Canadian Urban Parents

Living Simply in a Complex World

“Mommy! I want THAT for my birthday!” “Me too! I want THAT one!”

Ever since my oldest child “graduated” from watching Treehouse exclusively, this refrain has echoed through the family room every day during TV time. It’s my kids, watching TV, asking for everything they see in commercials. And whenever we go out to run an errand – even just for a walk in the neighbourhood – it’s a constant stream of consumerism; “can’t we stop at Mac’s for a treat?”, “can we go to the video store for a movie?”, “buy me a toy while you’re out!”

I try my best to help my daughters intellectually navigate the stream of advertising they’re now faced with, from the ubiquitous TV ads to Point-Of-Sale treats at the post office, to the Scholastic book flyers that come home with remarkable frequency from school. My oldest daughter will recite, by rote, “they want you to buy it” when I ask her why companies pay TV stations to put ads on, but arming her with that knowledge doesn’t stop her endless wanting. My daughter, whose favourite things are dinosaurs, lizards and sharks; who often wears boys’ t-shirts because they feature dinosaurs, lizards and sharks, wants a Barbie lava lamp. Why? Because she saw it on TV.

I’ll admit I’m not immune to this myself. The proof came not too long ago when I overheard my girls telling their dad about the pictures they’d drawn that afternoon. “And this is me having a coffee at Starbucks”, pipes up the elder, echoed by “yah, we hab stawbucks” from her younger sister. So what’s a parent to do?

Sometimes, it’s tempting to just go with it. Let’s face it – brands provide us with some level of certainty about the products we spend our money on. I may pay more for a dress from Gymboree than one from Zellers, but I do know that it will still look cute on my second daughter two years and fifty washes later.

Lately, though, I’ve been brought up short in my consumerist complacency. I’ve been staying at home with my girls for nearly three years now, and it’s time to face the fact that if I want to keep doing so, our family is going to have to live more simply (which is a nice way to say “cheaply”). This way, we can have the money to spend on things we really need - retirement, education, etc. and still have a bit left over for the important things we want - skiing, iPod, travel, etc. To try and staunch my avid consumerism, I have made it my mission to reduce our grocery bill by at least $50 per week. I’m now rather proud of the fact that I keep a “price book”, tracking the price per 100g of every food item I buy from week to week. I carry my calculator with me when grocery shopping, so I can calculate whether it really is less expensive to buy 8 cases of yogurt at once instead of one box of 12 at a time. I clip (or download!) coupons. I’ve even unearthed the recipes my sisters and I used to call “welfare food” when my own mother was being frugal. Talk about Karma!

But it’s often an uphill battle. Call it greed, avarice or keeping up with the joneses, but I struggle to let go of my consumerism. I guess when I’m no longer jealous of my friend’s brand-name groceries (real Cheerios – I ask you!), I’ll know I’ve well and truly slain that inner beast. Until then, I guess I’ll have to keep repeating to myself the mantra I tell my daughters, “I don’t choose to spend our money on that right now”.

Kath is mom to two girls, an erstwhile elementary teacher and a regular contributor to urbanmoms.ca. She is also Calgary team member for urbanmoms.ca. If you'd like to comment on this or any other topic, or if you'd like to contribute, email kath@urbanmoms.ca

The New Math

Most parents are aware of the five strands of math that must be taught to all students in Ontario – Numeration and Number Sense, Patterning and Algebra, Data Management (Graphing) and Probability, Geometry and Measurement.   What you may not be as aware of, is that at the beginning of this school year a new Ontario curriculum was introduced for grades one to eight. 

At first glance many of the changes that have occurred seem relatively insignificant.  For example, some major expectations that have previously appeared under number sense and numeration now appear under the patterning and algebra strand, i.e. growing patterns (that numbers get bigger either by a set amount or exponentially) are now found under this strand.  There are, however, some other changes that will begin to become evident as more and more teachers begin teaching this new curriculum.

The single biggest change to the math curriculum is the increased emphasis on problem solving, real life applications and demonstrating a true understanding.  In order for students to achieve an A grade (or Level 4) they must be able to articulate, either verbally in the lower grades or in written form in the older grades how they arrived at an answer.  Being intuitive about math is not enough.  Providing the right answer is only a part of answering a question as expected.  Teaching methods have changed as well. 

Here’s an example of how two digit addition may be taught in your child’s grade two class.   It is quite a different approach from the way we were taught (add the ones, carry over if necessary, then add the tens).  Students are now expected to be able to give an approximate answer, i.e. 21 + 32 = about 50.  This takes a lot of practise with understanding numbers, rounding to the nearest ten, etc.  They will then be taught a variety of strategies to find the exact answer, including adding the tens first and then the ones.  Students will also be given a lot of practise regrouping (i.e. trading in ten ones for one ten) with manipulatives called base ten blocks.  All of this is done so that students have a real understanding of what they are doing and are not just performing the mechanics.

What do you as a parent need to do at home?….Relax, stay away from repetitive drills that are aimed at helping students memorize number facts.  Parents are often confused when their six year old child who knows all of the multiplication table is not receiving high grades in math.  This is probably because the child is not demonstrating an in-depth understanding of the purpose and concepts behind the math being taught.  It’s better to spend 5 minutes with your child talking about math concepts or using simple manipulatives that you have around the house (dried beans, pasta) to work out a problem. 

If you really like the idea of math workbooks feel free to use them to give you 10 minutes of peace and quiet, but don’t expect these rote exercises to help your child understand some of the more complex performance tasks (usually a math problem that students must work out using pictures, numbers and words that requires them to use many of the concepts taught during the particular unit).   If you are really looking to find ways to help your child, look for a grade level problem solving workbook (preferably published in your province) – your local teacher’s store will be able to help.

Finally, there are two things to think about… first, the new curriculum is really aimed at helping children understand math and there are many good things about it and second, don’t stress too much.  As a working mother of three I am more than happy to let the teachers teach the math -- we never do math at home unless homework is assigned! 

Sue, urbanmoms.ca's Education Expert, is a mother of 3 and a teacher for more than 10 years. Her experience in the classroom and as a mother provide a great perspective to help teachers and parents open up the lines of communication. Sue is a regular contributor to urbanmoms.ca.

Mom's Away and Dad Thinks He's Gonna Play

OK.  I admit it.  I was clueless.  I have spent lots of time with my kids over the years so I thought a whole weekend would be no problem.  I've put them to bed before.  I've fed them, changed diapers, gotten them dressed.  How hard could it be?  I found out. 

When my wife was asked to spend a weekend in New York with a few of her pals I encouraged her to go.  She was hesitant, "What about the baby?" she asked, brow furrowed.  Our "baby" was well over 2 and the other two were 7 and 5.  They were so independent these days they would barely need me.  They could play together for a while, we'd hang out at the park.  I'd get a chance to read my paper while they ran off some steam.  None of this over scheduling and running around like we usually do.  Other than my 7 year old son's hockey game, we would just take it easy.

Fast forward to Saturday morning.  My wife had been gone a total of 12 hours and things were not going well.  I had "slept" with all three kids in the bed because the baby had a fit when he woke up and it wasn't mommy who came to comfort him.  Of course, this woke up the other two.  Then, the alarm went off at 5:30am and I had to get everyone up and ready for my son's game at 7:00am.  Add in a poopy diaper and a 5 year old who couldn't decide which of her brother's hockey shirts she inherited was the "prettiest", and you have one frazzled dad!

No worries.  The afternoon will be better.  We'll just take it easy.  No plans.  Just hanging out.  After lunch the two year old went off for his nap and I turned on a movie for the big kids.  Now it was dad's time to read the paper and catch a few winks.  This wasn't so bad.  I got exactly 14 minutes into it when I had two kids jumping on top of me complaining of boredom.  After trying everything, including bribery, I got the guilt trip.  "But Dad, you said this was our weekend together?  Don't you even want to play with us?".

Fast forward to Saturday night.  Three tired kids and an exhausted dad.  How does my wife do this?  And I didn't even make dinner.  I decided to take the kids out for dinner. But not for fast food.  We were going to go for a real burger and fries...diner style.  Two words - bad idea.  Three kids on their best behaviour have trouble waiting. I think that is why fast food was created.  My three were cranky and everyone in the restaurant knew it within a few minutes.  We opted to doggy bag it and finished eating at home.

Luckily, the kids were so pooped they went to bed early and I ended up falling asleep on the couch soon after.  I was in a dead sleep when I heard screaming and jolted awake in mid-stride up the stairs.  By the time I got upstairs, all three were awake and all three were crying.  The two older kids were in my room in a panic because no one was in my bed.  The baby was in hysterics in his crib.

Fast forward to Sunday morning.  Yup.  It's the four of us again in my bed.  How come they sleep through the night when mommy's home?  Mommy!  Yeah!  She comes home today.  Just a few more hours and we've made it.

As we sat by the door Sunday afternoon in a giant cuddle waiting for my wife to come back.  We chatted about the exciting weekend we'd had playing boardgames, doing races at the park, eating out, and having our "sleepovers".  It now seemed so fun.  I couldn't wait to tell my wife how the "baby" had peed on the potty, how my daughter had made up a cheer at her brother's hockey game and how my eldest had helped me clean up and read stories to his little brother and sister.

I have a renewed respect and admiration for the work my wife does, that's for sure.  But I also have some great memories and a better understanding of my kids. 

Urbandad posts are contributed by different dads from all over the country.  These dads are invovled parents and consider their families their top priority.  How they do this is as varied as they are!  Stay tuned for more posts by urbandad.  If you or someone you know would like to contribute an urbandad post, please email urbandad@urbanmoms.ca.