Imagine how the kids in Ontario's grade 6 & 7 classrooms will feel. Ontario's new sex education curriculum introduces gender identity and same sex relationships to the grade 3s and anal intercourse, masturbation and vaginal lubrication to grades 6 & 7. By Grade 8, students are also expected to grasp the basic elements of
contraception, and to understand the subtle differences between
two-spirited, transgendered, transsexual, and intersex. Wtf? I obviously need to go back to grade 8 'cause, really? Needless to say, the new curriculum guidelines have some parents feeling more than a bit uncomfortable and religious groups up in arms. As Margaret Wente of the Globe and Mail says in a recent article:
In a way, I sympathize with the socially conservative crowd. "Our young children ... should not have to think about sex at such a delicate age," says Ekron Malcolm,But as Wente also points out, we live in a sex-centric culture and most parents are not doing a great job of sex education at home. The kids that need the information and preparation the most often come from homes where they are least likely to get it. I spent some time chatting with my friend Jennifer about this yesterday and we both agreed that we definitely want to discuss all of these things with our soon-to-be pubescent nearly 11-year-old boys before they get it in school. We have both bought books, talked about hygiene and had one or two semi-uncomfortable conversations about sex but, surprisingly (she oozes with sarcasm), "anal intercourse" and "intersex" have not really come up. Why would they at this point if we weren't trying to beat the school to the punch?director of the Institute for Canadian Values. I, too, would like to roll back the clock to a time when boys were respectful, girls were virgins, and they only dated each other. Too bad those times never did exist. It's also too bad that we live in a sex-saturated culture where girls hit puberty at 9 and nearly every kid, however delicate, has been exposed to Internet porn by the age of 10. But there you are.
However, I do agree that sex education has a place in schools. Every kid is not going to be comfortable asking every question of their mom or dad and some will only learn what they get from the schoolyard and it is amazing what a group of kids can concoct and buy in to. Plus, by the time they figure it out it can often be too late. On the flip side, I don't know if they need detailed descriptions of sexual acts in the classroom. I would hope there would be more of a focus on responsibility, safety and self-respect. Just because some of these things are possible doesn't mean you have to partake. What about the emotional aspect of sex? The social? The life altering (or ending) consequences?
I have been thinking about this quite a bit since learning that my guy has a "girlfriend". Innocent enough, right? But after seeing them give a little hug in the schoolyard I realized that, soon enough, my son will be dealing with raging hormones and I want him to be prepared. I want to talk to him and prepare him before it happens so he can make responsible decisions while respecting himself and his partner. That I can do.
What about you? Do you plan on talking about sex at home with your children? What do you think about the new sex education curriculum? Share in the comments below.
Want to know how they approach sex ed in other provinces? Click here. Other countries? Click here.
I'm all for being open about sex. Man, woman, penis, vagina. Gay sex - yup, men can have sex with men and women with women. When it comes to the sex "grey area" like oral, anal, backwards, forwards - that's not something I believe you need to do right away. If they discover oral with a partner, they don't need an explaination from me. As for anal, let them learn about that by themselves. Do they need me to say that there are different ways to have sex, sure. I don't need to give them all the patterns. Like drinking - I don't need to tell them how to make a Cosmo. Once they start having sex, the different computations will come to them naturally. Just because you are letting them walk to the corner store doesn't mean they have to take on the subway at the same time - gradual steps. On the flip side, if I told my 12 year old son what anal was, he would be so grossed out, he probably would never do it.
Hey Jen - can't wait to read all the comments because I think it's going to make for some interesting debate. I'm in full agreement with Marianne. I do actually like that they are going to introduce same sex relationships in Grade three. I think there are alot of parents out there who are uncomfortable with concept and likely would never then talk to their kids about it. By starting so young, hopefully, for those kids who aren't aware of it or who are given negative attitudes about it at home - it can be a direction changer.
Oooooh, I'm making popcorn and pulling up a front row seat because I think the discussion's going to be interesting on this one. I'm doing as much reading as I can about the new curriculum, because I do want to stay one step ahead with the discussions we have at home. While I have no qualms about entrusting my kids teachers to teach about science, math and language, there are grey areas (not just sex ed, I can think of discussions we've had about social issues, religion, etc.)where values come into play and we as parents we want to be provide the primary guidance. This parenting gig just gets trickier and tricker!
I'm surpised they wait until Grade 3 to talk about same-sex relationships. My 5 year old already knows 2 children who have two mommies. Last year she told me her friend couldn't come to our Christmas party "because her mom and her step-mom were getting married".
to me, sex ed isn't just about "insert penis here". teaching younger kids about their respective "areas" is a step in the right direction to preventing sexual abuse, IMO. when i think about it, if someone (god forbid) ever tried anything with my 7 year old i'm not sure what she would do, if she would tell, etc.
the parents should be the ones talking to their children...but are they (we?) i'm pretty open about everything but i have just admitted to not broaching the subject with my kids.
wait a minute....i'm listening to cbc and mcguinty is about to do an about face....wait for the news.....
I have had the "how babies are made" conversation my my 9yr old. He was 8 at the time and inside I was dying. Outwardly I gave him very matter of fact answers that were true and basic. It stemmed from the question "Why did Daddy get an operation on his nutters?" (yep - he calls them nutters, but knows it's a scrotum)
That was just the basics but gave him everything he needed to know. I think he was a little grossed out, actually.
I think we're open enough with the kids that they will ask us questions as they come up. So far they've asked and we've answered.
We always answer them honestly and without judgement. We've had conversations about what gay/lesbian is. Different types of families...
But maybe I'm naive to think that we are open enough that he will ask us...
There are a few kids that I know I DO NOT want him getting info from.
If it's part of the curriculum, I can just see them getting silly and inappropriate with the information after the class was over...
I think I'd want the info coming from home. I don't know that we'd be able to have a conversation about what he learned at school that day. Whereas if we discussed it at home - there would a dialogue that we would all be involved in from the beginning.
There were a bunch of girls in my middle school that were having sex and getting pregnancy tests at the free clinic.
And pretty much everyone I knew was having sex in high school.
I'm curious as to how I'll feel when it's my daughter (now 3) who is coming up to the age where we need to discuss.
How different is our approach to sex ed when when it comes to educating our boys vs girls?
This is a tense subject for many. And rightfully so: It involves our children.
While there are a few things that could probably be left until a little later on (anal intercourse, for example), I do feel that kids should learn about sexuality and self-respect (with emphasis on self-respect) earlier these days.
We live in a world where sex hits us from all angles and kids are not immune to the bombardment of sexual references, images and more. Kids are also hitting puberty sooner. This means as responsible parents, we need to be open with our kids about it or they'll learn it from peers and on the fly. (both often resulting in less than ideal outcomes)
I used to work for Planned Parenthood (now called Canadian Federation of Sexual Health) and experienced threats from people who thought we were out to destroy young people by filling their heads with sexual nonsense. In fact, the media is doing a fine job of putting sex in front of young people. Better that our kids have an unbiased and informed understanding of things (less curiosity) and, most importantly, that self-respect and confidence that will allow them to experience intimacy on their own terms and not thrust upon them by peers and/or others.
We should remember that we all did just fine knowing very little. I wasn't taught anything in school and felt my way through it. Sex is something inate and if we muck it up with all this conversation, the kids will not know what to think.
I don't know, Marianne. We all did fine without car seats, breathing in second hand smoke and with our pregnant mothers drinking cocktails...doesn't make it right, and doesn't mean we as parents don't try to make things different for our own kids. I'm of the mind that conversation is always healthy and I'd rather my kids be asking me questions than "feeling their way through it" at this point.
Well... good morning! Already I feel the need to pour myself a really BIG glass of wine. *sigh* I need to think on this a bit. It is a difficult subject.
Big question: How do you discuss male homosexual relationships with out opening the door to a discussion on anal intercourse. I mean eventually the question has to come up right?
And BTW ladies... as you begin to delve into these discussions you will be very surprised from time to time by what your lovely young children have already figured out on the bus and on the swing set. You'll also be occasionally surprised to find that some of the information they have is wrong!
BTW CynthiaK I'm a big Planned Parenthood supporter! Used them for years in the US when I did not have insurance and kept using them when I did. They provide quality care! Lots of people don't know this but... they can also help you GET pregnant! (When you are ready to course!)
Sitting on the fence on this one. I want my kids to get the info from me, and they do and we have been open from the beginning about sex and how babies are made. We have always believed that if they ask a question, they are ready for the answer. They are learning that the truth in everything comes with responsibility. It is easier to be honest and let them direct US on how much they are ready to learn.
So they know about homosexuality because my brother is gay and because the topic came up. The thought of my brother kissing his partner grossed them out for a moment (ages 7 and 5 at the time), but then they said it was really only gross cause my brother wasn't in LOVE with his partner yet, so why would you kiss???
I know many kids aren't getting any info on this topic at home, so getting it at school is important. However, I know this sounds like teacher-bashing but as a former teacher I will let it go here....many teachers I have encountered are doing a pathetic job at teaching reading and writing, so I fear the disasterous results that can come from their new sex ed lessons. Too bad the Premier shelved the issue as I was dying to see how my kids' Catholic school was going to handle it.
Although I not opposed to this info being presented to my child when the time comes, like Annabelle, I am hesitant about the training and success of the teachers who have to deliver it. Unfortunately, those kids who they feel the need to address, the ones not being exposed at home, are likely to have questions and confusion, and with there are already so many restrictions as to how teachers answer questions regarding religion and politics, I can just imagine the guidlines that will be set forth on this topic. So now we will have children introduced to topics they don't fully understand, without anyone to provide further clarification on it.
And although they are teaching methods of contraception, I don't think there is enough focus on STD's. It is a topic that is mentioned but never reinforced. I remember watching the video of a woman in delivery in 8th grade. I am still scarred. Yet there was discussion of STD's but never any imagery and I feel with the adolescent group imagery goes a long way. I think if kids were shown images of herpes, crabs and other STD's that would reinforce the use of condoms, because there are too many young girls on the pill, and therefore not using condoms for intercourse or oral or any other type of sex.
In the end, I think I'm going to try and introduce the topic of sex at home and through other community organizations that specialize in this topic.
I can understand covering the basics as kids are becoming sexually active at a younger age, but anal intercourse is too far!
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