Up until a few weeks ago I had put very little thought into turning The Big 4-0. Most of my close friends had celebrated this milestone in the last few years and I have never really been one to worry much about aging. Mostly, I feel grateful. I am happy, successful and healthy as I enter this next stage of my life in 3 short weeks. But over the last little while there have been a few other thoughts lingering and bubbling to the surface and I am beginning to wonder if I am really all that fine with 40 after all.
5 Thoughts On Turning 40:
- My Sisters - This seems like a weird thing to be worrying about at 40 but, be patient with me. I am one of three sisters and we are extremely close. My sisters are my closest friends and when I thought about myself all grown up with a family I pictured us together. I pictured our kids growing up seeing each other every Sunday for family dinner. I pictured us vacationing together, renting a cottage or exploring beach resorts. I imagined our kids as best buddies and us watching contentedly as these built-in friendships flourished. I always thought we would live in the same city.
- My Mom - Obviously I miss my mom. I really miss her. Especially now. But more than that I can't help thinking about her as I approach this milestone. I remember when she turned 40 and everyone joked that she was "middle aged" and commented that the "second half" of her life had now begun and it was all downhill from here. Of course we had no idea that she had, in fact, already lived nearly 2/3 of her life and that, for her, middle age had happened years before. That scares me. I don't want that to be me.
- My Future - I don't want this to sound all mid-life-crisis-y or anything but I know it probably does. As I approach 40 I can't help but think, "is this it?" I mean this mostly on a professional, learning level. I can't help but wonder whether there is more out there for me and I am missing it because I'm not looking in the right place. Because I am so immersed in here & now. I know I have so much more to experience. I know I have so many more places to visit. I envision many more adventures in my future. What else is out there for me?
- Myself - I often think about how much I have changed in the last 5, 10, 20 years. And I am assuming that, looking back in another 5, 10 or 20, I will feel the same way. But now that I am older I know that I will be changing. Unlike the arrogance of youth, I don't believe I know everything, I want to learn and grow. So, I think about how I can set myself up for these new learning experiences and growth opportunities. I don't want the opportunities to pass me by.
- Fear & Excitement - This is probably the most unexpected. Sometimes I am afraid. I spent my early adulthood fantasizing about and then living marriage and parenthood but I never spent any time thinking about what comes next. I just never looked that far ahead. So, it is like this big abyss, this blank slate, and that is overwhelming. But, at the same time, it is exciting. It is full of potential and promise. It could be anything I want it to be. Again, overwhelming.
Lovely woman... what a great post!! You make me all misty-eyed. But indeed, ready or not... you will rock 40, Jen. And all the years that follow - I just know it. As the trunk salesman in Joe Versus the Volcano said, "May you live to be a thousand years old."
To health and continued happiness, m'lady!! I will drink a bottle in your honor! (Oops, I mean glass... okay, I mean bottle.) YAY!!! xoxoxoxox
Welcome to the club! And I hate to say it, but I don't think any of us are ready. But since we don't have any choice just embrace and enjoy it. Good bye the arrogance of youth. Hello to the knowledge that we will continue to learn and grow. And hopefully this means we won't repeat the sins of youth - especially the crazy fashion ones!
I'll join Tracey in that bottle!!! Welcome to 40 - the view from here really is amazing. I share many of your thoughts that you listed above....especially about your mom. I so remember my mom's 40th bday party and can't believe that I am that age. It's bizarre to me. And bizarre that she only had another 19 when she should have had another 60 (all the women in her family were 100+). But as you know all too well, things can happen quickly and crazily for the worse OR for the better. We just have to hang on tight for the ride. xx
Jen- excellent post- I turned 48 in January and my forties have been my best decade and I suspect yours as well. Especially with that great attitude, drive and sense of humour.
YAY. Drinks asap, ok.
Is this it? For now it is, so hold your arms wide and embrace the life, love, family & friends you have. From where I stand, it's looking pretty good!
One of my favourite authors, LM Montgomery, used to write 10 year letters to herself. Wouldn't it have been great to see what your 30 year old self had to say?
What a fabulous idea! I have this blog, I guess, to show where I am and what I am thinking. I am sure I will continue to look back and read old posts.
Live in the now. You are so right, Racheal.
You are such a lovely writer, and I'm crying now! I'm turning 40 next March, and can relate to much of your concerns and feelings. Congratulations on ALL you've accomplished. I admire your seemingly effortless balance of life, work and self. You've created a beautiful personal and professional world around your dynamic, caring persona, and that has touched so many of us in such a positive way. Cheers!
My comment was deleted by my daughter...hopefully I can write as eloquently again...
Jen, I've known you for all of your almost 40 years. I admire and love you very much. I think you are awesome. And you will rock your 40s.
I so understand your dream to grow up with your sisters in the same city and the cousins all together. That's how we grew up and it was amazing. We are so lucky to have such amazing siblings and cousins.
I was so happy that you were there to share my 40th and I would like to celebrate yours with you. I'm in on that bottle (except, you know, we can't share because we all have different tastes in wine I'm sure).
Carpe Diem. And Happy Birthday in advance. Only 20 more days. : )
XO to all of you with your wonderful Bday wishes! And if we can't share a glass IRL, we'll have to do it virtually. 40 here I come!
I just turned 40 March 4th. Thank you for the uplifting article. My mom told me I was in my next phase of life. Not really getting that comment but I feel alot like 39 still..lol
As I get older I experience more and more wonderful memories and just hope I feel the same way when I am in my "golden age"..whatever that will feel like :).
To everyone who turns 40 this year..Happy Birthday and I raise my glass to you!
Bah - 40 -I remember 40....I'd be lying if I said getting older doesn't suck in many ways, but I can tell you this - my 40's have been my best decade yet. I found a new career, new accomplishments, new friends (including you:), and mostly I found who I really wanted to be when I (sigh) grew up. Happy Birthday Jen - 40 looks awesome on you. (In about TWO years I'm leaving this decade, so also? Wah wah wah!)
Thanks for the Bday wishes, Kathy. You are one of the hottest 40+ ladies I know!
happy birthday! 40 certainly doesn't mean the same thing as it did when our parents were 40. it's true, youth is wasted on the young! i would love to travel back in time with my 40 year old brain....just to see what would be different. but to that, it's our foibles and mistakes that we made in those crazy mixed up years that make us the great women we are now.
we are so much wiser!
You guys bring new meaning to the term "bully pulpit" spend less time being combative/hostile and more time being informative.
Um, are you reading the same post as the rest of us here?