Back on Meds

By: Cayla from Running, Recipes, and Reading

So we decided to medicate.  Again.  And by "we", I actually mean that it was B that made the decision.  Really.  OK, so I did bring it up with, "what do you think about what Dr. Z said about trying a different medication?"  But after that, my only contribution was to answer any questions he had.  The cool thing was that not one of those questions was, "What do you think I should do?"  It truly, truly was his decision.  And I think this is how he came to it:

Over the past couple months, we have talked a lot about how things are going, both in school and with his friends, and what it feels like to have ADHD.  These conversations came out of him reading my post, To Medicate or not To Medicate.  I was pretty nervous when he read it; would he feel exploited?  Embarrassed?  Would he think I was blowing things out of proportion?  I know that you probably think I'm nuts for being afraid of my child's criticism, but we are not dealing with your average 11-year-old.  This is the same kid who, just a few months ago, requested to speak at my Dad, his Grandfather's funeral, starting off with, "I could identify with my Grandpa more than I could any other man."  And the same kid whose interview with a major Canadian sport broadcaster a few months ago ended with a job offer when he graduates.  Clearly this is not your average kid.

B really liked the post; I think it actually made him feel more comfortable talking about his ADHD.  He said that he wishes he could tell the kids at school that he has ADHD because maybe then they would understand why he acts the way he does but he also knows that they probably won't really understand and that it would probably just make things worse.  He said that he is really tired of getting in trouble every day and that school is getting harder again.  He knows his teachers know about the ADHD but feels that they don't really understand what its like for him and that he really isn't doing it on purpose.  He said it feels like the whole world is moving and talking in slow motion and that its unbearable for him to wait for things that seem normal to us, like waiting for the teacher to finish a conversation with another student.  He said that just the thought of having to sit for an extended period of time, like listening to a lesson or completing homework, causes him anxiety and stress because he knows he can't do it and its going to end up with him in trouble, again, and this nervousness makes him even more jumpy, hyper, and out of control.

So, on his request, I made an appointment with Dr. M to discuss a new med.  Unfortunately, the only appointment I could get was at the same time as B's Track and Field meet, something he loves.  I asked what he wanted to do: skip the meet or wait for another appointment.  He said, without hesitation, that he thought the meds were more important and he should miss the meet.  Now for those of you out there who think I made the wrong call, that he should have gone to the meet, you're wrong.  And I have a pretty strong ally in my corner: Mother Nature.  Apparently she also felt that B made the right decision and arranged for such horrid weather yesterday that his meet was postponed.

At the Dr., B explained what had been going on, how he was feeling, and what he was afraid of, such as the side effects.  Dr. M had assured him that this medication was different and explained how it works as B patiently listened.  Before he left the exam room, the Dr. turned back to B and said, "I'm really glad that you're feeling better and that Dr. Z said you're going to be alright. Take care."  B smiled and I could almost see another one of those giant weights falling off of his shoulders.

Last night, after I kissed B goodnight, he looked up at me and said, "Mommy, I feel really good about things right now.  Like things are really getting better.  I can't wait to take my pill tomorrow." And the he went back to reading his Calvin and Hobbes.

This morning B woke up, took his pill, and then set the timer on his watch for one hour, the approximate amount of time it takes for the meds to start taking effect.  And then, smiling, he left for school.  

I know today is going to be a good day.