Dear Mom,
This past weekend I babysat your two youngest grandchildren. It's funny, the anniversary of your death passed just a few short weeks ago and I thought about you that day but from a distant place. This weekend my heart ached for you.
If you were alive it would have been you babysitting. But, of course it, wasn't.
You would have soaked in the smell of these little lovelies. As you held baby Sam and shushed him off to sleep you would have nuzzled his neck just like I did and smiled secretly at his baby smell.
You would have splashed in the water with Emma at the park. Chasing her chubby little girl body just like I did and then stopped in a fit of tickles and giggles when you caught her. You would have oohed and ahhed at her climbing and cheered at her creative dancing.
And you would have held those babies when they cried in that special Gramma way that fixes every booboo. You would have patiently dealt with crocodile tears induced by a big sister. And you would have watched proudly and lovingly as my daughter, the Big Girl, played and cared for her two baby cousins.
You would have been there. You should have been there. And they should have known you and grown up with you. And you should have known them.
This weekend there was a great big gaping hole where you should have been.
You are so missed.
Love always,
Jen
I think about my Mom everyday and this really hit home. My Mom should be here too....she is missing so much and I miss her so much everyday.
I often think of her and and think the same thing that you said...and I cry at the stupidist times, thinking that she would have loved seeing something!
*snap*
That was the sound of my heart breaking.
God, I miss her.
Hugs and love.
xoxo
Sending love your way, Jen. xox
she's there, although it's not the same as a real hug. i have always imagined my m.i.l. playing alongside my girls all of the time even when she was alive...she had MS and could never do that, much less give them a hug.
i have a feeling they will know her from the stories and pictures you will pass on to them to the way you interact with them..."my mom used to do this..."
big hugs to you all xo
Oh as I read this anxiety sets in, my Mom is still here but really ill now and thinking about her not in my life and reading your words makes my heart break and I just can't imagine not talking to her daily, asking her advice, and to never be loved unconditionally again a love only a mother can give. Hugs to all of you who have lost theirs and have the strength to talk about them with respect and love.
Jen - no words - you know that I know. It's unfair. The constant ache. xxx
Sigh.... yeah... I know....
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