "oh, that is so pretty" and "gee I want to write like you"

which is all my clumsy way of letting you know that your particular way of looking at life and your unique way of writing about it inspire me to be a better person.