urbanmoms.ca Book Club

"A Book is a Present You Can Open Again and Again"

My Aunt Barb once gave me a gift of a book and a package of adhesive book plates inscribed with this phrase:

A book is a present you can open again and again.

I cherished both the book (the complete and uncut hardcover version of Stephen King's The Stand: an extraordinary read) and the book plates. The sentiment was so novel to me at first, and yet reflected a deep love of reading that I'd already possessed for a number of years.

And over the years, Aunt Barb has been an excellent recommender of books to me: Ken Follet's The Pillars of the Earth, Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials series (The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife, The Amber Spyglass) and so many more that I couldn't possibly list all the great reads Aunt Barb has passed my way.

And ever since that birthday so many years ago, I have never opened a book without remembering Aunt Barb's adhesive advice. So when I received a package full of books from the lovely folks at Penguin, I couldn't help thinking, oh wonderful! Presents I can open again and again!

And I have opened them again and again, as a matter of fact.

The first book I picked out of the box was J. K. Rowling's The Tales of Beedle the Bard. As a huge Harry Potter fan, I knew I'd enjoy this cute little book. I was surprised, however, by how much I enjoyed it, as I'd been a bit worried that it might seem -- well, trivial -- after the intensity of books six and seven in the HP series (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows). Far from being trite or trivial, though The Tales of Beedle the Bard is a piece of magic in its own right.

True to Rowling's formula, there is something for both kids and parents to enjoy in this little gem. My eight year-old daughter (a huge HP fan) loved the tales themselves and Rowling's own beautiful illustrations. And while I really enjoyed the stories, what really won me over was the commentary at the end of each tale: discovered "among the many papers which Dumbledore left in his will to the Hogwarts Archives," the commentary adds a hilarious new perspective to these edifying tales. I also really appreciated Rowling's foreword, in which she points out that the heroines in these magical fairy tales are much more active than their counterparts in muggle fairy tales: they "take their fates into their own hands, rather than taking a prolonged nap or waiting for someone to return a lost shoe."

Now I must be honest here, and tell you that we've been so busy in the leadup to Christmas that we've only managed to get through two of the five books in the package. And one of the reasons we've been so busy is that the second book I pulled out of the box was Jan Brett's Gingerbread Friends.

A follow-up to the popular Gingerbread Baby, Gingerbread Friends brings us back to our friends Mattie and the cheeky gingerbread baby. Lonely in his gingerbread house, the gingerbread baby heads out to the village in search of friends to play with. As in the first book, Mattie is in the borders of Brett's incredible illustrations, this time baking some friends for his friend the gingerbread baby.

We decided to use Brett's recipe to bake some gingerbread cookies of our own, and I got together with my two daughters, nephew and neice for an afternoon of baking. We had hours of fun measuring out all the spices, sugar, molasses and butter, and even had a long-ish discussion about the order for a "hen's egg" (what other kind of egg could there be? A rooster's egg? And so on...)

Jan Brett has always been a family favourite for her incredibly beautiful illustrations and lovely takes on traditional tales from across the globe. We also love that each story has a second plot that you can follow along in the borders of the illustrations, and this story does not disappoint. Gingerbread Friends is a worthy successor to Gingerbread Baby, complete with a beautifully-wrought surprise on the last page.

If you haven't already rounded out the gift list for the young ones on your list - I strongly recommend either The Tales of Beedle the Bard or Gingerbread Friends.

Will Work from Home (and a Giveaway!)

Here at urbanmoms.ca we're very supportive of the recent trend towards WAHMs (work-at-home-moms, for the uninitiated). After all, it's what we are! We even have an entire section of the site devoted to sharing stories from fellow mom entrepreneurs (work at home or otherwise) and to helping them promote their businesses - check out the urbanmoms.ca Marketplace for more.

So we were really excited when the folks at Penguin offered to send us a copy of Will Work from Home: Earn the Cash Without the Commute to review and give away (including a nifty free bookmark and all).

This book is not just about starting your own business from home (in fact, only one section is devoted entirely to the mom entrepreneur option). It's all about finding options for earning income from home, whether that means moving your existing job to your home office, finding a new employer who supports your desire to work from home or pursuing one of the several other options to earn income without commuting. But the basic message is this: Escape the cube. Ditch the commute. It’s not just a dream anymore.

Many people already spend 12 hours a day getting to work, working, getting home from work. Here’s some good news: thanks to advances in technology, acceptance of outsourcing, the trend towards corporate flextime, and other factors, working from home is easier than ever.

Good Morning America’s Workplace Contributor Tory Johnson and consumer advocate Robyn Freedman Spizman tell readers exactly how to turn today’s cultural change to their advantage without giving up an income. Specific business plans will teach them how to:
• Take their current position home
• Find a new company whose policies will allow them to work from home
• Reseach a product they believe in, and sell it from home
• Start their own business, doing something they love, for a minimal initial investment

With real-life stories, a step-by-step plan, resource guides, and lists of scams to avoid, this is the book that will help readers finally make the leap––and show them that they don’t have to give up their family, creativity, or peace of mind to earn a decent salary.

And now, here's how you can win your own copy of Will Work from Home (including free bookmark!). In keeping to the "ditch the commute" theme, we're going to ask you to share your best commuting to work stories in the comments below. One winner will be chosen at random from the entries below to receive the prize. Please remember to include your email address (it won't be displayed) so that we have a way to get in touch with you if you're the lucky winner.

So, get to work! Tell us your longest, shortest, silliest, slowest, craziest or best commute to work story. It doesn't have to be a horror story and it could be from before you had kids - it just has to be related to commuting to work. Go!

Inspiration. Aspiration. Expiration?

It's an odd thing, this desire to write. More to the point: to write and to be published. So many of us have it, and so few succeed. Are we drawn to criticism, failure and self-punishment? Or is the drive to express oneself and have that expression validated by others somehow universal?

I often think that's the real beauty of blogs and the internet. They take away the middleman and bring writers and readers together directly. I've often said that there's a market for anything (although I did say it in the context of eBay, not books); and it's just a matter of getting the buyer and seller in touch with each other. Honestly: spend some time on eBay, even just to amuse yourself. I swear you could sell toe lint on eBay and someone would buy it. No joke.

Of course, another thing I've often said is that there are so many crappy books out there, that surely I must be able to write something that some publisher somewhere would want to buy. Turns out I was wrong with that one. Or so far, at least.

But getting published is like getting my first job was, back in the recession of '92: you needed experience to get a job, and you needed a job to get experience. I recently had some advice from a woman in the publishing industry: avoid the slush pile at all costs (the slush pile is where publishers put all the unsolicited manuscripts they get). To avoid the slush pile? Get a literary agent. But - and here's the rub - to get a (legitimate) literary agent, you need an offer. See what I mean? How to get an offer without an agent? How to get an agent without an offer?

And just when I was about to give up, I heard about the CBC Literary Awards. Backed up by $60,000 in prize money from the Canada Council for the Arts, this is Canada's only literary competition featuring unpublished works in both of Canada's official languages. There are three categories: short story, poetry and creative non-fiction. The deadline is November 1st, and I'm almost done with the finishing touches on my first ever submission. I am most likely setting myself up for another round of literary disappointment, but I will hold my head up high and remember that that which does not kill us only makes us stronger.

And there will always be next year, because this contest celebrates unpublished works.

Kath is a regular urbanmoms.ca contributor in her blog Losing It.

The Best Baby Books

So, my little sister is expecting her first baby...I know! So exciting! I was in her living room the other day and noticed a book for new dads. One of those "Everything for New Dads" type of things. And I commented on it, saying something like, "awww, how cute! He has a New Dad book!"

"Yeah, I've read it," she replied.

It sounded so familiar. When I was pregnant -- especially with my first child -- I absolutely devoured books on pregnancy, birth and parenting. My husband? Not so much. I know most of my friends reported the same phenomenon.

So it would seem to be a somewhat universal trend, this insatiable thirst for information during pregnancy. And there is no shortage of books out there designed to fill the niche. But wading through what's good, bad or maybe just not right for you is usually a hit-and-miss affair. You run out and buy a book that your best girlfriend recommended only to find that it a) terrifies you or b) doesn't resonate with your personal parenting philosophy. As an midwife-using home-birther, dedicated breastfeeder and attachment-parenting devotee, I ran across this a lot when reading most mainstream pregnancy, childbirth and parenting books.

And so, when my lil' sis' asked me what baby book I'd recommend, I thought I'd put together a little list of my fave reads for pregnancy, childbirth and early parenting.

PREGNANCY:

Pregnancy And Birth: A Month-by-month Guide To Making The Best Decisions For You And Your Baby, by Teresa Pitman and Joyce Barrett MD

I loved that this book is written by Canadian authors, because it's so hard to find a non-American book in this category. Easy to read, reassuring and written from the perspective that pregnancy and birth are normal, natural experiences that usually don't need much tampering with, I found this to be a great reference. Co-author Teresa Pitman is a renowned Canadian parenting and breastfeeding expert, and for those who are on the more traditional side, the fact that the other author is an MD is reassuring.

BIRTH:

The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth, by Shelia Kitzinger

This book was my absolute Bible during both of my pregnancies, but most especially during the first, when every single sensation was new. Social Anthropologist Kitzinger reminds us that health (including pregnancy and childbirth) is not a medical artifact, rather our health is influenced by many different factors like "economics, politics, the social system in which we live, conditions in the work-place, poisons in the environment, and personal relationships". Taking all this into account, Kitzinger contrasts views of pregnancy birth from around the world and throughout the social history of our species, and examines the current Western medical model, the influence it has on our view of pregnancy and birth, and what we can do to achieve the individual birth experience we each hope for.

BABY BOOK:

The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two, by Dr. William Sears MD and Martha Sears RN

I couldn't have lived through the first few years of both my children's lives without the Sears' wise and gentle advice. In a world of parent-centred baby books geared at teaching your baby (at a very early age) how to fit into your routine and lifestyle, I found it so refreshing and reassuring to find a book that encourages us as parents to support our children's individual needs - even if it means changing our old habits a little bit. One of my favourite positions is about babies who wake a lot at night - instead of calling it "night waking" or "sleep problems", the Sears' (parents of seven children themselves) gently remind us that our job as parents doesn't stop when the lights go out by calling it "night-time parenting".

The Wise Woman

Can you think of anything more wonderful than opening up your mailbox and finding books inside? Neither can I. So, as I said last week, I was thrilled to get a package with a number of books from the really nice folks at Simon & Schuster Canada this summer.

The first book from this package was Philippa Gregory's The Wise Woman. This book was originally published following her Wideacre trilogy (which I haven't personally read yet), and is her first novel set in Tudor England. As the publisher puts it, Gregory takes the reader "on a journey to the outer reaches of passion, where magic and female power meet." Which is true.

The protagonist is a young woman named Alys who has entered a convent basically to find the girlhood she never had, but is quickly ousted when the local lord (Hugo) and his gang destroy the nunnery during Henry VIII's destruction of England's monasteries. Desperate, Alys returns to live with her stepmother Morach, the strange and nebulously dangerous local wise woman. Life with Morach is hard, cold and emotionally empty, and Alys constantly yearns for her old life in the convent and the Mother Superior she loved there. But she knows she can never go back - Mother Superior and all Alys's sisters perished in the fire set by Hugo and his men. Even more, it can be dangerous for former nuns in Henry VIII's England, so Alys must hide her true identity. Balancing on a knife-edge of peril, Alys must choose between loyalty to her vocation as a nun, and survival in the equally dangerous life Morach offers - as a wise woman.

Unexpectedly Alys is summoned to the castle as the old lord's scribe, where her life takes a 180 degree turn. After fighting his many advances, Alys eventually falls in love with the convent-burning Lord Hugo, who is inconveniently already married to Catherine. And this is where we enter the "outer reaches of passion, where magic and female power meet." Alys first enlists Morach and her magic to turn Hugo's passion back to his wife Catherine, but then finds that her magic -- at first so successful -- has taken on a life of its own, and will pursue its own ends, regardless of her intentions.

I was initially skeptical about this book - it didn't feature any of the famous characters we've all come to know and love through The Other Boleyn Girl and the many other great reads that she has written set in Tudor England. But Gregory does manage to deliver some of the magic we've come to expect from her other Tudor-era works, although I will freely admit that she at first strained the limits of my credulity with her use of magic in The Wise Woman, and then just went ahead and smashed through them altogether.

In the end, I did enjoy the book, although there were a few chapters towards the end that I'd rather she hadn't written, truth be told. In hindsight, The Wise Woman is a bit reminiscent of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein in the sense that, like Frankenstein, Alys uses powers far beyond her ken to give life to creatures over whom she has no control, and with disastrous consequences. And Gregory is always a master of character: Alys is no pure protagonist, and Morach is never 100% villain. Even as the plot takes ever more unbelievable turns, the characters blossom and expose their deeper layers and their true humanity, which for me is entirely redeeming.

In short: I wouldn't hesitate to recommend The Wise Woman, but don't forget to bring your imagination along for the ride.

This review was written by Kath.

Promise of the Wolves

A while back, the nice folks at Simon & Schuster sent me this book:

I've always had a soft-spot for fantasy and sci-fi, so I took a peek within. Here's how the promotional material read:

WHAT IS THE PROMISE OF THE WOLF?

NEVER CONSORT WITH HUMANS.

NEVER KILL A HUMAN UNPROVOKED.

NEVER ALLOW A MIXED-BLOOD WOLF TO LIVE.

At least that's what the wolves of the Wide Valley believe. Until a young wolf dares to break the rules -- and forever alters the relationship between wolves and the humans who share their world.

This is the story of such a wolf. Born of a forbidden mixed-blood litter and an outcast after her mother is banished, Kaala is determined to earn a place in the Swift River pack. But her world is turned upside down when she saves a human girl from drowning. Risking expulsion from their pack and exile from the Wide Valley, Kaala and her young packmates begin to hunt with the humans and thus discover the long-hidden bond between the two clans. But when war between wolves and humans threatens, Kaala learns the lies behind the wolf 's promise. Lies that force her to choose between safety for herself and her friends and the survival of her pack -- and perhaps of all wolf- and humankind.

Set 14,000 years ago, Promise of the Wolves takes us to a land where time is counted in phases of the moon, distance is measured in wolflengths, and direction by the scent of the nearest trail. Years of research into the world of wolves combines with mythical tale-telling to present a fantastical adventure set in a world filled with lore.

Well, to tell you the truth it all sounded a little too much like the perfect Ayla, inventor of all good things and domesticator of dogs and horses (of Jean M. Auel's Earth's Children Series). Plus, not being a dog person (I vote decidedly and emphatically for the cat party) I wasn't too hyped about taking this one up. But: never being one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I carried on. And you know what? I really enjoyed Promise of the Wolves.

Despite the fact that I haven't the first clue how to pronounce the protagonist's name, I couldn't help rooting for the gutsy and loyal Kaala. Author Dorothy Hearst also does a beautiful job creating the setting, often managing also to catch the animal-ness of her characters, particularly in the case of the ravens and their interactions with the Swift River pack. And despite my ahh, well, how to put this -- distaste -- for dogs, I found myself becoming fascinated with wolves. The author's website has some fascinating resources for wolf information.

All in all, Promise of the Wolves was a fun and enjoyable summer read, which left me looking forward to reading book 2 in the Wolf Chronicles.

This review was written by Kath.

If You Liked the Other Boleyn Girl...

Okay, I'll admit it. I loved The Other Boleyn Girl (you can read my original review of this title here). In short, I thought it was a compelling and well-crafted narrative that brought to life one of English history's most interesting, tragic and misunderstood personages in Anne Boleyn, through the eyes of her sister, Mary.

But I'm not here to write (again) about Philippa Gregory's first (and, in my opinion best) historical novel about Tudor England.

I'm here to tell you about a book I discovered quite by accident: Nefertiti, by Michelle Moran. I picked it up in the Calgary airport, just before a nine-hour flight to London, knowing I'd need something good to read on the plane (and a good thing, too, since I still had 7 hours to kill after watching the movie version of The Other Boleyn Girl!)

Nefertiti is the story of two sisters from a powerful political family with close ties to the throne. One sister becomes queen, and the younger sister must then serve her interests and those of her family, seemingly at the expense of her own happiness. But political turmoil boils just below the surface, and danger lurks behind every pillar in the royal palace.

Clearly, there are a lot of parallels between the story of Nefertiti and her younger sister Mutnojmet and that of Anne and Mary Boleyn. Right down to the failure to bear a male heir, it's remarkable how the theme plays out; this time in ancient Egypt. At first, I'll admit, I did find it a bit uncanny: the strong-willed and  beautiful sister trampling heartlessly over the hopes and dreams of her younger sister in her single-minded quest to sexually dominate the king. It just seemed like it had been done before.

But I quickly became engrossed in the story and came to know and love the sisters, and realized that the uncanny similarities are not in the telling of the stories by Gregory or Moran, but rather in the stories themselves. Both writers do justice to the compelling tales of the remarkable historical figures of Anne Boleyn and Nefertiti and their younger sisters, expertly drawing our attention to the impossible situation of women in any age when men can hold our very lives in their often fickle hands.

If you're a fan of historical fiction; if you enjoyed The Other Boleyn Girl, then pick up Nefertiti. You won't be disappointed!

This review was written by Kath.

The National Posts "50 Books to See You Through the Summer"

This is the time of year when msot publications print their book lists. I always find these very stressful because there are usually 20, 25, or in this case, 50 books you should read over the summer. I am a very prolific reader and, as a teacher, I am not even working over the summer, but there is no way, I can read 50 books. If you manage to read the 50 recommended by the Post, I will send you a copy of Meg Wolitzer's new novel, The Ten Year Nap (to be reviewed next week), as your 51st.

Intimidation by the sheer numbers aside, over the next few weeks, I will try and keep up with the links to summer reading suggestions so you can choose a few texts t accompany you on your holidays.

Here is the link for the Post's 50 Books To See You Through The Summer.

There was also a great collection compiled by Jesse Kinos-Goodin on page 4 of The Weekend Post of well-known authors and book lovers and the one book that "changed their lives, that they've read a dozen times without ever getting old."

Here's a summary ( I have asterisked the ones I have read):

Gail Bowen          -        Sir Gawain and the Green Knight (Simon Armitage translation)

Kevin Newman      -       Gates of Fire (Steven Pressfield)

Abigail Carter        -      The Egg and I (Betty MacDonald)

Augusten Burroughs -     Midaq Alley (Naghib Mahfouz) *

Mary Swan            -       The Pumpkin Eater (Penelope Mortimer)

Andrew Westoll     -       Fugitive Pieces (Anne Michaels)*

Todd Babiak          -      The Great Gatsby (F.Scott Fitzgerald)*

Reva Seth           -         How to Eat: The Pleasures and Principles of Good Food  (Nigella Lawson)                              
Mark Kingwell     -         Lucky Jim (Kingsley Amis)

Shelagh Rogers    -        No Great Mischief (Alistair MacLeod)*

John Moffat           -      Space, Time and Gravitation" An Outline of the General Relativity Theory
                                   (Sir Arthur Eddington)

Anne Simpson       -       D'Aulaires' Book of Greek Myths (Ingri and Edgar Parin D'Aulaire)

Christopher Shulgan   -  Lenin's Tomb (David Remnick)

Kildare Dobbs        -      What is Life? (Erwin Schrodinger)

Ibi Kaslik               -      The Bell Jar (Sylvia Plath) *

Bob Rae                -       Homage to Catalonia (Michael Knight)

Taras Grescoe       -        Dispatches (Michael Herr)

I'd love to read some reviews if you have read any of these. Feel free to add your own summer reading recommendations.

Happy Reading!

Career Girl's Guide to Becoming a STEPMOM

At the moment, I suck as a mother, a step-mother, a wife and a woman in general. I have just come home, at 9:30, after a very long day at work to bark at a 17 year old step-daughter who came home at the same time as me even though my last communication with her was that she would be home at 6:30. Of course, she barked back! Then, instead of thanking the 15 year old for watching the Gaffer so I could work late I barked at her for leaving the kitchen a mess. I would have yelled at the 13 year old boy for leaving the TV on, again! but he was asleep. I didn't read the Gaffer a story at her request because I was too grumpy and that made her cry.  Why is she even still awake? Mr. Husband ordered my favourite take out for dinner - Indian - but none of the dishes I like. I was ungrateful,  ate them anyway because I eat when I am upset and now feel sick and very full.

 
That is why I am happy to have Jacquelyn Fletcher's A Career Girl's Guide to Becoming a Stepmom beside me to remind me of all the things I don't have to be.  I knew I would be intrigued by the book by the title of the first chapter, "Cinderella's Man Didn't Have Any Kids; Why Does Mine?"  Mr. Husband definitely presented himself to me as my Prince Charming and the way he behaved with his children was a huge selling feature. Not everyone gets to see what kind of parent their future spouse will be first hand and there is that bonus in marrying a man who already has children, but there are also many challenges.
I have been blessed with missing much of the movie-of-the-week melodrama of step-parenting. Mr. Husband and his ex-wife have good communication and get along well in their exhanges about the kids. We live 5 blocks apart so the toing and froing seems to work as well as it can.

This isn't true for every step-family and absolutely no two families are alike, but we do have some similarities. Fletcher's book offers great insights into what some of these trials and tribulations can be, and even references research, statistics and anecdotal evidence from other step-mothers and Jacquelyne's own experiences as both a step-daughter and step-mother to three.

The back jacket of the book tells us that Fletcher offers advice, hope, encouragement, and much-needed answers to common conundrums, including:   Why don't I have control over my own schedule? What kind of relationship do I want with my stepkids? What if I want to have a baby of my own? How do we create a budget that feels fair if I make more money than my husband does? A Career Girl's Guide to Becoming a Stepmom is essential reading for the professional woman who has it all--and then suddenly has more than she expected. A weakness of the book for me is its occasional repetitiveness and its emphasis on the step-mom who comes from a highly successful business background. That is not me and I did not relate to all of the business jargon, but I did appear on many other pages. There are 17 chapters that all follow the same format.

Each chapter opens with The Career Girl's Personal Assistant which frames tricky questions and situations in business language and action plans. There is then an explanation, analysis and anecdotes about the situations in other families. Finally the chapters end with Topics for Two which provide discussion points for the step-mom and her husband to work through. My usually cynical husband liked many of the questions and suggestions, but kept asking where the book was 7 years ago when we started on this journey. Jacque and her family are a bit too touchy-feely for me and my family, but her book had many insights and provided a lot of aha! moments for me. She has a personal website on step-parenting with a monthly newsletter to which I subscribe http://www.becomingastepmom.com/ and I highly recommend.

A Room of One's Own

It is official.  I have bitten off more than I can chew.  I have always had a tendency to over-subscribe to activities, projects, groups, clubs.  I signed up for everything and then cried at the kitchen table while my mom reheated my tuna casserole because I couldn't do it all.

I feel like crying tonight. I am missing both my book club (is there any worse admission from a literary mom?) and a gathering of some of my favourite women in the neighbourhood for what I know will be an ex-rated conversation after a few glasses of some yummy red wine.

And why am I missing these two events? Because I am too exhausted to move, I am on the verge of a major cold, I have 20 essays to mark, another friend who has just been diagnosed with breast cancer, an exam to prepare, a toddler bed to build, the first attack of the black crayola monster all over the beautiful yellow bedroom wall to clean, groceries  to buy and at this hour I'll have to hit the 24hr Dominion, bills verging on obscenely late to be paid, a living room covered in toys, a husband who usually pays no attention to the real estate market - all of a sudden keen on getting our real estate agent and me out looking at homes - cause that's not too time consuming, and my eyes fall on one of my favourite books of all time and I think, if I only had a room, all to myself, where I could hide away and lock the door occasionally, all would be well!

Those of you of a certain age and stage may remember Claire Huxtable, recently named TV's greatest mom by MSNBC.

She was the matriarch of the Huxtable family on the Cosby and show and the kind of mom I had always hoped to be - so far, not even close.  One of my favourite episodes is called Claire's Place (if you can find it on youtube, please let me know, I gave up in the 200's) where Cliff builds Claire a room of her own. Demonstrating just how enduring good literature is, this concept of a room of one's own was not fresh to the Cosby writer's rather an homage to Virginia Woolf's 1929 extended essay.

 In 1928, successful Modernist writer, Woolf was invited to Newnham College, one of two women's colleges at Cambridge, to discuss the topic of women and fiction. A Room of One's Own, one of the original arguments for independence for women, is  the printed collection of those talks. Woolf's thesis examines the idea that a woman "needs money and a room of her own to write fiction." This idea has been extrapolated by feminist literary critics over the years to include the concept that women need time and space of their own in order to learn, discover, appreciate and develop themselves. 

For a formal essay, the book has great literary merit with the use of symbolism, motifs and some short plot narratives to keep the reader's attention while fully nodding her head in agreement with Woolf's theories.

In one chapter, Woolf creates a fictitious character in Judith Shakespeare, William's twin, in order to demonstrate the gender inequities for women in general and writer's specifically. Judith, who is more talented than William but robbed by society and its rules of an opportunity and outlet for those talents, commits suicide.

In another, Woolf discusses the careers of Jane Austen, the Bronte sisters and George Eliot. Eliot, a pseudonym for author Mary a Evans, who knew she could not get her fiction published as a woman, wrote Middlemarch, the first quintessential trashy summer novel in 1871.  It is set in Middlemarch, the fictional town of Coventry in the 1830's.. Although the story revolves around the unfortunate marriage of Dorothea Brooke, her friendship with Dr. Tertius Lydgate, the trials of his social climbing wife Rosamund, and all their friends and acquaintances, it is also a treatise of the limited power and subservient role of women in the early 1800's.   Their only access to money is through marriage and inheritance and any time spent alone would be considered suspect and cause for scandal.

Now that I am a mother/step-mother myself, I believe that what Woolf suggested through the plight of the women who wrote before her almost a hundred years ago is truer of mothers than anyone else.  Sometimes a wife, a mother, a woman needs to be able to close a door behind her and just be. At the moment, my quiet place is in the laundry room and with the dryer running, I can't even hear the fights over the computer and tv. At the moment I can't fit a chair in there, but I can lean against the washer and breathe deeply for a few moments before I go back into the fray.


Here's a little reading quiz I wrote for my Grade 12's a few years ago, if you're so inclined.  Answers next week.
A Room of One's Own
Reading Quiz

Fill in the blank:

1.    "A woman must have ? and ? if she is to write fiction."

2.    The imaginary narrator of Woolf's essay is ? (write any one answer)

3.    Who is Shakespeare's fictional sister?

4.    At the fictional university of Oxbridge, where Woolf sets her essay, women are not allowed to a) b) c)

5.    At the British Museum, the narrator realizes that most books about women are written by ?

6.    Three reasons why Shakespeare's imaginary sister cannot become a writer are:

7.    The novel is the best form of literature for 19th century female writers such as Austen, the Brontes and George Eliot because they were trained in the art of?

8.    Aphra Behn was the first woman writer to be ?

9.    Why would "Chloe liked Olivia" be a good title for Chapter 5?

10.    Samuel Taylor Coleridge said that a good mind is "_______________________", meaning "it transmits emotion without impediment; it is naturally creative, incandescent and undivided."

11.    What is the first word of Chapter 1?

Things Go Flying

Hey! Check this out! This Life is taking on a new focus and I am becoming the Literary Mom for urbanmoms.ca. I am so honoured and psyched to combine the three things that make my life worth living...my family, reading and writing...into one happening spot.  For my inaugural blog on the new site, I want to share a great discovery with you


Things Go Flying

The first thing I loved about this book is the title.  It reminds me of my life.  Everything around me seems to be flying...time, the growth of my step-kids and the Gaffer, food out of the fridge, money out of my wallet, the frizzies on the side of ponytail, me...in an effort to get myself and everyone else where we need to be and when. So when I was asked to attend the launch of neophyte novelist Shari Lapena for her book, Things Go Flying, I was thrilled. Look, there are even pictures of me...and me and the author.

The second thing I loved about the book was the teaser on the back of the cover. "Harold Walker, desperately average, is in the throes of a mid-life depression. His wife, Audrey clings to an illusory sense of control - over their home, their teenaged sons, Dylan and John, and her own explosive secret." I felt like both characters, desperately average and fully clinging to an illusory sense of control...I have no explosive secret...but if anyone ever challenges my illusion that I've got everything under control, I may just fold up like an old seventies bridge chair.

The third thing I loved, was meeting Shari herself, who was so sweet, unassuming and welcoming to a total stranger at her very funky launch in Leslieville, that I just wanted to hide in a corner and start reading right then and there; but, minding my manners, I did wait until I got home.

And then I climbed into bed and thoroughly enjoyed an entertaining ride alongside the Walker family's trials and tribulations which, aside from a deep connection with the after- life and a fairly extreme case of marital infidelity, are not much different than any of those experienced by ourselves, our friends or our neighbours.  Harold's wallowing is frustrating, Audrey's anxiety and how she chooses to cope, very familiar and the troubles of the teens a scary peak into the future or alarming mirror of what is happening right now, depending on the age of our children.

But the seemingly ordinary tale of a nuclear family in Toronto who just happens to be slightly dysfunctional and haunted by ghosts is told with such a light hand and wry humour that the reader cannot resist cheering for a maudlin Harold and hoping that his son John manages to get his act together. Just in case this all sounds too light for your reading taste, there are even some brilliant scenes between Harold and his personal philosopher that examine some of the teachings of Neitzsche and Voltaire.


When you finish reading Things Go Flying, you may feel that Shari was spying in your window during an argument with your husband or peaking at you when you thought you were enjoying a private hand-wringing session in the kitchen with a warm mug of tea or a tall glass of gin. You will chuckle, you will grimace, and you may even cry, but you will not be disappointed that you read Shari's novel.  www.sharilapena.com

PS - Here's a link to a great review in the Globe and Mail.

Book Review: The Girls, by Lori Lansens

We sent a copy of Lori Lansen's The Girls (published by Random House Canada) to Sarah, urbanmoms.ca member and book review panelist. She shares her thoughts on this interesting and unusal novel for us below:

U: What was your initial impression of this book?

Sarah: My initial impression of the book (before I even started reading it, in fact) was that I expected that it would be quite weird. Conjoined twins (especially being joined at the head) didn’t strike me as something that a reader would get beyond in order to focus on the story… or that any story would be able to compete with the 'unusualness' of its characters.  By the second page I realized I was wrong in my assumption. The author has a lovely voice – two lovely voices in fact - and I found myself engaged with the girls immediately.

U: What do you think are the key messages of this book?  Did they resonate with you?

Sarah: I wonder if there were actual ‘messages’. I suppose a glaring one would be "don’t judge a book by its cover".  In fact, I think Don’t Judge was a strong message but delivered in a subtle way. It was very effective.  There was so much more to the characters and the book than it initially appears.
To me, The Girls demonstrates repeated examples of acceptance and how subjective ‘normalcy’ is depending on our situations.

U: What would another mother find most appealing about this book?

Sarah: Ruby and Rose’s relationship, the caring, challenging, tolerant, loving and balancing aspects of the way these two women have lived their lives together speaks to the mother in all of us.  At varying times, each is caretaker to the other – sometimes powerless to do anything but lend loving support.  As mothers (sisters, daughters, friends), as women, our silent loving support may never be tested/pushed to the limits that Ruby and Rose experience. It is a testament to the author that she was able to capture that so fully and present it in two separate voices, from two different vantage points.

U: What stood out about this book?

Sarah: I think the structure of the book was really unique. I enjoy first person narratives and the fact that there were two of them, telling the same story but with very different viewpoints really clarified a lot of the stories.  Ruby provided a lot of gritty detail to some of the stories that Rose told somewhat ambiguously and Rose in turn, was very candid about a number of instances where she had protected Ruby from seeing or experiencing unpleasantness.  By virtue of Rose’s physical dominance, she was (by circumstance or by choice) in a protective role to her sister, Ruby and it was refreshing to be able to read both sides of their experiences.

U: Would you recommend this book to a friend?  Why/why not?

Sarah: I have and would recommend this book to a friend because even aside from the story, the concept of the book (a dual autobiography) and the voice(s) of the author make the book a pleasure to read.

U: Please share any other comments about your experience with this book.

Sarah: Well, I miss them.  It feels like I finished the book ages ago and I am still wondering how the girls are now, if their respective romances ever blossomed. I want to know how Christmas and New Year's turned out and how the crows looked against the snow at the Merkel’s farm.  Like friends out of touch, I want to reconnect and hear what’s happening now.

The ending of the book isn’t sad per se, it’s just the sadness in your relationship with them becoming so distant that has stayed with me. As I said, I miss them.

Sarah is an urbanmoms.ca member and participant in our book review panel. Of her experience reviewing The Girls for us, she says: "I had so much fun and got a lot more out of the book because it forced me to really be present when I was reading...thanks for the opportunity to be involved!" A great big urbanmoms.ca THANK YOU to Sarah for her thoughtful review of this novel. Please share your thoughts on this book, the review and related topics below in comments.

Lasting Connections

It has been a number of years since our Group of Seven moms started our bookclub.  Inspired by the need for intellectual conversation and a break from our new responsibilities, this monthly gathering enabled us to get to know each other outsided of the world of momdom.  We discussed, disagreed, and indulged in conversation, food, and spirits.

These regular meetings soon moved beyond books with our husbands teasingly nicknaming us The Booze Club.  We spent many evenings discussing current events, politics, work/life balance and, on occassion, books!  In the last two years we have also started our annual ski weekend.  Come blizzard, sleet, or subsequent pregnancies, the Group of Seven gathers for a weekend away enjoying skiing, snowshoeing, and each other's company.

As you can see, our simple bookclub created lasting connections that have led to some of the most valuable friendships of my life thus far.  We are now planning on getting back into the reading books part of the bookclub!  I will post our latest books here.  Email me if you have suggestions.

Jen