I just wrote about this:
http://www.curvygirlguide.com/motherhood/its-all-in-the-genes-a-tale-of-the-pre-pre-teenage-girl/

Wow. Powerful.
My stomach turned when the guy said "Besides the PMS and mood swings?"
What the...?

It wasn't until I had a daughter that I really considered my words around my kids. I have always had issues with my body. I have always been vocal about them. I have tried to curb it and be proud of myself. This body gave me 3 babies - it's pretty darn good.
I also try not to use words that describe her physically. "You're so pretty!" "You're beautiful!"
I try and tell her the things I like about her - I love the way she sings. I love how helpful she is. I'm proud of her for learning how to read. She's draws beautiful pictures...
Not that I don't do the same with my boys, but I think the biggest thing we can do for them is have Sean be a good role model as a man. And he is. He really is.
Parenting sure is tough...

oh christine...i am so with you there. i can't believe (well, i guess i can) someone said that on national television. i could even hear snickering, i swear!

women seriously need to run things now.

Thanks for posting this. This is an issue I think about constantly. I want my daughter to feel beautiful and strong and to love herself unconditionally. We've started to have issues with my 8 yo daughter this year as well. Her classmates are already calorie counting and have begun the "fat" discussions. These topics don't exist in our house and I'm so upset that she is being exposed to these ideas at all, but especially at such a young age! This video is wonderful, I'm going to share it with my friends and start the dialogue too. I'll let you know what we come up with! I will say that I do believe that as mothers we are very powerful role models so how we treat ourselves is how our girls will learn to treat themselves. We need remember that our girls will do as we DO, not do as we SAY - so ultimately, we have to walk the talk. I try to show my daughter that I have confidence and acceptance in who I am and I try to treat myself with love and respect in the hopes that she will model that behavior too.

Well, Jen, now you know why my girl still prefers to hang out with the boys. I can always tell when the girl stuff gets to be too much — all the names I hear out of her mouth are her male friends. This one is a real struggle for me, though I am always grateful that in our house, weight is not discussed. Even her older brother doesn't pick on her for that. At the same time, I hear these offensive commercials (have you heard the current one for St. Louis Bar and Grill — how the guy likes to take his wife there because she can talk all she wants and he can't hear her over the crunch of his chicken sandwich?) and I think "how are we ever, ever going to have girls and women overcome their feeling of being small and worthless, whiny, something to be endured?" I look forward to your research and to thinking myself about how we can make changes. For starters, when that film comes out, it would be great if urban moms could arrange a mother-daughter viewing of the film with a really solid speaker for Q and A after.

YIKES
pervasive poison

I have this small girl in my house now, and I have no idea what to do with her... le sigh.

This documentary looks terrific - I can't wait to watch it!

I'm sorry to hear that you're daughter is feeling insecure about her body size even though she looks fit and healthy, especially at a very young age. I would suggest to cut down on television time especially on MTV or any music related videos that show women as sex objects. Also tell her to that many aspects of advertisements on television, radio, magazine, and the internet are very exaggerated. Just tell her that movies, videos, and pictures are simply to promote products for consumers. You might also consider asking her what does a fat person look like and what is wrong with being fat?

I'll be interested to see that film, and to see what you come up with.

The women at my book club were discussing girls and young women at our last meeting. It seems that in many ways, nothing has changed with the feminism. Of course, a lot has, but a lot hasn't. Like girls/women being all about impressing men with their looks. Sigh.

The media does play a huge role. I'm desperately trying to educate my grade 7s & 8s about this and I think some of them see it. And some don't, or don't want to. Interestingly, the ones who see it are the brainy girls,not that they aren't all smart, but it's the girls who work hard in school and really want to get good marks and don't buy their headbands from lululemon who are saying no to that. Although, I don't know what their internal dialogue is. They could very well be internalizing it.

It's sad to see these girls fawning over boys and acting stupid and some getting into sexual relationships too young.

This post also begs the question, why is fat so bad anyway? I mean obviously obesity is unhealthy, but why did we decide that extra pounds are ugly and a sign of weakness? It's horrible. All the judgment.

We need to teach them not to be so judgmental as well.

The change has to come from the consumer, we talk with our wallets and we need to stop buying fashion mags with skinny models, stop watching shows and movies that feature this ideal, speak out more, etc.

I'm rambling here, obviously I need to organize my thoughts a little more. I'm looking forward to more posts on this topic and maybe I'll write a few of my own too.

Wow Jen - what a thought provoking post - that documentary looks incredible and I love the idea of mother/daughter viewing - but I'd also include women like me who are raising sons....because SOMEONE had a son and raised him to think it was okay to joke about PMS in the white house. I think it's up to both parents of sons and daughters...it has to change every where. My biggest goal is to raise a son who is respectful of all genders, races, sexual orientations..... I can't wait to see that movie.

Totally agree with Sarah! Rather than arranging mother/daughter viewings we should be arranging father/son viewings! As a dad of 2 young girls (9 and 12), some of the comments in that movie from men just make me want to throw my hands up in despair.

I do think to a certain extent it's a generational thing and things (I hope) are improving, but we really need to work on the young kids (both boys and girls) to encourage the view that we are all equally capable. Even now, I get the impression that a lot of boys in my daughters grade 4 class think girls are not capable when it comes to things like soccer, technology etc. It doesn't help that the girls think the boys are all from a different planet either but...

Regarding the self image thing, we've had similar comments like 'I'm getting fat' from our 9 year old athlete who also has a better six pack than I've ever had or will have. Not sure where it comes from. We like to encourage healthy eating and lots of exercise but we've always stressed that beauty comes from within. What to do ...

To add to my earlier comment... I am also the parent of a son. And we have tried to teach him from a very young age that he as a human also has a responsibility to be respectful of girls and women, and of course respectful of himself. I think my biggest job as the mother of a son is to make the world better for girls through the boys who interact with them (and this would be regardless of whether one's son is heterosexual or not — in their formative years they may not yet know their sexuality, and they will interact with girls in the ways that have become traditional and accepted in society). He is now nearly 15 but we talk about this topic all the time. So I agree with Z-dad that a viewing for everyone is an even better idea than my initial idea! It may be that a lot of boys don't understand that their attitudes can make a difference in society, too.