I have been blogging a lot lately about kids in sports from my perspective as a parent. But what about my kids? Why do they play? Why do they want to participate in competitive sports? Why do they push themselves so hard? Is there a downside? So, I decided to interview my kids. It's funny because we have never really talked about competitive sports in general. We never planned to be here either. It just kind of happened. My younger one, my girl, is just now starting to follow in her brother's footsteps and venturing into the competitive side of sports. How does she see all of this? Read on to find out.
Why do you participate in competitive sports?
My son (10+ y/o): Because it's fun! I love sports plus I get to meet a lot of friends and hang out with them and we get to go on tournaments.
My daughter (7.5 y/o): The playing. I like sports. I like running really hard.
What don't you like about competitive sports?
My son: Sometimes it gets really intense and I get nervous. I feel like, if it is a tie or something, that I am going to let our team down. Even when I am running competitively I feel a lot of pressure.
My daughter: I don't like practicing as much as the games.
What is your best memory of playing sports?My son: Coming in second in the city of Toronto at cross country. I also loved going to the hockey tournament in Ottawa when we got Beaver Tails and had so much fun at New Years.
My daughter: At the soccer tryouts when I scored 6 goals.
What do you think of the parents while you're playing?
My son: There are some parents that go too far but most of the time it is good. I like it when the parents cheer.
My daughter: I like how they cheer me on. It helps me to make more powerful shots {in soccer}.
Do you ever wish you didn't play competitive sports?
My son: Sometimes before a race {cross country/track} because I get really nervous. But I get really bored when I don't have some sports and I don't see my friends.
My daughter: Once I didn't want to leave my friend's house early to go to a practice. But I would NEVER want to give up sports!
Would you ever want to play just recreationally?
My son: I already do play some sports recreationally. You can't play everything competitively. There isn't enough time. I just love all sports so I like to play pretty much everything.
My daughter: I do already but I am excited about playing really hard like I have to on a rep team.
Do you think that one day you might be a professional athlete or compete at something like the Olympics?My son: I would like to but you have to be really good and really dedicated. I will just play and see what happens. I may work in sports in some other way.
My daughter: Yes!
Do you ever feel that Mommy and Daddy put pressure on you in sports?
My son: No. You guys make me feel better when I am nervous.
My daughter: What does that mean? {I explain} No. Why would you do that?
As you can imagine, this conversation opened up a whole bunch of other things from being a good sport to competing in other areas of life to how fortunate my kids are. From this, I believe, my kids have a healthy perspective and are getting mostly good things from their experience in sports.
But I'd like to hear from you. What do your kids think? Why would you pull them out or why would they want to stop? I know lots of kids (including myself as a child) who are not athletes or not into competitive sports. Do you think there is value in encouraging this even if they are not keen? I would love to hear from you!
The Your Biggest Fan Blog Series is sponsored by Chevrolet. All content is true, based on Jen's personal experience.
Great post!! I have a lot that I could say on this topic so I will try to stay on track.
Before I start I should say that I come from a background as a Youth Fitness Specialist and worked with young athletes for over 5 years. On top of that my fiancée is the founder and CEO of The International Youth Conditioning Association (IYCA) so this topic is something that I both know about and am surrounded with on a daily basis.
I have to start by saying "good for you" for actually talking to your kids about how they feel about competitive sports. All too often parents enroll their kids in sports because it is what THEY want for the kids and not what the kids really want.
The fact that you sat down and had a really honest conversation with them about it speaks volumes. Your kids obviously don't feel pressured to play competitively and really do enjoy it.
However the all too often that is not the case. Many kids are forced by their parents to participate in sports that they do not want to play. Parents live out their dreams through the kids. i have heard many horror stories that would leave your mouth gapping if I were to recount them.
I think that your kids hit on a major point...that most adults/parents forget. Kids want to PLAY!!! That's really it! Kids want to move and be active, they don't really care what form that comes in.
If we as parents keep that as our main objective it would be so beneficial to the kids.
From a developmental standpoint kids should experience as many possible "sports" as they can at a young age to lead to ideal motor development. A year for a child could be hockey in the winter, baseball in the spring, soccer in the summer and gymnastic in the fall. This leads to a very physically apt young person!
I could literally go on forever but I won't I will stop here.
I think all parents should have two thoughts in mind when it comes to sports...
1. AM i giving my child a choice?
2. Is my child having fun?
This would lead to a much more "friendly" world of competitive sports for kids.
Again...great topic...great post and kudos to you for asking/listening to your kids!
Jen, great post and Carrie, great comment!
I think the most important thread in all of this is that the kids' needs and wishes come first. I know how much your kids love being in sports, and you guys as parents are always mindful of their best interests. Is it too much for the child? For the family? Are the kids having fun? Is it what they want? These are the questions you're always asking. And THAT'S what makes it good for your kids.
Just this weekend I took my girls horseback riding. It was love at first sight, and I think we've finally found something (after trying ballet, tap, hip-hop, soccer and more) that Charlotte loves in that way. The interesting part was that after we got back, her Dad said, "you sure are lucky...when I was your age, I was being forced to learn badminton". Case in point. Some kids don't get to pursue the activities THEY are interested in. And that's not fair.
Nice blog. Loved your children's answers.
Over the years, I as a youth sports expert, I have had an opportunity to ask hundreds of kids about what they want to get out of sports, and the vast majority will say competitive games in which everyone plays and has fun. Given a choice between fun and winning, most would say having fun. They would rather play on a losing team than sit on the bench of a winning team.
Believe it or not, this attitude persists through high school, where you would think that kids would begin to value winning over playing. Three out of four high school athletes, regardless of gender, would still prefer to play and lose than sit and win (although twice as many boys than girls said winning was essential for an enjoyable sports experience.
Children aren't born competing; it's something they learn. The best thing we can do for our kids, as parents and coaches, is to keep the amount of competition in youth sports from becoming excessive, to make having fun and learning the sport as important, if not more important than winning, especially for younger children. They will have a lifetime of competition soon enough.
Brooke de Lench
Author: HOME TEAM ADVANTAGE: The Critical Role of Mothers in Youth Sports (Harper Collins)
Hey, absolutlty love the blog and will definatley be coming back in the near future!
Hey Jen, nice interview. Did you see the article in the paper today. It was either the post or star (??) That interview could be someone we know very well. Cute 11 year old. This is the downside to competitve sports. Even this cute 11 year old recognized himself in the picture caption. Very Interesting!!!!
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