Yup, I've been absent. Distracted. Tired. Busy. Life is a whirlwind and my head is swimming. When someone you love is hurting it is tough to focus. And in my case everyone I love is hurting in some way. My mom is so ill. My sisters are so sad and so far away from their families. My dad. Oh, my dad. There are no words for the depths of his despair. Me. My kids. And so many others.
I am having trouble thinking of anything else and, honestly, I didn't want to burden you with it again. But obviously, the evidence is on this page, I had very little else to say.
I guess I could talk about the fact that my boy came in 1st in his 1500m race today and 3rd in the 800m in the pouring rain! They were exciting. Especially the sprint to the finish in the 1500m. But I was in a fog. It really irritated me that everything just went on like normal. Like the most devastating thing to ever happen wasn't taking place as we stood there cheering our kids on. Did none of them notice? Sheesh.
It is just so strange that my world is completely upside down in every way and it barely registers a ripple in most people's lives. Of course I get it. People get sick every day. The world can't stop and make adjustments or mourn along with you but it definitely feels more than odd.
So as I struggle to adapt, the world just goes on. I hope you understand why, for now anyway, I am having trouble being an active participant.
I am having trouble thinking of anything else and, honestly, I didn't want to burden you with it again. But obviously, the evidence is on this page, I had very little else to say.
I guess I could talk about the fact that my boy came in 1st in his 1500m race today and 3rd in the 800m in the pouring rain! They were exciting. Especially the sprint to the finish in the 1500m. But I was in a fog. It really irritated me that everything just went on like normal. Like the most devastating thing to ever happen wasn't taking place as we stood there cheering our kids on. Did none of them notice? Sheesh.
It is just so strange that my world is completely upside down in every way and it barely registers a ripple in most people's lives. Of course I get it. People get sick every day. The world can't stop and make adjustments or mourn along with you but it definitely feels more than odd.
So as I struggle to adapt, the world just goes on. I hope you understand why, for now anyway, I am having trouble being an active participant.
Jen, i'm thinking of you so much right now. Of course, the world should stop and acknowledge your pain. You're balancing so much right now - i admire your strength.
As you know I have been where you are. I wonder if that is what they mean by "the fog of war"? Big thank you to my husband who told me to set aside my work and go. He was right. Take the time you need we'll be here when you get back. Thinking of you and your family as you travel this sad trail.
Jen, anyone who knows you knows you and understands what your family's been dealing with for almost a year now understands how many balls you're juggling under surreal conditions. Cut yourself some slack when you can and be sure to vent to friends whenever necessary. We as women friends form such a strong community and rise to the occasion in times like this.
HUGS.
this is your space, lady. if you want to go ahead and write the exact same thing every damn day, go ahead and do it. it's probably good for you. you are not burdening us. you are letting us in. letting us see your pain...so we can try to stop our own worlds and melt with you.