Mom's The Word - A Blog by Jen Maier Founder of urbanmoms.ca

How Did It Happen?!

Six years ago today I became a mother for the second time. SIX YEARS?! How did that happen? Today it hit me - I don't have babies anymore. I knew this, really, but still, for some reason I guess I hadn't really processed it. It's funny because I spent my early adulthood and marriage planning to "have a family" but I didn't really think much past the baby part. I just saw myself as a mom with a baby. Maybe a toddler but not Big Kids. I guess it was because I would seem old then or it just seemed too far away.

But now here I am and it happened so fast. I found myself wondering today "so, what comes next?". I mean I obviously have a long way to go before I am an empty-nester but it got me thinking. With the baby thing long gone and the Big Kid thing in full swing I should be planning, right? But for what? Well, I started imagining myself traveling to all of these wonderful places I'd never been, sometimes with my hubby and sometimes with friends. I saw myself learning about far off cultures and cuisine and history. I imagined myself having time to focus on a more fit and relaxed me. This looked pretty sweet to me.

Then I imagined my home without my kids. I imagined my every day without them there. This was not so sweet. The good news is that it will be a while before I have to face this. And by the time I do I will be more ready. I will have plans and my kids will too.

So, now, after much thought, I can sit back and appreciate how time has slipped past barely noticed. And I know that it won't be the last time.

Happy Birthday my Big Girl!

This Is What I See

This Holiday Season is full of emotion. I can't seem to express all of this in words so I decided to try capturing it with my camera. This is pre-Christmas 2008 through my eyes:

Gramma's knitting class. What a patient woman!

So much excitement means sleepy, sleepy "girls".

Sunrise after snow.

The snow. Oh! The snow!

Crazy English Men jumping off high places.

Crazy English Man throwing snow at his pregnant wife (note to self: never, ever throw snowball at Crazy English Man).

Smiling faces.

Smiling toothless faces.

Smiling sunny faces.

Tobagganing fun!

Wrapping surprises.

Love. Always.

Peace.

Happy Holidays.

OK. Listen Up...

This is a conversation my daughter is currently having while playing with her friend:

Friend: OK, I'm going to be 16. My name is Lily and I'm older and taller.
Daughter: No. I'll be older but also smarter. You can be taller. My name's Ella.
Friend: No! I want to be smarter! You can be smaller and older then.
Daughter: No!! I said I was smarter! You can't be! You can be smaller and older or taller and younger. But I AM smarter.
Friend: How about we're both smart. Then you can be smaller but older?
Daughter: No way! I'm smarter. You just be whatever else but I'm smarter.
Friend: So I get to be taller AND older as long as you are smarter?
Daughter: Yah.
Friend: OK!

That's my girl. Oh, and by the way, my "little" girl just lost her first tooth. OK, OK. Yes, I pulled it out but still, it IS a milestone.

The Latest

It's funny, right now my life is completely focused on one thing - my mom. I am honestly having trouble focusing or even caring that much about anything else. It is amazing how things that seemed so important a few weeks ago suddenly just don't.

I think one person only has the emotional capacity to take on so much. There is limited space for this stuff or else you would go crazy or crawl under a rock or something. It would be overwhelming. That is how I feel. I am at maximum capacity so the rest just gets a more practical, less emotional response and a lot less of my time.

Take Halloween for example. Normally I am right into it. Maybe not as organized as some but this year it was a bit of an afterthought. We bought our candy the day of. My son's costume was thrown together the day before. We didn't even remember to light the jack-o-lantern or fire up the scary music. And you know what? It didn't make a bit of difference. The kids had a great time and I was not worried about any of it. The details just all seemed insignificant.

Here are a few pics (that I remembered to take just before the costumes came off!):

My daughter. What a unique kid. All of her pals are princesses and she was a meat-eating dinosaur. Gotta love that girl!

Yup. My sweet boy was a dead business man with a bullet hole in his head. There was a big trend in scary with his group this year.

So, lesson of the day? The details are far less important than you think. Thanks to my friends who fed me beer and made me feel welcome on Halloween night. Good friends make everything better.

Spreading the Cyber Love to My Kids

I am a freak for technology. I am seriously in love with my Blackberry. So when Best Buy got in touch and asked me about my kids and the internet I was happy to oblige.

I have a home-based office. I am at my computer a whole lot. My philosophy is, technology is awesome but only if you know how to use it. And who better to teach my kids about the internet than me.

I hear so many of my friends talking about how their kids want an email address or want to instant message or get on Facebook and they won't let them. They won't let them because they are scared. They are scared because they don't understand it. It is foreign and intimidating and they read somewhere, sometime that these things are bad.

Knowledge is power. So, I spend time with my kids online. We browse sites, research projects, and I moderate communications. I want them to be experts but I also want them to understand and respect what's out there.

Plus, if I need to, I can just look over my shoulder:

Nearly Killed by a Star Wars Bobble Head

Farewell to Summer

Is it me or does school seem to be starting extra early this year? I know, September 1st is a Monday so the long-weekend is early but still. I think because we had such rainy weather here in July and the last two weeks have been gorgeous (mid twenties and sunny) that I kinda feel like summer should be extended.

I had a fabulous summer with my kids and am really not ready to have them go back to school. I could use another week or two. I remember a few years ago when they were a bit younger and by mid-August I couldn't wait for school to start but now I'm going to really miss them!

Well, for our final hurrah my gang took full advantage of the beautiful weather and the last long-weekend before we hunker back down into the routine of school and hockey...and more hockey ;)

Here's how we spent our final weekend of summer. How about you?

Hot tubbing in the sunshine.

Going for a family run. Could my 5 year old have been more excited about being a part of it?!

Soccer with Dad.

Collecting wild flowers.

Crafts with Gramma. Note the wild flowers in the vase!

Crazy swinging.

18 holes of golf.

Badminton...

badminton...

and more badminton.

Farewell summer!

Video Podcast - Judging Other Moms

My daughter is intense and spirited but nothing could prepare me for her over-the-top tantrum the other day. And NOTHING could prepare me for the judgment I felt from another mom. Perspective and advice required on this one! (btw, in case you are wondering why there are two parts it is because I had a lot to say and couldn't fit it all on one podcast)

Part 1:

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Part 2:

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Subscribe to the Mom's The Word Podcasts here!

A Walk in the Park

Yesterday was a great day. I spent over 11 hours with 6 kids and a pal at Canada's Wonderland. A place I adored as a teenager. The rides, the thrills. I was a full-fledged roller coaster junkie. And now, so are my kids. My nearly 9 year old son (3 more days!) would go on anything. No fear. He LOVED Behemoth - Canada's fastest coaster with the largest vertical drop hitting 125km/h. My 5 1/2 year old would conquer anything her 44" would allow - Goaster Coaster, Silver Streak, Thunder Run.

Check out that first drop on Behemoth!

We walked and we walked. We stood - the line ups got pretty bad - and we stood. But we had the time of our lives!  Although I am not quite the coaster junkie I once was - spinning or loops are out of the question - I still loved the classic Mighty Canadian Minebuster. I had a ton of fun watching my kids and their pals enjoy something I loved myself and seeing the huge smiles as they conquered another ride made the outrageous entrance and food costs all worth it.

Lessons from the Mother of the Year

To my 5 year old daughter one's age is a direct reflection of their status. Height helps but age is key. In her camp group she knew everyone's age to the 1/2 or 3/4 year but could only identify one or two of the group by name. This weekend I had some insight into exactly why this is so important in her world.

We were lucky enough to be invited up for a few days to a friend's cottage in advance of my son staying with them for the week. The group of kids consisted of my 9 year old son, his 9 year old pal, the pal's 11 year old brother, a bunch of 10 - 12 year old girls from the cottage next door and my 5 (and a half) year old daughter. There were a few younger boys from the neighbouring cottage but they couldn't come over on their own so this was the core group. It was great to see my son get in their with the group for water fights, trampoline jumping, and tubing. However, my 5 year old struggled to keep up. The kids were pretty patient with her but, the truth is, she is just too small to do most of what they are doing.

A few times she could be lured away with promises of special Mommy or Daddy time but, for the most part, she just wanted to be a part of the gang. As we got into day 2 I started to get frustrated with her crying and whining when she couldn't keep up so, in true Mother of the Year form, I got upset. I didn't yell but I did threaten that if it didn't stop she would have to hang out with the grown-ups on the dock.

She looked at me with her big eyes, tears welling, and began to weep. Before she completely broke down she managed to squeak out "Please Mommy, I just want to be Big too." And then she fell apart. My heart sunk. It is so hard to always be the smallest. To always be the slowest. To be little. Her brother came over and gave her a hug and she and I decided it was time for the two of us to do some swimming...together. A little time for her to lead the way. For her to be the fastest. For her to be in charge.

I know that she pushes herself constantly to be Big but I guess I never thought how important it was to her to feel big or how obvious it was to her that she wasn't. In many ways she is so lucky to have a big brother but in the last few days I have had some insight into the pressure she feels and her struggle to fit in.

Baby Love

While my husband and I were on vacation in England and staying with my "little" sis and her hubby we attended a party at their place. Also in attendance was baby Cassandra. The first born to Keith and Angela she is a sweet and smiley little beauty who normally relaxes and zonks straight into sleep. Not so on the night we met. On this particular evening Cassie was up for a party. However, truth be told, the kid needed some sleep. By the time she would normally be sleeping she was putting up a bit of a fuss and Mom and Dad were at loose ends. Well, it was visiting Canadian "Aunt Jen" to the rescue! I was more than willing to take that squishy, cuddly, delicious little bundle into my arms.

My son was such a HORRIBLE sleeper and could NEVER relax (btw, at 9 he still has trouble) so I have had tons of practice. I am well versed on the rock and jiggle. It is not a smooth and gentle motion but a slightly hysterical, hypnotizing bouncing similar to a roller coaster or surfing excursion. Within minutes little Cassie was mesmerized and soon fast asleep.

Not surprising, this prompted jeers and questions from the crowd such as "So, when are you having #3?!" (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)  and "Watch out {hubby}! She has that look." To be honest with you I was a bit surprised. I was strangely unnerved by the fact that I just did not have that urge. I had no ache or secret craving for a new little bundle of my own.

I've done this twice before and my two are wonderful little people. I am really enjoying the fact that my kids and I can have a conversation and DO things together. I sometimes feel a bit nostalgic for the days of breastfeeding and lullabies but I really have no desire to start that all over again. And for some reason that really made me sad. So much of my young adulthood I have had that baby ache. My "plan" was always to have babies. Now that I've done that and am really done I feel a little nostalgic. A little at loose ends.

Maybe this is just part of the evolution of motherhood or womanhood or something. I'm not sure. But what I do know is that the ache is definitely gone because if ever I would have felt it again it would have been while snuggling and cuddling that beautiful little bundle.

A Girl Thing and Boys Who Cook

As those of you who read my blog know, my daughter is not a girlie-girl. She likes sports and skateboarding and spends most of her time trying to keep up with her nearly 9 year old brother and his friends. The truth is, I'm not an expert on girlie stuff either. I am a fool with make-up, I can't accessorize to save my life, and I would fail a quiz on the latest designers. But, I do like to dress up every now and then and I recently discovered, to everyone's surprise, that my rough-and-tumble daughter does too.

We were going out for a "fancy" dinner (to a real restaurant = not fast food) and my daughter insisted that we dress up. This is a girl who needs to be bribed to wear a skirt but this day she wanted her hair "done" and her nails painted. She picked out a dress and found some lip gloss. She was surprisingly into it and the two of us had a really good time.

Now, her attire didn't stop her from running and jumping but it did serve as a reminder to me. Nobody, including my little tomboy, is one dimensional. She is a complicated and complex creature and her influences are many and growing. I'm glad she doesn't conform and become a princess crazed girlie-girl but it is nice to see that she can be herself and feel comfortable in her skin in a variety of ways.

Most of you also know that my lack of stereotypical girliness extends to the kitchen. I hate to cook. I think my sister, who loves to cook and bake, got almost every one of those genes. So, imagine my surprise and joy when my son offered to MAKE DINNER! Yes, my 8 year old son sent me upstairs while he and his sister tended to the family meal. Honestly, my first reaction was to say "No way! You're too young. You can't do it." But they really wanted to try so I let them have a go at it. I was fully prepared for a disaster and a huge mess to clean but instead was summoned to a meal of toasted ham and cheese sandwiches with a side of carrot sticks on a beautifully set table and, get ready for this, a spotless kitchen! They actually cleaned as they cooked!

Plus, they were SO proud of themselves and their dad and I were amazed. I admit, I totally underestimated them. Sometimes I forget that they are growing up and it is important to let them try. And most of the time they are far more capable than I realize. And, what a great treat! A break for Mom and Dad and two very happy kids.

2 Nights in a Tent

Well folks, I did it. Yup. I slept 2 whole nights in a tent! A real tent in a real campground. And the second night it even rained. The strangest part is, I actually had a good time. As you can probably tell I was none too keen on the camping component of this visit to see my sister. Our trip to Calgary was going to have a 3 day detour to Dinosaur Provincial Park. The kids, as you can imagine, were deliriously excited.

I, in case you didn't know, am a hotel kinda gal. I don't do camping. I get freaked out sleeping outside. I hate being cold. I hate being wet. However, I love my kids and nieces more than I hate camping. So I plastered a smile on my face and decided to suck it up. Plus, it helps to have a brother-in-law who is a camping gadget guru. This was no groundsheet in a leaky tent. All the amenities you could imagine.

So, we're driving along the barren prairies, went over a hill and saw this:

We went exploring and were amazed by this:

Hoodoos...and more hoodoos:

Ancient river beds:

Treasures:

And family:

We saw and learned amazing things about the dinosaurs who used to live here and those who discovered their fossils and skeletons millions of years later.

By the way, our campsite rocked. As far as campsites go you can't get much better. Tons of space and a built in beach! We lucked out for the first two days and had some decent weather. So, after exploring the kids hit the beach!

I can't say I would pitch a tent myself anytime soon but I am surprised at how much fun camping can be. If you're in Alberta I would highly recommend a trip to Dinosaur Provincial Park too. I have never seen anything like it!

Exhausted Mom

I was talking to a friend of mine in the schoolyard and she said she had been googling "Exhausted Mom" the other day. She was looking for solace. Advice. A solution to her constant state of fatigue. Of course, she found nothing new. The advice was to "slow down", "take time for yourself", "don't overprogram". We've all heard it.

Now this particular mom has 5 kids. Actually 5 BOYS so I don't think she is going to find a resolution for a number of years but, what's my excuse? Or all the other moms who nodded their heads in silent understanding? I have 2 kids. Yes, they are 2 busy kids but there are only 2 of them. I have my own business (and believe me this has been a huge cause of my exhaustion lately).  But, I do take time for myself. Maybe not a huge amount but I make a point of it. I also don't think my kids are overprogrammed (although others might disagree) and I have a strong community to lessen the burden from carpooling to socializing in the schoolyard (see above inspiration for post).

So why is it then that we are all so tired? And by this I don't mean "sleepy", I mean physically tired - exhausted. There just don't seem to be enough hours in the day. I have to pick and choose how I spend my time. Do I eat lunch or do I have that conference call? Do I go for a run or do I have coffee with a friend? I need to book camps, clean up for the cleaning lady, schedule vacation time for my nanny, grow my business, set up playdates, nurture my marriage, play with my kids, help with homework...the list goes on and on.

I think that short conversation in the schoolyard actually helped. Because at least I know I am not alone. Many moms reach mid-May and are ready for a break. A break from the routine. A summer vacation. That's how I feel. I've had just about enough and can't wait for the end of school so we can relax and get into summer mode.

How about you?

When a field of flowers looks like Starbucks

We are urban dwellers. We live in a typical Toronto neighbourhood. We are near the subway, near the high street, and our house is very close to our neighbours. We share a driveway and have a postage stamp backyard. My kids spend far more time at the school playground or park then in their backyard. There are speed bumps on our street to slow down the harried drivers rushing to the Starbucks at the corner. My kids are city slickers and their world is defined by what they know.

This has never been more clear to me than tonight. My daughter and I lay down to read a bedtime story and she picked one of my faves from when I was a little girl, Jennifer's Walk. (Just as a little aside, I looked this up to get you the link and found out that it is worth quite a bit of money...who knew?!) Anyway, I loved this book as a child and so do my kids. We revisit it every few months and love rejoining Jennifer on her adventure. Jennifer, unlike my kids, lives on a farm. Her walk takes her on an adventure of her own backyard past vegetable gardens, through fields, meeting horses and sheep, barely able to glimpse the top of her house from the spot where she knows she has gone far enough. Her backyard is full of surprises and hiding spots and adventure.

Tonight as we were reading about Jennifer running through the field of black eyed susan's chasing butterflies my daughter exclaimed "Wow, Mommy! That field is almost as big as Starbucks!". Yup. No joke. That is her ruler from massiveness. Starbucks.

Then, in the distance on one of the shots of the whole area, you can see what I suspect is a lighthouse. I point to it and say "What do you think that is?". Without hesitation my 5 year old states "It must be the CN Tower." That's my girl.

It's not like we don't ever get out of the city. Both of her grandparents have places in the country that we visit often but my children's world is here and everything they know is measured against what is familiar. I know that my daughter would find it strange to walk out her front door and not be able to wave to her bestfriend across the street or walk to the grocery store and toy store and stop in to rent a video all within a few blocks from her house. I wonder what a child growing up on a farm would think? Goes to show you, perception definitely is reality.

My Little Chocolate Nemesis

This mocking, smug little a**hole will not let me be:

That's why I ate his smug little grin right off. Bet he's not feeling so sickeningly sweet anymore...but oh yes, he is...and he's calling to me. From the fridge. Must go to him. Just one little nibble. Then another. Really, it isn't too bad - 1000 calories spread over a few days (not including the Reese's peanut butter eggs or the Easter Cream egg or the creamed eggs and ham breakfast...3 servings). Just one more little bite and I'll satisfy that craving. Oh, how you mock me Chocolate Easter Bunny!

Time to get back on my Isagenix bandwagon. I felt so good then. Much better than this guy ever made me feel, yet, I keep going back for more. And my self-righteous husband doesn't help "Well, then why did the Easter Bunny decide to bring you one in the first place?". Hmmm...that smug grin makes him look a lot like my little chocolate nemesis. Maybe their in cahoots?

Anyway, I think I just need to sit down once and for all and devour the whole thing. I may puke but at least it will be done. What do you think? Good strategy or what!

Something amazing happened this weekend. My completely-terrified-of-dogs-beyond-all-reason daughter suddenly likes dogs. As a matter of fact, she LOVED my sister-in-law's dog April this weekend and did not want to spend a minute without her. I really can not figure out what changed. All summer we were on egg shells holding the dog off, reprimanding both dog and child, stressing over what terrifying incident would come next. Even up until a few days before we left for this weekend she was afraid of the neighbour's Bernese Mountain dog - a huge but totally mild mannered beauty.

Then, she just decided and this is what we got:

*a quick aside - isn't it gorgeous?! some of the best skiing we've ever had this weekend. but still. come ON. It's SPRING.

Anyway, whatever her reasons whether it be that being a superhero herself she needed a superdog sidekick or that she was just so desperate for a constant playmate who really knows...and who cares!

This much snow makes us do crazy things...

I can NOT handle anymore snow.

I love winter. I get all giddy with the first snow fall. I adore those cold, sunny winter days. But this much snow in the city makes life very complicated. And it has been going on far too long. So, we head up north where we can at least take solace in a hot tub and ski on those cold sunny days. This Sunday has got to be one of the best ski days ever. But still, enough already.

So, what do you do when you have built 3500 snowmen, tobogganed 5 zillion times, lost count of how many times you have shoveled your driveway, and had countless snowball fights? Why, you get into your beach clothes and do THIS:

I told them it hurts:

   

Yup. My children are insane. But this is what happens when you have had 4 straight months of snow and you know your friends are vacationing on a beach somewhere. Or your family in Calgary are walking around in t-shirts and your sister in the U.K. is seeing the early blooms of spring. It is called DESPERATION and obviously I am not the only one in my family suffering. Please help. Who knows what we might do next.

Superheroes do wear glasses

So, another parenting lesson - don't stress until given real reason to stress. You remember my worries about my 5 year old daughter needing glasses? Well, we're 3 days in and so far so wow! She has been extremely responsible (as far as a 5 year old can be) and totally OK about wearing them. Now, we have yet to conquer school but I am thinking this may not be such a tough transition after all.

We went to the mall on Friday, had a special mom/daughter lunch, picked out two pairs of really cute glasses and while we waited we SHOPPED 'TIL WE DROPPED. We must have gone in every store. And she was SO good. Plus, suddenly the whole superhero-needs-glasses-to-be-extra-super thing didn't seem so far fetched to her. She put them on and took a look in the mirror. She instantly broke into a super pose and, well, a spectacle wearing Superhero was born! Phew.

Wanna see? Check out how cute!

I can see clearly now...

Sometimes I think parents shouldn't love their children so much. Just wait a minute and hear me out. I see it happen all the time. In the schoolyard ugly stuff happens between kids and you see some moms try to protect their child from the inevitable betrayal and disappointment of hierarchies and evolving friendships. I see the dads pushing their sons to excel at hockey (or soccer or ...) because they have felt disappointments of their own and want to protect their children from the same. I have actually seen parents cry at the thought that their son might not make a particular team. Don't get me wrong, I am not all self-righteous sitting here saying I am somehow immune to this. Although I do try to keep it in perspective, I am guilty of it too. And that is why I am writing this post.

As I've mentioned, my daughter is kind of different, unique. In my opinion this makes her special. She does not conform and is definitely not the stereotypical princess and pink-loving 5 year old girl. This sometimes (read: often) makes her life a bit more difficult. But the funny thing is I think this would be her fate anyway. My son is very even keeled, very reasonable and he just kinda floats through life with very few ups and downs. But for my daughter it is different. Not only does she create her own drama but drama just seems to follow her around. Here are a few examples of what I mean:

1. At 2.5 she got ALL of her hair chopped off on a playdate.
2. At 3 she got hit by a tennis racket and then fell which resulted in 2 black eyes.
3. Just after her 5th birthday she spent 4 days at Sick Kids with pneumonia.

See what I mean? None of these are her fault but it kinda fits with who she is and because I love her so much it really makes it tough on me! It is hard not to want to protect her from all of these things. But now, we've got another challenge and this one's a doozy.

My beautiful, active, spirited 5 year old needs GLASSES. I know it is not the end of the world but it just seems like we could use a bit of a break. She's barely recovered from pneumonia and her hair just got back to normal and now she has to deal with this?! 

She is none too happy either. I tried to convince her that they will be like a superhero mask but she isn't falling for it. I showed her all of the pretty, cool styles they have now (see pics) but she just yelled "I don't care! I'm not a grown-up!" This is because we don't know a single child who wears glasses so I can't even help her feel that she is not alone.

The thing is, I want to protect her from all of it. I just don't want her to have to deal with the insecurity and inconvenience of having to wear glasses. She is 5 years old!

So, tomorrow we go shopping. I'm going to treat her to lunch and make a big mom and daughter shopping trip out of it. That way she can get used to them over the weekend and conquer school on Monday. I guess no matter how hard we try these little people we love so deeply will experience rejection, embarrassment, and disappointment just like we did. Wish us luck. Oh, and any advice or words of wisdom are much appreciated.

Family Day, Shmamily Day

Today was our very first official Family Day in Ontario. Plus, in Toronto, Friday was a PD Day (or PA Day or whatever they're called now). Hooray! An extra long weekend in February! That's what I was thinking anyway. I had visions of blowing out of the big city on Friday morning and frolicking joyfully with my family over a weekend full of snowball fights and two full days of skiing. Fast forward to Monday night where I am breathing a sigh of relief to have my over-tired, cabin fever suffering kids tucked away in their own beds. Needless to say, Family Day was a bit of a bust.

Don't you find that happens though? You look forward to something or have expectations only to be let down. But then, out of nowhere you have the best time of your life when you least expect it. Like the time my kids and I walked up to the grocery store and the local cheese shop. We laughed so hard at our own jokes, we snacked on Starbucks cookies, and made up the most hilarious games. Then my son and I sampled fine cheeses while giggling madly at my daughter who was talking in the craziest voice plugging her nose against the invading "disgusting" cheese smells. We raced all the way home holding hands and singing silly, made up songs.

That day should have been Family Day. Or the day last weekend when we went skiing with friends in a blizzard and had the time of our lives. Laughing and chasing each other through snowsqualls. There were no lift lines to deal with and plenty of Beaver Tails to be had apres ski. Plus, the weather was so crazy we got snowed in only to enjoy an extra night of fun trapped up north.

But today, no way. It rained all day yesterday which meant there was no skiing for us (despite the fact that my hubby actually got the kids to the hill and stood for ten minutes contemplating whether or not it was worth it...it wasn't). My back was so bad that I could barely walk let alone ski or build snow forts. And my kids had so much pent up energy that the car ride home was like being trapped inside a cage with two wild animals. To top it all off, when we got out of the car and I reprimanded my daughter for her poor behaviour and listening skills I was told that I was the worst mom in the world. Ahhhh, happy Family Day everyone!

Next year, no expectations. Just another weekend we are lucky enough to spend together. I think I'll take my family days as they come.

Fast Food Factoid...and a Poll!

Let's face it, most of us do it. We indulge in it ourselves or take our kids for a special treat. Some more than others but it does happen. What is the "it" I refer to? Fast food. The other day I surprised my kids at school at lunch time and offered to take them out to eat. I was thinking the local pub but where do you think they wanted to go? The only place on their list? Yup, McDonald's. And my husband will often treat my son to McDonald's or Tim Horton's breakfast after an early morning hockey game. I didn't even really think about this. Fast food is fast food, right? Wrong.

I was really surprised the other day to learn that there are choices that are better than others. When comparing breakfast sandwiches I would have pegged McD's as one of the fattier, higher calorie ones but, to my surprise I was wrong. Did you know that the Egg McMuffin is actually made with a real egg cracked right on the grill? And, it weighs in at only 290 calories and 12g of fat. Take off the butter and cheese and it goes down even more. Compare it to the Timmy's Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Breakfast Sandwich and you'll be surprised what you find. This morning snack weighs in at 410 calories and 23g of fat! Plus, them eggs are not cracked fresh on the grill either.

By no means am I advocating a daily Egg McMuffin because it is fast food and in my opinion is a treat but I will think twice about treating my family to Timmy's breakfast again when you can almost half your calories and fat at McD's. Plus, I would stick to the regular Egg McMuffin because my beloved Sausage McMuffin with Egg doesn't quite measure up.

Anyway, my point is, you can still treat yourself and your kids without going totally overboard. To compare apples to apples you can check out both McDonald's and Tim Horton's nutritional information here and decide for yourself:

McDonald's Nutrition Calculator
Tim Horton's Nutrition Calculator

What totally surprised me is that there is a HUGE difference in some of these things and some not so much. Most of the burgers (including the 1/4lb with cheese and the Big Mac) averaged around 400-500 calories. I thought the Big Mac would be way more than the others. I also thought the 6 pack of nuggets would be off the charts but they were even less at 310 calories and quite a bit less fat. Now, the sodium levels are crazy but, again, this is a treat.

Anyway, I feel a bit reassured and a bit more educated on the facts when we do indulge in a fast food treat. So, how often to your kids eat fast food? Let me know in the poll below. Come on...be honest ;)

This Parenting Thing is Too Freakin' Hard...and Day 2: Pre-Cleanse

We were back at Sick Kids this morning. We had a little, lethargic girl with a fever. This parenting thing is WAY too hard. This was supposed to be our hump day. She was primed to go back to school tomorrow. But instead she napped and cried and cuddled. My heart sat outside my body as I watched her. I turned to my mom with tears of my own and declared "this is just too hard." How do the parents of terminally ill children do it? I can not even imagine. Her pale face. Her skinny, weak body. It is too much. My energetic superhero is just a frail, tiny little person.

The good news is they sent us home. She is being closely monitored but did not need to be readmitted. A good night's sleep (for both of us), some Tylenol and some food and rehydration will help. She's on the mend and now it's time for me to stop obsessing over every little moan. Man, I need a stiff drink...

But, as you all know, that is not in the cards for me these days. Probably a good thing, really. I have now completed Day 2 of my Pre-Cleanse. Being at the hospital screwed things up a bit but I managed to stay on track and I am surprised at how well I am doing. I have not been nearly as hungry as I thought and I actually find that shakes quite enjoyable.

Tomorrow the real test begins - it is our first real cleanse day. No food. Just the Isagenix nutrient replacements. What really impresses me about this program is the philosophy. They don't promise the quick fix or the miracle solution. What they promote is cleansing the body and giving it the fuel it needs to perform at its optimum. Isagenix is not the miracle but your own body can be if you give it what it needs. This is a lifestyle choice for those who find results. We'll see what I think in the end but so far I am more than intrigued. I like that it is more about what you put in than what is coming off and since I don't have hefty weight loss goals this works well for me.

So, tune in tomorrow to see how I do with zero food but a body well on the way to eliminating toxins and operating at its peak! Btw, I was going to post a before picture like Kath did but then I thought that was stupid because I don't have lofty weight loss goals. What do you think? Should I do it to see if there is a difference? I was thinking of taking one up close of the bags under my eyes to illustrate fatigue and lack of energy but opted out of that...too much information even for me.

Oh, and I didn't have a chance to catch up with Steve about the fitness part of the program because I was at the hospital all day. As soon as I do I'll fill you in. But, in the meantime, if you have any questions about Steve Bentley or Bentley Coaching or Isagenix contact Steve at performancecoaching@sympatico.ca or by phone at 416.497.6361.

And then life happened

Today was supposed to be my first day of the Isagenix cleanse. I was going to start along with Kath and her hubby but, as it often does, life had other ideas.

On Friday afternoon I took my sick little girl into the emergency at Sick Kids referred by our local walk-in clinic. I wasn't too concerned thinking this was merely a precaution. After all, she was a healthy, energetic kid. She was, however, getting really sick - high fever, lethargy, cough - so the visit was not a bad idea...just in case.

I knew it was bad when, despite the crowd in the waiting room, we were whisked into a room in emergency and immediately seen by a doctor. And, she was getting worse. She was barely waking and when she did she would say "I can't handle it anymore". Yikes.

After a few hours of tests, IV fluids, and x-rays she was found to have a very pronounced case of pneumonia. But, they assured me, only a small percentage of kids have to be admitted to hospital. We would be home shortly.

However, when they came to check on her again they looked concerned. She was not responding and her oxygen saturation was dangerously low. She would have to stay for observation for 24 hrs. No biggie. No worries.

But, at 10:38pm worrying was exactly what I was doing (and crying and just plain freaking out) because she was transferred to the Resuscitation Room. This room's name is enough to cause a major mommy freak out but the sight of it took it to a whole other level. It was sanitized with metal and machines everywhere. It was one of those rooms on shows like ER or Trauma, Life in the ER that they take those critical patients. I was scared to death.

She had 4 doctors including the ICU doctor, the Respiratory Therapist, and 2 nurses observing and consulting and I was told that if she didn't stabilize she would have to be admitted to ICU and put on a ventilator. WHAT?! How did this happen? How did it get so bad so fast?

Luckily, she did stabilize and we were moved to a general pediatric ward and put in isolation. She was so sick. She was on ventilin and oxygen with IVs and monitors everywhere. She was so small and so extraordinarily brave. She barely cried (although she did scream at one of the nurse to get away from her when she was trying to swab her eyes). Even when her tired and scared mommy pulled out her IV on a trip to the bathroom and blood poured from her open vein she simply declared "Mom? Look at all the blood. Ahhhhh, don't tell me I'm going to die now."

These are the times when I see the value of her strength and determination. Where being sure of yourself and strong in your convictions and confident in your abilities has major advantages. Her small little self was not taking any crap.

Well, 4 days later we are home. A little tired. A little weaker. But a heck of a lot wiser. Lots of perspective for mom and a very grown-up attitude for a 5 year old who told me upon leaving "Mom, I'm bigger now. I can feel it." Yes. I can feel it too.

Oh, BTW, I am starting my Isagenix cleanse tomorrow so check back for my first post!

When 8 Year Olds Can't Sleep

Tonight I have had enough. 8 years of broken sleep, musical beds, and soothing him to sleep. My sweet, sensitive, anxious young man and the battle of bedtime. My 5 year old goes to sleep on her own and sleeps soundly through most nights but not her big brother.

And not that I don't appreciate your advice but I wouldn't bother if I were you. I know some of you are reading this thinking that we aren't tough enough or our parenting is lacking. Didn't your child sleep through the night from the time they were 3 seconds old? Didn't you deal with bad dreams by "Monster Proofing"? Didn't Dr. Ferber solve it all when he/she was just 4 months old? Been there, done that, heard it all. We've tried everything. I really mean it. We've spent a small fortune on books, blankets, stuffed animals, charts and stickers, music, rewards...the list goes on and on. We've threatened, let him cry, made plans to meet up in our dreams, done yoga and relaxation exercises. Nothing works.

Most nights I am resigned and optimisitc realizing it can't go on forever. I know that one day my teenager would be horrified at the thought of turning to us to snuggle him to sleep. His bad dreams will come in a different form and he'll learn to cope on his own. My husband and I will have endless hours of evening chatter and we'll secretly miss the midnight cuddles and small, warm body beside us.

But tonight I am fed up. I would like to have a conversation with my husband, one of my fave shows is on and I want to watch it (I know, I know, my PVR is set but it would be nice to at least watch it on the night it airs), I have a few phone calls to make and I'm sick of being kept prisoner upstairs.

So, I told him "enough". He has to be responsible to come up with a small step. Something to move this in the right direction. He's old enough to know he's old enough to do it. We talked (ok...I talked a little too loudly) and he said "I'm going to think about it. I promise I'll try, mom. I'm going to try really hard not to be so scared so you won't be so mad".

Yup. That's me. The Wicked Witch. Nothing like a healthy dose of guilt to diffuse a situation. The crazy thing is I was exactly the same. I had trouble sleeping until I was in my twenties (I swear. Ask my sisters) and then I was married so always had my husband next to me. Normally, on most nights, I know that this is not something he chooses and not something he can control. Who would? But I'm tired and fed up. It'll be better tomorrow.

5 Years Ago Today A Superhero Was Born

Today I am a bit melancholy...my baby turns 5. Wow. 5 is Big Kid. No more baby or toddler. I totally remember being 5. A fully formed person with opinions and personality. And if you know my daughter you will know she is not short on personality. This was her this morning in her birthday finest:

This girl knows what she likes and nothing is going to sway her. She balks at princesses and ponies. She's going to fight the bad guys and save the world! In this pic she is Lava Girl but she could be Fire Girl, Super Blast, or even Shark Boy at any given time. She speaks Super Language (and to my dismay so do I) and practices her Super Poses in front of the mirror. Sometimes as she leaps and kicks in pursuit of the bad guys she falls down the stairs or hits her head but her Super Powers soon cure her of any injury and she is off to fight evil once again.

My baby. Her first words this morning were "Do I look bigger?". Of course a transformation has taken place throughout the night and she is now much bigger and stronger because she is 5. This was confirmed by her big brother and Dad. She is such a unique character. Sometimes I worry that she will have trouble relating to other girls but at the same time I am in awe of her ability to be true to herself. Her Super Powers obviously make her immune to the pressures of Princess Mania.

So today I will share with you some pictures to illustrate the growth of this little person. My baby. My Big Kid. My 5 year old Superhero.

Click here for the harrowing story of this haircut.

 

The Birthday Blahs

My daughter's birthday is in early January. She doesn't know it yet but this really sucks. Everybody is pretty fed up with celebrating and often her birthday gets lumped in with everything else. Sometimes she gets a joint birthday/Christmas gift or one gift with a separate birthday card. Often people just forget all together.

Even I struggle to find excitement after weeks of celebrations and a rush to return to the regular routine. However, retailers don't make it any easier. At this time of year there is NOTHING left in the stores but leftovers and sale items. They are sold out of most of the latest toys and all of the new clothes are for spring (in January??).

I am not saying that my already very lucky little girl needs more stuff but I think if we are going to make a fuss over her brother's birthday and the birthdays of all of her pals then she should get the same. What I worry about is that it won't be long until she sees the difference. I guess what I am saying is that I don't want her to think she is not as important. Am I overreacting? What do you think?

Fun, Sun and RELAXATION

Sorry for my recent absence but I've been "busy" relaxing on the beach. My husband finally managed to convince this obsessive workaholic that it was time to take a break. No blackberry. No internet. No urbanmoms.ca. What's a girl to do?! Believe it or not, I managed just fine. After all, it was only a week and I have my faithful Kath and Agathe to keep everything running.

So, want the scoop? We spent an AMAZING week at the Occidental Grand in Cozumel, Mexico. Beautiful beach, clear water, and the second largest reef in the world. Although we are not divers we enjoyed snorkeling, sailing, and all the other activities this all inclusive haven had to offer. Oh, and btw, the kids begged to go the Kids Club. Susana who runs it is AWESOME. It was the perfect balance of relaxation and time together. Check it out:

Me beaching it and actually reading a BOOK...a novel no less. Ahhhhhhhh.

The pool is right next to the beach!

Sailing with my hubby...and NO KIDS. What a luxury.

Kids Club fun on the beach.

Need I say more?!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Nobody Wants a Foot Beard

Not familiar with the term "foot beard"? Neither was I until I had a conversation with my nearly 5 year old daughter yesterday. Let me just frame this one for you. My daughter sees my husband shave his beard every morning. Her only experience with shaving really is daddy shaving his beard. 'Kay...got it?

Then yesterday I decided to have a late afternoon tub to warm up from my freezing walk to and from the school yard...plus, I desperately needed to shave my legs. After all, I have a Holiday Party this weekend! Anyhoo, my daughter decided to come in and chat with me while I was soaking.

daughter: What are you doing?
me: Shaving.
daughter: But you're not a boy?
me: Nope. But most women shave their legs.
daughter: Why?
me: Umm...I'm not really sure. Because I guess we decided that it was prettier or something silly like that.
daughter: Yah. Nobody wants to have a Foot Beard. That's ugly! So, keep shaving it off Mommy.

Couldn't you just DIE laughing?! A Foot Beard!! For one thing, it would be a Leg Beard but all I could picture was this hairy, hobbit foot. Oh man. I'm still laughing about it.

Chicks That ROCK and a Giant Mound of Candy

Chicks That Rock
My daughter is 4 (and 3/4 according to herself) and she, in my opinion, totally rocks.  You know what I mean, we all knew them and likely know them still.  Those Chicks That Rock. And me? I really, really wanted to be one but I just didn't have quite the right combination of athleticism, attitude, and nerve to make it work.  However, my cool little kitten started playing hockey and skiing at 3 through sheer determination, her favourite movie characters are either Violet from The Incredibles or Juni from Spy Kids.  She plays that she is an instructor at Flying Camp and is convinced she is both a Secret Agent and a Super Hero.  Somedays she is decked in full pink then her mood will shift and she'll be donning an old soccer uniform of her brothers.  She doesn't succumb to peer pressure.  When she makes up her mind it's set. Today was a perfect example.

It's Halloween and every 4 and 5 year old girl in her school was either a) a princess b) a ballerina c) a fairy or d) some version of the above.  My little girl was a vampire.  A caped and bloody vampire.  The other kindergarteners stared at her in amazement.  And some of the girly girls avoided her.  She was unfazed.  What good was dressing up like a vampire if people weren't a little scared, right?

The truth is, as tough as it can be to have a willful (read: often defiant), self-assured (read: stubborn) unique (read: a little bit weird) daughter I totally admire her and I hope she never changes. It really doesn't matter to me what costume she wears on Halloween but the fact that she didn't follow the masses and didn't care about the strange looks from her peers makes me proud.  I wish I could be so confident.

A GIANT Mound of Candy...or TWO
First of all, my kids cosumes were awesome.  My son was a Punk Rock Zombie.  Check it out:

I'm so mad at myself for cutting off the mohawk in this pic!  Oh, and he wasn't thrilled that the Dora backpack was cramping his creepy style.

Check out the nose ring up close:

And finally about to head out to meet the rest of the gang:

Living in an urban neighbourhood definitely has it's advantages - the subway is a block away, everything you could ever need is within walking distance, and trick-or-treating is like winning the lottery.  The houses are close together so you can hit WAY more houses in less time...and my kids have it down to a science.  Soooooo worth the cost of real estate ;) Check this:

Mound #1


Mound #2
 

Yup, those are pillow cases you see beside the mound. Thank god the Halloween Witch will be coming soon to take some of this away or Mommy might have to guest blog over at Kath's Losing It! So far though the only thing I've been pigging out on are these:

Yummmmmmmy...pumpkin seeds.  Hope you had a good one too!