I am a huge fan of Pop Culture. I find it fascinating to watch the evolution of what is "in" and watch it, these days especially, very quickly move to being "out". I love movies and TV and all sorts of communication but one of my biggest interests when it comes to pop culture is music.
When I was a kid my parents were not fans of Pop(ular) music. My dad was a huge classical music buff and still is. My mom held a more mom-like interest in the songstress Anne Murray and the warblings of Placido Domingo and John Denver (remember Perhaps Love? Still reminds me...) My sisters and I, on the other hand, fully immersed ourselves in everything from David Bowie all the way back to his Ziggy Stardust days and Billy Idol at his peak to Michael Jackson (I figure I don't need to link to him!), WHAM and Duran Duran to name just a few. We also listened to CCR, the Grateful Dead, Steve Miller Band, Van Morrison, and others. As students of pop culture we ate it all up!
Duran Duran's Rio Video.
And I am still a fanatic, taking my kids to see the Justin Bieber movie, downloading everything including the explicit Cee Lo Green F*&% You and Lady Gaga, Train, Drake, PINK, Adele, Emminem, Linkin Park, Mumford & Sons just to name a few.
But something in Pop Culture is seriously wrong. Recently I have been spending a lot of time at the gym in my quest for Fit By 40 (I have about 4 weeks to make this happen...). And in my time sweating on the treadmill and lifting weights I have been seeking motivation by watching MuchMusic. Dudes, I am no prude but COME ON. These are not music videos they are pornos.
Yup, it's Miley.
With songs like Enrique Iglasius' "Tonight I'm Loving You" (actually called "Tonight I'm F'ing You" which is MORE than obvious in the music video), Rihanna's catchy but disturbing tune "S&M" (why? WHY? This song forced me to face the question, "what does sex smell like anyway, mom" from my 11 year-old), and Avril Lavigne's "What the Hell" among many, many others accompanied by the constant bumping, grinding, arm candy and girly bits everywhere in most music videos I worry about the impact it is having on my children's perception of themselves as sexual beings and sex itself.
Ludicris and his women. Where's the self-respect?
In fact, I have said many times recently to my nearly 12 year-old son, "you do realize this is not real life." I have been forced to make statements about respect and love and pleasure and self-confidence all the while pining for the days when all my mom was forced to discuss with my 11 year-old self were periods and B.O. Or when I was a teenager and had to explain to my mom what the song "Hungry Like a Wolf" by Duran Duran was really about and that the girl in it was not actually yelling "MOM!". Still makes me snicker.
These things were subtle, not in your face. The message was in there but it was not spelled out. If you didn't "get it" it was because you shouldn't...or you were my mom ;)
Enrique and his half-naked groupies. This is what our kids look up to?!
I know that Pop Culture is unavoidable so I keep the lines of communication open but, come on, is this really what we have become? Are we completely irresponsible? Are we blind to what this type of lifestyle is doing to the very same young people who promote it? Are we OK with our children, our future, being numb to these graphic sexual images and thinking that this mixed with fast cars and lots of money will make them happy? I am a pretty easy-going mom but I know I am not.
I am curious, am I the only one? What do you think about Pop Culture's influence on our kids?
Unlike you, I haven't kept up and don't watch music videos but the message is everywhere. In my class we analyzed the Axe Chocolate Man ad which has partially dressed women licking and eating the chocolate man everywhere he goes.
I think that the media in general, or should I say advertising and pop culture media, are really doing a disservice to our youth. We already know what the images do to their sense of self physically and sexually, and it's not good. So why do we keep on accepting it?
AT my book club meeting last week our conversation turned to young girls and what happens to them when they turn 13 (not all of course). We were talking about how girls who are so confident and full of dreams and goals, suddenly turn "stupid". By that I mean acting stupid to impress boys and doing stupid things to impress them. We lamenting how BJs are the new kissing and the hook up culture at universities. Sigh.
As for boys, I'm sure the pressure is there also, although I'm not as tuned into it being a woman and not having sons.
I think you are right to keep the communication open but it's not enough. Somehow, we have to let the music industry and the advertising industry that this is not acceptable. That means talking with our wallets. But maybe we are a minority and that will never happen. In the meantime, all we can do is have those conversations.
So how did you describe the smell of sex?
There are very few questions that I don't answer frankly and honestly. I thought for a bit about how to answer the question about the "smell of sex" and decided it was not somewhere I needed to go with an 11 y/o. What I said was, "When you are older you will figure this out for yourself. Some of these things are private." He accepted that but did ask, "Then why is Rihanna singing about it?" EXACTLY.
After our initial discussion a few years ago on the actual mechanics of sex (when I was hoping I would get swallowed up by a black hole) he asked, "why would someone even want to do that?!" My response then was similar, "One day you will wake up and go 'Now I get it!'" There are some things he will just figure out on his own!
I was going to ask what Erin did...how in gods name did you handle that one??
You're so right Jen. Last night I tweeted that American Ido had turned into stripper karaoke. All these girls who looked sweet in the tryouts were tarted up and looking like hookers once the stylists got hold of them.
I think I'm trying to keep myself in the dark for a few more years until Will gets older and keep hoping there will be a return to where the cool girls are hippys and wear long flowing skirts and flipflops because I just have no IDEA how I'm going to handle the sexualization of kids these days.
I'm looking forward to reading the comments here.
my kids have also asked me about the "I love the smell of it..." song. You see...I don't really listen to mainstream pop all that much, but my kids know it. so when they come to me and sing lyrics to some of these songs, I DIE. I'm like...Rihanna is singing about WHAT?!?!?!?
When I was a kid...the most risque song lyrics were George Michael - I want your sex. It was SUCH a huge deal...and now it seems like nothing compared to what we see in videos and on tv and hear in songs. I mean, George Michael's ass shaking was fully clothed, yanno? Times CERTAINLY have changed, eh?
i've often wondered if i have become an old curmudgeon or what. elvis was shocking in his day. but, you're right....it is borderline porn! i miss the videos of the 80's. although, does anyone remember that laura brannigan video where she's taken underground into some strange sex club? to me, that was shocking. i youtubed it and it kinda still is!
i wish we celebrated talent like we used to.
What youre saying is completely true. I know that everybody must say the same thing, but I just think that you put it in a way that everyone can understand. I also love the images you put in here. They fit so well with what youre trying to say. Im sure youll reach so many people with what youve got to say.