The death of a mother is the first sorrow wept without her. ~ Anonymous
It will be one year this weekend since I said goodbye, since I held her hand, since I saw her face. It will be one year since I leaned on her, since I cried on her shoulder, since I had my best-friend. It will be one year since she saw my children, since she laughed, since she smiled at my dad. It will be one year this weekend since there were fireworks.
The woman.
The grandmother.
My mom.
I'm coming up on this myself. HEART-HUG.
I am sorry for you loss, I lost my Mom and best friend two years ago. Still hurts everyday.
Hugs
HUGS. I'll be thinking of all of you this weekend. Love Erin
{{HUGS}}
So sad for you. Sending many hugs.
Hugs. I'm thinking of you and your sisters.
So sorry to hear that Jen. Thinking of you and expect a big hug next time I see you. xo
I'm thinking of you my friend. Funny last night I just could not settle in to sleep... I kept thinking about my mom... Every time I closed my eyes it was a different memory. I was remembering the strangest little details of my childhood home, the meals mom cooked, where and how she sat when watching TV, how she washed her hair int he kitchen sink... It was almost like she was haunting me.
Oh! You're so lucky, Anne! I would love if she "haunted" me. She feels so far away. Like a distant memory.
Jen, I know. She feels very far away from me now, too. Almost like I imagined her. I need to have another dream about her to make her feel real again. *sob*
Anniversaries are hard, but sometimes just your average Tuesday can be hard when we are mourning someone so special. My mom came to me just last week in a dream, I could smell her skin, she told me she was proud of me, she told me she watches my kids, she told me my dad was doing ok. It was so beautiful to think of it all day and also so utterly painful to then spend the day knowing it was a dream. Sometimes those visits are hard.
Your so right Annabelle. The dreams or visits are bittersweet.
I've lost both my parents and I love and hate those dreams I have that they are still with me. The worst is when you wake up and know it was only a dream. I try to remember the feelings from the dreams and that does help
What beautiful pictures Jen. I really think as time goes forward, you will feel the 'haunting'. I personally think that for the first while, they distance themselves for you to come to figure out how to be you...the woman without the physical prescence of a mom. She'll come back to you once you've figured it out (this sounds so, so hokey I know but I think it's true). Now, I have weird experiences where I can physically feel her around me - not oftne but I do. I remember being at my grandmothers once and sitting there for an extra few hours because I could feel her all over me in the room. I was overcome in Ottawa by a memory this weekend of where we saw Lady Diana together and it was so happy and not bittersweet - It will be 10 years for me this year - 1/4 of my life without her. Hang in there - you've made it through the toughest year.