Canadian Urban Parents

Feeling Empowered about Summer Reading

I spent the afternoon reading and writing with my 6 year old niece.  My sister asked me to work with her daughter as there has not been any borrow-a book or home book program during my niece’s two Kindergarten years.  My sister was concerned that without that support and on-going observation in the classroom, there may be a problem of which she was not aware.  We both felt a little guilty and silly that we hadn’t addressed this earlier.

My niece is coming along just fine but there are many things that could be happening at school and home that would assist her to be a much more confident reader and writer. 

This time spent together with my sister, chatting about books and activities for the summer, made me realize how difficult it is for parents to feel empowered about teaching their children to read and write.  I am hopeful that sharing some ideas from our discussion will help empower other parents with the task of “summer reading”! 

1. Purchase or make several “little books” that will be easy for your child to read over and over again.  These books should be one- two lines of text per page.  Each line should be a complete sentence and include several of the same (as other pages) high frequency words.  The book should have a story line (or theme).  There are some beginning reader packs from scholastic book order that will serve you very well. 

A word of caution to keep it simple.  The learning or mastery occurs when they experience the same reading vocabulary on several different pages in several different places within the sentence structure.  I recommend staying away from the strictly rhyme packs as these are not really stories but rather a collection of catchy phrases that often do not make sense.  This means that your child is not given the opportunity to access meaning to assist with problem-solving new or challenging words. They may begin to believe that reading is all about pattern and rhyme and not about making meaning out of written text.  Help them, let them and encourage them to read these stories over and over.  You want the reading vocabulary words to be automatic for them. Teach them that now that they “know” these words, they “know” them and can use them in any story!

For suggestions on how to best support the young, developing reader while reading with them see my previous article on meaning, structure and visual information.

2. Write about the stories you read.  This will automatically reinforce the learning of new vocabulary.  It doesn’t matter how you approach this task but rather just that you do it!  The learner, by the nature of the task of writing, must slow the analysis process down and more closely look at and listen to the word.  Teach your child about the reciprocity of the two systems:  what they know in reading can help them with writing and what they know in writing will help them in reading!

3. Play little games with word cards, magnetic letters, in the sand or with chalk.

Any activity that encourages confidence about what they know and how they can use it in the world of reading and writing around them.

I will end by stating, with just a little bias, that my niece is a very clever little girl and my sister is an intelligent woman and a wonderful mother.  Both are struggling about how to best tackle this task of reading and writing.  No matter what our experiences, teaching and learning to read and write is not easy! I hope that this may help some of you!  Please, enjoy the summer and the time you spend experiencing literacy with your precious children!

Britta is a Toronto mom with two sons aged 2 and 4.  She is currently on leave from the Toronto Board where she worked in Early Literacy so that she can be at home with her two boys.  She has worked in literacy education for over ten years and is keen to share some of her insights into what we can do at home to encourage our children along the path to becoming competent readers and writers. 

Family Vacations - Ask the Parenting Coach

Q:   My husband, children and I have been invited to spend a week at my sister’s cottage along with her family and our other sister’s family too.  The three clans vacationed together last summer and I found my parenting style clashed with those of my siblings, which caused a lot of tension for me.  I am hesitant about accepting the invitation for this summer but am also worried what the backlash might be if I don’t.  Can you help?

A:  It is indeed very common for siblings to have different parenting styles, and when they get together for family gatherings they can most definitely get on each other’s nerves.

Here are several courses of action for you as you approach this family time together.

First, begin with the end in mind.  Fast forward to the last day of the holiday and pretend to look back on the week.  What memories would you like to walk away with?  What memories do you want your children to walk away with?  What can you do to make sure what you want to create, happens?

Second, talk to you sisters individually about last year’s holiday together and comment on how you noticed that you each had different parenting styles.  Beyond the comment, do not go into what she did wrong or how she got on your nerves.  Instead, ask each sister how YOU can support her in how she parents so that the holiday is easier for her.  Tell her you want her to know that you love her and her children and that it’s important to you that you all have a wonderful time.  This tactic switches the focus from you the victim to you the loving and supportive sister.  Tip:  Use this as an opportunity to talk less and listen more.

Third, take some time out each day on the vacation to regroup with your own family – just you, your husband and your children.  Perhaps you could take a walk or go out for ice cream.  Reconnect with your family for about 30 minutes and while you’re out together focus on your children.  Ask them to share the best thing that happened to them that day.  Just ask one question per night so that they don’t get the feeling that each time you connect they’re getting the third degree.  Another night find out what they’d like to do but haven’t had a chance to do yet?  Another night find out if they had to change one thing about the holiday thus far, what might it be?  Family vacations tend to be for the kids, so if they’re having a great time, so will you.  Give the kids lots of opportunities to share their thoughts, and if they don’t want to share, that’s OK too.  Use the time to be together.  Just getting out for a bit on your own, without the larger extended family coming along, may help to dispel any tension within the mega group.

Fourth, share with your children and sister what you are enjoying about the vacation.  In other words, affirm for yourself the wonderful parts of the holiday.  The positive energy you will generate can go miles in helping you cope with the tensions that often surface when families congregate.

And last, but not least, keep in mind the relationship you want to foster with your sister that will continue far beyond the one week together.  With that foremost in your mind, you will be better able to let things go, and not make every small annoyance a 10!

Terry Carson, M.Ed. is a Parent Coach and a mother of four children, who understands the demands and challenges facing today’s urban mom.  As Canada’s first licensed Coach-Parenting™ Coach, her goal is to make parenting easier, more fulfilling and less stressful. She coaches clients on a one-on-one basis or through her Parent Coaching on Wheels workshops and is a regular contributor to urbanmoms.ca Urban Parents section. Please send Terry questions through her website, www.theparentingcoach.ca.