Canadian Urban Parents

The truth about report cards…

Report card time is a stressful one for both parents and teachers.  Here are some things that all parents should know.  Most of these comments will apply to primary students.

1. It is not an exact science.  Yes, we keep records and marks, but sometimes it comes down to that gut instinct (which has been well honed after years of teaching).
2. Pay attention to the qualifiers. The little words in front of statements mean a lot.  There is a big difference between always, usually and sometimes.  Comments like “independently” or “with teacher assistance” are also very important.
3. We don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  That’s why we say things like “is reminded to” or “is encouraged to” – that means that your child is currently not doing something they should be doing.  Read between the lines.
4. Report Card comments are generally quite generic.  Everyone gets pretty much the same comment except for those little qualifiers. Language and math will be the most individualized comments.
5. Comments for primary students are sometimes not suitable for the students themselves to hear.   A teacher’s job is to give an accurate portrayal of your child’s strengths and weakness.  The weaknesses are often a focal point.  If your child is struggling in school, hearing some of these comments may be difficult to understand.
6. We do have to grade within certain curriculum confines.  Sometimes very smart children have a hard time following instructions and producing work as it is expected.  This will be reflected in the grades, but it does not mean that that is all there is to your child.  What’s important, especially at the primary level is that your child understands and communicates (at least to you) the concepts that are being taught in class.  The grade itself is not the most important thing.
7. Marks can very easily change from one term to the next.  New concepts are taught and new expectations are evaluated.  Having an A in one term does not guarantee an A the next.

If you really disagree with something you see on the report, discuss it with the teacher at the parent/teacher conference.  While it is unlikely that a grade will get changed, the teacher will probably spend some extra time evaluating your child’s understanding to the concepts being taught.

Sue, urbanmoms.ca's Education Expert, is a mother of 3 and a teacher for more than 10 years. Her experience in the classroom and as a mother provide a great perspective to help teachers and parents open up the lines of communication. Sue will be a regular contributor to the Urban Parents section of urbanmoms.ca.

Making Informed Childbirth Choices

“If you don’t know your options, you don’t have any.” A Good Birth, A Safe Birth - Diana Korte and Roberta Scaer

In light of all the technology in today’s birth culture, many first time parents are left to wonder…

How do I make the choices that are right for me?  How do I understand what choices I am making?

When making choices you need to ask yourself these questions:
1. What is involved in this procedure/ medication/ restriction? As with any test, you want to know exactly what your doctor or midwife plans to do, including how it will feel.
2. What are the benefits? To you and to baby.
3. What are the risks or drawbacks? How commonly do they occur?
4. Will this procedure or medication or restriction require the need for others, or can it lead to others? Like tipping the first domino in the row, one intervention tends to lead to another.
5. What are my alternatives, including doing nothing?
6. What are the advantages and disadvantages of those alternatives?

Your primary care giver should be more than willing to answer these questions. The choices they offer you are limited to their values and personal opinions. Thankfully, the Internet has allowed many expectant parents to expand their learning beyond their doctor, midwife and the few hand me down books that prevail on almost every expectant woman’s bookshelf.

Speaking of books…before you go out and buy that book that you heard about, look it up. Determine if that particular philosophy works along side your values and the preconceived choices you think you may like to pursue during labor. Examples are Vicki Iovines’ “The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy” states “epidurals are great”, and there is a “misunderstood notion” to think there is risk to the baby. Suzanne Arms is on the other end of the spectrum with her “Immaculate Deception” which takes on a much deeper context of what birth can mean to a woman. A nice middle ground is anything by Sheila Kitzinger. Research your options from sources like WebMD, or any other online medical periodicals (medical libraries at your local hospital are also open to the public).

Internet support boards are wonderful too. If you want both sides of an issue though, a debate board is the best place to go. Do not expect support for the choice that is least popular though, but do expect the research, as well as anecdotes, to fly!

Make the best choice with solid information and you will not be saying, “I wish I knew that before” or “It will be different next time”. Make the first time count.

Patricia Blomme RN, a married mother of 5 (including twins!) is a Certified Perinatal Nurse, childbirth educator/consultant, and doula. She has a private practice in Calgary, Alberta focusing on helping families to have the best birth possible.

Choosing Your Childbirth Educator

The line has turned double pink and you are experiencing a myriad of emotions. Whether expected or not, whether your first or your fifth (yes, I have five!) the events of pregnancy will be like a whirlwind and at the same time a period of frustration, impatience and learning.

Childbirth education is a class where a mother and her chosen birth partner learn about the workings of the body during birth, how to make choices about the care they are receiving, how to cope with the work of labor, breastfeeding and the basics of becoming a family or welcoming a new addition. There are multitudes of different attitudes regarding childbirth. Women come to birth as individuals and with their life experiences. The education program they choose should reflect the same values as the woman holds. On the same note, the instructor should be a good match as well; sitting in a classroom and listening to someone that irritates you will not be conducive to soaking up all that good knowledge.

Whether this is your first time or you want to better educate yourself for a subsequent birth, try the links below to find the class or person best suited to your specific childbirth education needs. 

Hospital Based Classes – with these classes there is not much choice about your educator. The classes are basic and offer a ‘cookie cutter’ type of education. The instructors come from a variety of backgrounds and philosophies about birth. Whom you get is a matter of scheduling, which is more important for some and than it is for others.

Bradley Method - This is also known as “Husband Coached Childbirth Education”. The standard length of the classes is 12 weeks covering 12 units of instruction. This course has a focus on ‘natural birth” http://www.bradleybirth.com/

HypnoBirthing® - A unique method of relaxed, natural childbirth education, enhanced by hypnosis techniques which allow women to use their natural instincts to bring about a safer, easier, more comfortable birthing experience. http://www.hypnobirthing.com/

Birthing From Within - Teachers believe that childbirth is a profound rite of passage, not a medical event (even when medical care is part of the birth). Parents are taught the power of birthing-in-awareness, even when their birth experience is not what they had anticipated. http://www.birthingfromwithin.com/

Lamaze International- Birth is normal, natural, and healthy. The experience of birth profoundly affects women and their families. Women's inner wisdom guides them through birth. Women's confidence and ability to give birth is either enhanced or diminished by the care provider and place of birth. Women have the right to give birth free from routine medical interventions. Birth can safely take place in homes, birth centres and hospitals. Childbirth education empowers women to make informed choices in health care, to assume responsibility for their health and to trust their inner wisdom. http://www.lamaze.org

Birth Works® embodies the philosophy of developing a woman's self confidence, trust and faith in her ability to give birth. The goal is to promote safe and loving birth experiences through education, introspection and confident action. http://www.birthworks.org

Association of Childbirth Educators and Labor Assistants (ALACE): http://www.alace.org
The prime emphasis of the program is for pregnant women to make active choices to create the best possible birth experience--whether it be in the hospital, at home or in a birth centre.

Patti, an urbanmoms.ca member, is a mother of 5 children, including a set of twins.  She is a Registered Nurse, a Doula, and a childbirth educator.  Patti runs Pre-Natal Plus in Calgary and will be contributing regularly to urbanmoms.ca.  Please send Patti an email if you have any questions or suggestions for topics.