The Lounge

The Lounge tag:www.urbanmoms.ca,2009-04-01:/the_lounge//31 2012-01-30T15:56:22Z A place for mothers to contribute and share their stories. Movable Type Pro 4.37 Ways Your Moms Group Can Give Back To Your Community tag:www.urbanmoms.ca,2012:/the_lounge//31.11580 2012-01-30T15:36:45Z 2012-01-30T15:56:22Z

Member Contribution

Becoming a parent is such a beautiful gift. I welcomed my first child into the world in May of 2011 and it's been such a wonderful experience. A friend and I started a moms group in our area a few months ago and we're having a really fun time with it. I plan special guest demonstrations/speakers for baby-friendly activities and we celebrate holidays with special parties for our little ones. It has been a lot of fun and I would highly recommend joining a group for any moms who haven't yet done so.

I feel so blessed to have my son and my supportive family and friends. It's very heartbreaking to hear of people who are struggling with issues such as health, finances, and support. I hear stories of babies born with health concerns that require them to stay in NICU, children without enough food to eat, children without winter clothes to stay warm and parents who want only the best for their children but struggle to provide this without support. This started me thinking about how I can help and how I can inspire others. I've heard the saying "strength in numbers" and I know I have a group of wonderful women in my moms group who would also like to help. I've started to think of ways that we can give back to our community through our group and our play dates. I hope this list inspires other moms to enlist the help of moms in their groups. No matter how big or small the gesture is, all support is appreciated by those in need.

1) Craft or Home Business Sales: Many stay at home moms have home businesses. Some sell a product as part of a franchise and some sell personalized items they create. Perhaps you have a few excellent cooks in your group that would like to do some baking or make-ahead meals to sell. Ask the moms in your group if anyone has a product for sale that they'd like to display for the other moms in your group. You can choose a day for the sale and have each mom contribute a small fee (for a charity of chosen by your group) for setting up a table at the sale. All of the moms could attend and browse through the various products. This is an excellent way to help the moms in the group advertise their products and a way to collect donations for a charity in your community. If you are looking for more space and want to open up the sale to family and friends of the moms group, check with a community centre in your area and ask if they'd be interested in donating a room for a few hours. Many community centres would be happy to help if they know the money collected is going to a good cause.

2) Donations & Raffle Tickets: Last Christmas, while planning our holiday party, I thought it may be a fun idea to raffle prizes for the moms. I contacted various companies around the city to let them know about our moms group and asked if they'd be willing to donate a prize. I let them know that all money raised would be going to a charity in our community. I was surprised by how quickly companies stepped forward to offer wonderful prizes such as spa gift certificates, spa gift bags, bakery certificates, movie passes and many other wonderful prizes. At our moms group holiday party, we sold tickets for $1 each and the moms could decide which prizes they wanted to enter to win. We had a lot of fun plus we raised money to donate to a charity. If you didn't want to collect money at the party, there are many other ideas for "selling" raffle tickets such as: each item brought for the food bank equals one ticket or each piece of used clothing brought as a donation equals one ticket. Many new moms receive formula samples in the mail and for moms who choose to breastfeed exclusively, this would be a wonderful donation to the food bank.

You don't have to wait for a special holiday like Christmas to hold this type of party. Use your creativity for party ideas such as a pink tea party to raise money for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation.

3) Sponsoring a Local Child: No one wants their child to get sick, especially not a life-threatening illness. Someone in your group may know of a child or family that could use some extra support. This could be something like preparing meals to deliver to the family, sending care packages to deliver to the child, or raising money to go towards something special for the child. You could work with an organization that specializes in fundraising efforts like this or maybe you want set this up on your own as a group. Perhaps you'd like to include other mom's groups in your province and set a challenge for the most unique ways to raise money to fund a wish. Ideas could include a community garage sale, bake sale, BBQ, recipe book, steak night, mom's night out, etc. If your moms group has a website or an online group, you could keep people updated with progress towards your goal. Together you can make a wish come true for a deserving child.

4) Blood Donations: Approximately every minute of every day, someone in Canada needs blood. You, or another mom in your group, may have a friend or family member who has needed blood or blood products for a medical treatment. You may want to donate but hesitate because of needing someone to watch your child while you do the donation. If there are other moms in your group that would like to donate blood, you can contact your local Canadian Blood Services office and ask to set up a group donation along with the use of a room for a play date. The moms in the group could take care of each other's children while each person donated. To find out if you are eligible to donate blood, contact Canadian Blood Services.
As individuals and as a group, we can make a difference. There are many individuals and organizations that could benefit by the support of your moms group. I hope you feel inspired to bring your group together for a good cause. I'd love to hear your stories about how your moms group is giving back to your community.

About the Author: Cheryl is a married mother of one little boy. She is a certified Project Management Professional with a passion for event planning. She's recently started a blog at Mom & Munchkins with tips on how to start a moms group in your own area along with ideas for group play date activities.

]]> Don't try to Bully me tag:www.urbanmoms.ca,2012:/the_lounge//31.11549 2012-01-24T16:20:50Z 2012-01-24T15:36:07Z

Four eyes! Fatso! Thunder Thighs! Giraffe! SLUT!!What do you think about these words? Did they affect you when you read them? Did you wince? I did. And, I heard them over and over all through my young life. These words,...

Member Contribution
What do you think about these words? Did they affect you when you read them? Did you wince? I did. And, I heard them over and over all through my young life. These words, these epithets, are what I grew up hearing. They are the curses that slapped me and the designations that defiled me. You see, I was the kid with the coke-bottle glasses. You remember me, the girl whose eyes looked like saucers behind the often scratched and eternally smudged lenses.

Sports were my nemesis. I was victim of my inability to see beyond the periphery of my frames, the world blurry all around but hyper focused straight in front...laser focus on the kids taunting me with vicious words outlining how I was inferior to them. "Four Eyes!" may as well have been; "You are less than me because my body does what it's supposed to do and yours doesn't. You are defective". I was also never a skinny kid. Not that I was legitimately fat, but I had some meat on my bones. Looking back at pictures of myself I can see that I didn't deserve the 'fatso' moniker, but I didn't have control over what people said to me, I merely had to deal with it. Things got worse around puberty when I started to develop womanly curves. Image the impact of being called out for having "thunder thighs" at the age of 14. Later on, I started to grow tall. I lengthened. My limbs elongated and my neck stretched. By the age of 15 I'd reached 5'8" and finally quit growing at just shy of 5'10". Long limbs and a long neck will earn you the nickname of 'Giraffe', or didn't you know? Giraffes aren't cute and cuddly like kittens or puppies, they're freaks. At least, that's what I thought. But, that wasn't the best of it. Nope. The kids I grew up with, cruel and heartless, had something worse in mind for me. The worst curse you could possibly throw at a young girl: Slut. I'll admit that I tended to be flirtatious. What those kids didn't know, and what I didn't yet understand, was that my petite coquette act was a text book symptom of someone who'd been sexually molested as a child.

Now, I can see you sitting there; wallowing in pity for me and thinking of
how pathetic I sound. Wanna know the kicker? I didn't let this get me. I didn't let this define me. I didn't let this become me. I didn't let this end me. Ever.

For the kids calling me 'four eyes' I, without fail, countered with a succinct, "Four eyes are better than two". When that girl, on class picture day, asked me to scrunch down a bit so she could be the tallest I said I would, but then, right before the click of the camera, I stood up as tall as possible. And those kids in High School who called me a slut, and started the rumour that I was pregnant? Well, one day I sat smack dab in the middle of the cafeteria and scarfed down a huge bowl of ice-cream and pickles for all to see. "Let them think I'm pregnant," I said to myself, "I know I'm still a virgin."

Life is funny in its propensity to deliver sweet irony and delicious Karma, and when I look back on everything now I can't help but to chuckle. As the old adage goes, "Living well is the best revenge". I graduated early from High School so my family could move to Florida where I was soon scouted by Ford Models. The next 12 years of my life were spent living in New York City, flying around the world for work, and hanging out with the rich, famous, and fabulous. No one called me 'four eyes', or 'fatso', or 'thunder thighs', or 'giraffe' (in fact, being a giraffe in that career is a plus!), or 'slut'. I was just me. Just Sue.

Now I'm living in North Carolina with an incredible husband who spoils me and my two young children who gift me each day with a life full of love and laughter.

And, this is really the point, this is what I wish for every child to ingest and internalize, this is what I want everyone to try and teach their children: Bullies only have the power you give them. You have to believe they're right for their accusations and verbal assaults to have impact. What's more? After High School you become free. Your life becomes completely your own to do with what you will. You have the ability and opportunity to blossom and truly grow...far away from the toxicity of bullies.

I don't spend a second of my day thinking about what the kids of my past said about me and to me. I understand that it really had nothing to do with me, but was them looking for a weakness, looking for something to make them feel better about themselves, or just indulging their innate meanness. Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter. *It. Wasn't. About. Me.*

I implore you to do whatever you can to build your children to be strong and to know themselves...to love themselves, no matter what. This will help them from becoming victims of bullying and, possibly, prevent them from becoming bullies themselves. With all the stories we read about tragedies related to bullying, we, as parents, really have no choice. Teaching our children to be strong within themselves is a life skill, one that's just as important as teaching them to read, write, and tie their shoes.

]]> Life Beyond Cancer: Finding Hope tag:www.urbanmoms.ca,2011:/the_lounge//31.11205 2011-11-14T08:10:57Z 2011-11-12T21:01:38Z

By: Heather Von St. James"You have a tumor."   Dr. Flink clutched my hands, saying it in a way that immediately led me to believe that this was far more serious than I had thought. I could feel in his gaze...

Carol
"You have a tumor."

  Dr. Flink clutched my hands, saying it in a way that immediately led me to believe that this was far more serious than I had thought. I could feel in his gaze that this one was truly bad. As I tried to process his words, my mind was consumed with thoughts of my newborn daughter, Lily. Would she grow up without a mother?   

The cancer I had is called mesothelioma, a malignant cell mass that develops in the lining of the lungs. Because it's usually reached an advanced stage by the time it's detected, it's considered terminal at the time of diagnosis. My mind reeled. I was 36 years old, a new mother, and now a cancer patient diagnosed with an incurable disease.

  The doctor offered me three treatment options. The first was to not have any treatment. With a projected life expectancy of just 15 months, that was not an option. Our second was to pursue treatment at the University of Minnesota or The Mayo Clinic. While these facilities are certainly renowned for their treatment of many conditions, mesothelioma was not one of them. With radiation and chemo, I might live for 5 years.  

 My best option was a radical one, because the mesothelioma life expectancy is so short. I was to go see Dr. David Sugarbaker at the Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston. He performs a risky procedure called an extrapleural pneumonectomy. It involves the removal of tumor itself, the entire affected lung, a portion of the diaphragm, and the membranous lining of the lungs and heart. If I was a candidate for surgery, my survival could be 10 years or more. My husband immediately responded, "Get us to Boston."

I could not have asked for a better support system throughout this whole ordeal. My friends and family were more than accommodating to me and willing to do whatever it took to get me through. One of the hardest parts was sending my daughter Lily to live with my parents for a whole month while I underwent treatment. Sending Lily away was such a difficult thing to deal with as a mother, but it also was one of the biggest reasons for me to fight for my life. I needed to get home to my daughter. I needed to be there for her and to watch her grow.   

On February 2nd, 2006 I underwent extrapleural pneumonectomy. A day known to many as Groundhog Day is now affectionately known in our household as "LungLeavingDay."

Six years later, LungLeavingDay is still recognized in our house. Every year, on the first Saturday in February, we celebrate life by writing our fears down on plates before throwing them into a fire. This has become a huge tradition among my family and friends. It is now a celebration of gigantic proportions, usually with over 70 people attending. LungLeavingDay is not only a celebration of my triumphs; but is a way for all my friends and family to celebrate their happiness and do away with their fears. It's just one of the many ways that my battle with mesothelioma has helped me to change my outlook on life and to help others by inspiring them.

By telling my story, I want to offer hope to those diagnosed with this difficult disease. Too often, those diagnosed with a terminal illness just give up. After one look into my 3-month old daughters eyes, I knew that was never an option.     

Heather Von St James is a guest blogger for the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance. Heather was diagnosed with Mesothelioma just 3 1/2 months after her first and only child was born. She hopes to share her story as a means of inspiration to other mothers who may be going through similar situations to what she went through. With her love for her family and her faith, she beat the disease and is now living happily, cherishing every moment with her now six-year-old daughter. You can read Heather's full story at the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance Blog.

]]> What's My Representation? tag:www.urbanmoms.ca,2011:/the_lounge//31.11102 2011-10-26T15:01:35Z 2011-10-26T15:20:46Z

I am a blogger and I love it. I consider it a vocation and it is almost (but not quite) the best vocation I have ever had. There is only one job I have held that is better than blogging,...

Carol

I am a blogger and I love it. I consider it a vocation and it is almost (but not quite) the best vocation I have ever had. There is only one job I have held that is better than blogging, and that is being a mother. And when push comes to shove, I will always be a mother first and a blogger second.

Recently I attended BlissDom Canada in Toronto and while I was there, I got the chance to attend a screening of the fabulous documentary Miss Representation courtesy of UrbanMoms. I must confess, I am a big fan of documentaries and I eagerly signed up to attend the screening. I expected a thought-provoking film and great dialogue afterwards. I was definitely not disappointed in either regard.

The film discussed the way that women are sexualized and stereotyped by television and the media, and looked at the detrimental effect that this portrayal has on both young women and young men over time. It was fascinating and my mind was whirling afterwards.

The thing is, two separate parts of me reacted to the film. It spoke to me as a blogger, but it also spoke to me as a woman and mother. And as I mentioned, the mother in me will always be the first to react.

The mother in me was concerned about my son growing up with a skewed view of women as a result of years of conditioning. The mother in me also knew that the best defence against that threat was being an active and positive influence in his life, both by controlling the amount of exposure he received and by ensuring that I was presenting a good example for him in the way I presented myself and the way I spoke to and about other women.

The mother in me was scared for the little girls of this generation that were already being conditioned to sit around looking pretty and waiting for a handsome prince to arrive and take care of them forever. The "princess mentality" is cute when a child is four. But what about when that child becomes a teenager? Low self-esteem is a huge problem for teenage girls today and it breaks my heart to see how many of them think that their worth is based solely on the way that they look.

The mother in me kept my mind busy for hours after the film as I talked with other mothers, considered some of the movie's key points and pondered possible courses of action that I could take to make a difference. But finally there came a time when the mother in me knew she had said enough and when that happened, I was finally able to look at the film not just as a woman, but as a blogger.

The blogger in me may be quiet during times like these but she isn't idle. She is mulling things over, biding her time. And when she gets the chance, she speaks her message loud and clear. And this is what the message was:

WE can create the new perceptions of women and men. WE already do. Every time we write a post about a woman's intelligence or accomplishments. Every time we express self-love or love for others that isn't based on appearance. Every time we write ANYTHING, we send our own message and our own perceptions out into the world. And as so many brands and companies are realizing, we are an incredibly powerful force.

But here's the catch. WE don't have nearly so much impact if we all have a different message. And it can be easy to support the stereotypes without even realizing it sometimes. Every time we sit down to write, we need to think about the perceptions that we are creating with our words so that we can be sure the message we're sending to the world is one that we truly believe. We need to work as a team, to some extent. Yes, we all have our own thoughts and opinions, but we also have many things in common that can help bring us together. For example, I know every mom blogger I've ever met wants the very best life for her children. That's something that we all care about.

In the end, it came down to awareness for me. Awareness that every time I speak, whether I'm doing so in real life or on my website, I'm sending a message. And I want that message to be one that will help make the world a better place for my children. Miss Representation gave me that awareness. And together with my fellow bloggers, we can use that awareness to make the entire world aware of a new generation of men and women...men and women whose worth comes from within.

Kathryn Lavallee is a freelance writer and mother of two energetic young boys with a talent for trouble. She loves good wine, organic chocolate and exchanging opinions about everything from politics to pizza. When she isn't outdoors with her children exploring the Saskatchewan wilderness, she can be found blogging at Mommy Kat and Kids .
]]> The Giant Party Cookie tag:www.urbanmoms.ca,2011:/the_lounge//31.10756 2011-10-16T14:35:29Z 2011-10-17T01:11:31Z

Carol
The giant party cookie is the great solution I came up with to avoid gaining those extra pounds. My kids love soft baked cookies and so do their friends. So each year I bake up this delicious cookie. It's really a fun project, simple to do, and easy on the pocket book! Give it a try your kids will love it too!

The Giant Party Cookie

Ingredients
3/4 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1 cup softened butter
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 eggs
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 1/4 cups chocolate chips

1. In a large bowl cream together butter, granulated sugar, and brown sugar. Add the vanilla then incorporate one egg at a time, beating well, until light and fluffy.

2. In a small bowl mix flour, salt and baking soda.

3. Stir flour mixture into butter mixture until combined. Next add chocolate chips.

4. To prepare your 14 inch pizza pan, cut out a 14 inch parchment circle to prevent the cookie from sticking.

5. Spread the cookie dough evenly on the pizza pan leaving a 1 inch border.

6. Bake at 375 degrees F for 20 minutes.

7. Cool cookie in the pan. Decorate cookie with your favourite icing and candies.

Here are some of the cookies I've made:

]]> Chocolate Brownie Turkey Cookies tag:www.urbanmoms.ca,2011:/the_lounge//31.10895 2011-10-06T20:59:40Z 2011-10-06T22:51:08Z

Member
Monday is Canadian Thanksgiving and that means I am "Talkin' Turkey". Nice thing about these turkeys is that all the fixins are included and there is no fear that they will be dried out because I used my chocolate brownie cookie recipe.

Materials Needed for Decorating:

Candy caramel corn - I used the Thanksgiving colours that you can sometimes find but if not the Halloween one will look just as cute
Small heart sprinkles
Candy eyes
Tweezers
Melted chocolate in a squeeze bottle if you want royal icing will also work
Royal icing - orange and white -- as always I stress how much I like Ateco meringue powder because it takes like marshmallows
Round cookie cutter - any size will work the one I used was about 3" around

Instructions and Tips:

Roll out the dough and bake according to the recipe.

I actually sorta placed everything around the cookie to see how it would look before I stuck everything on - just as practice.

Melt the chocolate in a double boiler and pour into squeeze bottle OR melt right in the bottle.

Squeeze a line of melted chocolate (or royal icing) and place caramel corns across the top to form the tail feathers. Let dry (I actually put in the fridge for a few minutes).

Add the eyes with white royal icing.

Draw an orange triangle for the beak and place the heart sprinkle for the wattle - that thing that hangs down under the beak - who knew it was called a wattle? My sister-in-law that is who knew because I did not know and called her for vocabulary help (THANKS Jill).

Draw the legs.

If you take time to make these let me know how they turned out.

Happy Thanksgiving!

To learn more about Shelly Shapero visit her blogs at Flour Child or follow her on Facebook. From the time that Shelly got her turquoise Easy Bake Oven, she loved baking and sharing with friends, family and new or budding acquaintances. Flour Child let Shelly share her ideas with you!

]]> Shana Tova tag:www.urbanmoms.ca,2011:/the_lounge//31.10860 2011-09-29T14:37:32Z 2011-09-29T17:34:17Z

Carol Rosh Hashanah is the first of the High Holidays celebrated ten days before Yom Kippur.

Last night on the eve of Rosh Hashanah my extended family got together to celebrate. We began our meal with a few symbolic foods, honey and crown loaves of challah.

Apple slices dipped in honey represent our hope for a sweet new year. Challah, which is usually baked into braids, is shaped into a crown loaves of bread on Rosh Hashanah. The circular shape symbolizes the continuation of life and God is referred to as royalty several times throughout the holidays.

Our family also serves many other traditional foods at this time of year. Take a look through the photo album to check out a few of my favourites.

Shana Tova! Wishing you and your family the best for a happy, healthy and fulfilling year.
]]> Homemade Granola Bars tag:www.urbanmoms.ca,2011:/the_lounge//31.10793 2011-09-18T14:25:24Z 2011-09-23T02:31:58Z

Carol
This recipe is very versatile so feel free to make substitutions. My preference is to double up the raisins and omit the chocolate chips. I'm sure many of you out there are cringing right now. Over the years I was surprised to discovered that many people have a great dislike of raisins. Children often fall into this group. So if this is true for your kids make their granola bars chocolate chips only. There are also many ways to increase the healthiness of these granola bars. Consider replacing the all-purpose flour with whole wheat, and substituting half the oil for applesauce.

These bars are sure to please so try them soon!

Ingredients

2 cups rolled oats
3/4 cup all purpose flour
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 cup wheat germ
2 eggs
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup honey
2 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup raisins (optional)
1/4 cup chocolate chips

Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit in a 9x13 pan.

1. In a large bowl mix the dry ingredients together - oats, flour, salt, brown sugar, cinnamon, and wheat germ.
2. In a small bowl mix the wet ingredients - oil, honey, eggs, and vanilla.
3. Add the wet ingredients to the dry mixture. Mix until well combined.
4. Add the raisin and chocolate chips. If you are not using the raisins increase the chocolate chips to 3/4 cups.
5. Press mixture into a 9x13 pan lined with parchment paper. The mixture will only fill 3/4 of the pan.
6. Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 20 minutes.
7. Cut into bars while still warm.

]]> A Parenting Dilemma: Please Help! tag:www.urbanmoms.ca,2011:/the_lounge//31.10763 2011-09-12T19:37:47Z 2011-09-13T00:18:29Z

Carol

When I was 12 years old, I remember sneaking chicken wings into my room as a midnight snack. I remember hanging out in the den watching memorizing Pretty Woman when I should have been doing math homework. I remember calling a "cute" boy and hanging up when his mom answered. Repeatedly. These are things I never told my mom and yet, even without her guidance and insights, I managed to survive my antics.

Fast forward 25 years and my almost 12-year-old son is following closely in my footsteps, telling me about the chocolate-marshmallow concoctions he made himself after we all went to sleep, the (harmless) prank calls he and his friends made while waiting for the bus, and more information than I want to know about what 12-year-old boys talk about in their cabin late at night.

Trust me when I tell you that you don't want to know what 12-year-old boys talk about in their cabin late at night.

This is where my parenting dilemma of the week comes in: on one hand, I am happy and consider myself lucky that B still feels comfortable talking to me about all this stuff. On the other hand? I don't want to hear it. For a couple reasons. First of all, when its stuff like prank calls and unhealthy snacks, the grown-up mom in me feels the need to scold him so he learns the difference between right and wrong. Second, I didn't grow up with brothers and was really shy around boys and when it comes to all the boy/girl/puberty stuff, I'm afraid of giving the wrong advice. Finally, sometimes it just feels creepy to hear all this stuff.

So what do I do? Do I explain to B that there are just some things you don't tell your mom or do I bite my lip, cringe, and just listen as long as he keeps talking?

Cayla vents muses about her life on her blog, Running, Recipes, and Reading, an integral part of helping her center her life and find the beauty in humanity. Follow her on twitter: @runreadrecipe.
]]> 5 Ways to Ensure a Successful Start to the School Year! tag:www.urbanmoms.ca,2011:/the_lounge//31.10699 2011-08-31T17:15:08Z 2011-08-31T18:46:37Z

Carol Running, Recipes, and Reading

You know what I think of when I think of the first day of school? It's the optimistic odour of freshly sharpened pencils.

Sharpened pencils standing at attention in recycled jars, along with chairs tucked under child-sized desks, and a chalkboard that says, "Welcome" in perfect cursive.

As a teacher, there really is nothing more exciting than the first day of school. I truly get butterflies in my stomach as I wait for my new students to shyly show up in my classroom. But the only reason I am able to be so excited and optimistic is because of the planning and routines I put in place for myself in the weeks leading up to school. Without this preparation, I am certain that I would be just as anxious as you may be feeling right now.

The start of school is notoriously known as one of the most stressful days of the year, both for you and your child. Who will his teacher be? What if she hates her lunch? Where are we supposed to meet at the end of the day? Will she make it to the end of the day? By using just a bit of your beach time to plan for that first day and beyond, the transition back to school will not be that scary. There are always going to be unexpected surprises and stresses but the regular routines you establish at the beginning of the year will make those times more manageable. Here are the top 5 ways to ensure a successful start to the school year. This information is nothing groundbreaking, just tried and true wisdom that every teacher wants to make sure you know.

1. We can't wait for you to get here! But do you know where you are supposed to go? And when? Most schools will inform you of the first day instructions: where to go, what to bring, and when to be there. Some schools have staggered start time for different grades so if you have multiple children, you could be running quite the relay that day. There may also be separate entry and exit locations for different grades so make sure you are familiar with where you will be dropping off and picking up your child. If you do not have this information, visit the school prior to the first day.

2. Once you know what we've planned for our first day, plan yours. Do a couple of dry runs to figure out how long it takes to get ready in the morning and how long it takes to get to school. Many kids are anxious about being late and get stressed out when parents tell them to, "Hurry up!" Create a morning schedule and post it where your child is able to see it. Give 10 minute, then 5 minute, then 1 minute warnings when it is time to get going. And then get going! Give yourself plenty of time to get to school and calm any last minute jitters, such as where you will meet at the end of the day. If you child is allowed to go home alone, figure out when and how they will check-in with you.

3. Together, decide on clothing that is appropriate for school...well in advance of the first day. Your daughter may have lived in flip flops and short-shorts all summer long but they do not belong in gym class. And while your son may truly feel that wearing a Spiderman costume everyday gives him superpowers, he's going to have to rely on good old-fashioned brainpower to learn how to read. What I tell my class is that being a student is your first real job and like most jobs, in order to achieve success, you must dress for success. All schools have a dress code and despite what students believe, it's to protect, not punish them. We need you to work with us on this one.

4. Please, please, please get in the back in the habit of getting enough sleep each night and eating a nutritious breakfast every morning. I have found that being well-rested and well-fed affects a student's performance more than any other factors. I don't know how many times I've overheard a student bragging that she got to stay up late to __________ only to be dozing at her desk or go home sick just a little while later. As for breakfast, I know it sounds like a cliché, but it really is the most important meal of the day. Nine times out of ten, when I ask that lethargic, unmotivated, ill-tempered student if he ate breakfast, the answer is, "No." And at least once a week, I have a student ask if they can have one of my "emergency" granola bars. You can lead by example: in a survey done in the Netherlands, children were 78% more likely to eat breakfast if their parents did. So put down that coffee and paper and get cracking!

5. To make your afternoons run as fight-free as your mornings, have a plan in place for completing homework. Figure out what time and place works best for your child: my son likes to do his homework in the kitchen after school and my daughter likes to do it in her bedroom after dinner. Last year, I had one student who came in early every morning to complete his homework since he was more of a morning person and liked working in the quiet, empty classroom. Either way, a specific amount of time should be designated for schoolwork. Every day. There is always something that can be done, whether it's reading, doing an experiment that reinforces what he learned in science that day, or, the most dreaded task of all, cleaning out his school bag and binder. It doesn't have to be too long; a good rule is the grade times 10 minutes. Beginning as early as kindergarten, making homework a regular part of your day is an important routine to establish. She may not like it right now, but believe me, when the work start escalating in middle and high school, she'll be a lot more capable of taking it all in stride.

So that's it. Just a little bit of pre-planning and you, too, can have an optimistic, stress-free start to the school year. Sort of... The first day is going to be filled with excitement and anxiety no matter how much you prepare yourself and your child in advance. Even I have trouble sleeping the night before and can't decide what to wear. But with a little preplanning a lot of tissues (most likely for you), things will be just fine. I promise.

Cayla vents muses about her life on her blog, Running, Recipes, and Reading, an integral part of helping her center her life and find the beauty in humanity. Follow her on twitter: @runreadrecipe.
]]> A Back to School Must! tag:www.urbanmoms.ca,2011:/the_lounge//31.10691 2011-08-30T23:36:58Z 2011-08-31T00:10:56Z

Carol maijasmommymoments.com

The request was innocent enough - my asthmatic daughter had just started a new medication and I went to the daycare Director's office and asked to update her medical file.

I waited patiently as she dug through her filing cabinet and pulled out a red file folder of random papers of registration forms, accident reports and progress reports. The papers were in no particular order and it was because of this it took much longer than I had expected to locate my daughter's emergency form. She handed it to me along with a pen and told me to just write the name of the new medication on the bottom of the form.

My eyes went directly to the bottom of the form where I noted all but one of her current medications were listed. The one missing was the one she took in case of emergencies. When I mentioned it, the director said that perhaps there was a clerical error and asked me to write that one down as well.

Between the multitude of papers and the potential "clerical error" I became increasingly uncomfortable with how my daughter's information was being kept and immediately began to go line by line through the emergency form. My eyes widened when I stopped on the Emergency Contact Information section.

My cell phone number had a typo, my husband's cell phone number was missing and listed as alternative emergency contacts were STRANGERS.

My heart sunk. If my child needed me (if they could finally dig out the form) they couldn't actually locate me or anyone who could help because all of the contact information was wrong.

I took a deep breath and asked "where is the form I filled out when we registered?" The director informed me that once the secretary had entered all of the information into their own forms they discarded the original ones.

Again, another deep breath before I asked "if you ever had to call 911 what information would you give to the paramedics?"

The director looked at me blankly and said "well that form of course".

And right there, no deep breath could prevent me from saying "you mean the one that took you five minutes to dig out, without a full listing of my child's medications AND STRANGERS listed as emergency contacts?!?"

Needless to say the conversation went downhill from there.

With just a few additional questions it became apparent that there was no emergency plan, that my child's in-class daycare providers were under the impression they couldn't call 911 without Director approval and that our contact information may not be the only one that "could" be wrong.

How many of us fill out a stack of school forms at the beginning of the year and then forget about them?

How many of us have children in daycares and pre-schools for two or three years and do not review the forms we filled out when we registered them?

How many of us know how easy a typo can be made?

To avoid any delays in contacting you in case of emergency, while you're preparing for back-to-school make a point of connecting with your school or daycare to check your child's emergency contact information and any other information you feel it is important your school or daycare have about your child.

Since that day at my daughter's former daycare I make a point of doing it every year.

Maija is a working mother of 3 + 1 (the +1 being her teenage sister and NOT her husband). She is the proud wife of a police officer for the last *gasp* nine years and regularly relies on drive-thru dinners on ballet nights. You can find Maija and all her mayhem at maijasmommymoments.com , facebook.com/MommyMoments or twitter.com/MommyMoments .

]]> Chocolate Fondue tag:www.urbanmoms.ca,2011:/the_lounge//31.10682 2011-08-29T21:53:29Z 2011-08-29T23:37:50Z

Carol
First you need to decide whether you prefer semi-sweet or milk chocolate, or even better, do what I did, and make both. For all you milk chocolate lovers I want you to give the semi-sweet chocolate a try. Its bitterness is a great contrast to the sweetness of fruit and other foods that you pair with the fondue. I do recommend using a high quality chocolate. I'm lucky enough to live close to a bulk food store that sells Callebaut chocolate. The slab that I purchased cost $6.50. I used Dairy Milk chocolate for the milk chocolate version.

Making chocolate fondue is simple, just follow these simple steps:
One note of caution, chocolate burns very easily. As you all know chocolate melts at the temperature of our bodies (that's why M&M's are coated so they melt in our mouth not our hands).

1. Chop your chocolate into pieces
2. Place pieces in a double boiler, or mini crock pot (see photo below)
3. Stir the chocolate as it melts. It's a slow and gentle process. Do not rush it!
4. Select a variety of foods to dip into the chocolate.
5. Use long wooden skewers to dip your favourite foods into the melted chocolate.

To make your own double boiler take a small sauce pan and fill 1/4 full with water. Simmer water DO NOT BOIL. Place a large glass bowl or metal bowl and sit on top of simmering water. You do not want the water simmering below to get into the chocolate or it will seize (clump together) and be ruined.

Turn off the heat on the element after melting the chocolate but leave the bowl sitting on top of the saucepan. This will keep the chocolate at the perfect melted consistency. If using a crock pot keep it plugged in.

Food to Dip:
strawberries, bananas, brownies ,marshmallows, pretzels, dried fruit (apricots, banana chips, apple ring) licorice

]]> Ultimate Skor Brownie Trifle tag:www.urbanmoms.ca,2011:/the_lounge//31.10509 2011-07-22T14:48:25Z 2011-07-22T15:15:33Z

Carol semi-homemade.

I absolutely love this recipe because it combines my two loves, skor chocolate and brownies. Biting into this dessert is pure heaven, you must give it a try.

Ingredients
1-2 boxes of brownie mix (prepared according to directions)
1 box of Dr. Oetker Shirriff chocolate mousse (prepared according to the directions)
1 container of cool whip
5 Skor chocolate bars (crushed into relatively large chunks)

Bake the brownies according to the directions on the box (or use your favourite recipe) and let cool.

Prepare the mouse according to the directions.

To assemble use a trifle bowl or your favourite glass serving piece. Depending on the size of your bowl you will need to use either 1 or 2 boxes of brownies. Cut brownies into pieces and line the bottom of the bowl. Cover the brownies with half of the mouse, and then cover this layer with half of the cool whip. Next, sprinkle half of the broken Skor pieces. Then repeat all layers.

Refrigerate 8 hours before serving. Also great served frozen. Simply take out of the freezer 1 hour before serving.

Enjoy!
]]> Simply Delicious Blueberry Cake tag:www.urbanmoms.ca,2011:/the_lounge//31.10411 2011-07-05T21:16:39Z 2011-07-06T02:02:34Z

Mix these dry ingredients together in a large bowl3/4 cup brown sugar1/4 cup white sugar1 3/4 cup flour2 tsp baking powderMake a well in the centre of the dry ingredients and add the following:2 eggs1/2 cup oil1/2 cup orange juice1...

Carol

Mix these dry ingredients together in a large bowl
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup white sugar
1 3/4 cup flour
2 tsp baking powder

Make a well in the centre of the dry ingredients and add the following:
2 eggs
1/2 cup oil
1/2 cup orange juice
1 tsp vanilla

Gently incorporate the berries
2 cups blueberries (fresh or frozen)
* Note if you use frozen blueberries your batter will turn grey, but will remain delicious.

Top with
3 tbsp brown sugar mixed with 1 tsp cinnamon

Spray an 8x8 square pan. Pour in the batter. Sprinkle the brown sugar cinnamon mixture over the cake.

Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 40-45 minutes.

I love adding apples sprinkled with cinnamon to the batter and transforming the recipe into an apple blueberry cake. This cake is so versatile so go ahead and add your favourite fruit to the batter.
]]> Ontario Grilled Peach Salad tag:www.urbanmoms.ca,2011:/the_lounge//31.10404 2011-07-04T01:07:23Z 2011-07-04T01:32:42Z

Carol

While this recipe has many steps and lots of ingredients it was really fun to make with my husband. We don't often cook together as he feels out of his element in the kitchen. The great thing about this recipe is that it also takes you outside of the kitchen and to the BBQ. My husband was really intrigued by the notion of grilling fruit. He even threw some pineapple on the grill to see how that would work out. We weren't disappointed it was super delicious and definitely worth making again. So if you have a bit of time to put this salad together and are looking to share a cooking experience with your husband this may be the recipe for you.

Recipe from the LCBO June 19 - July 16 All-Canadian Summer starts here issue.

2 cups orzo cooked, drained and cooled
4 - 6 fresh peaches, halved with pits removed
1/2 medium red onion, diced
1/2 red pepper finely diced
4 - 6 ounces feta cheese, crumbled
4 cups baby arugula (I used a mixture of arugula and spinach)

Preheat grill to 350 degrees. Brush peach halves with oil and grill skin side up for 3-5 minutes. Remove from the grill and cut into bite sized chunks.

Honey Dijon Dressing
2 cloves fresh garlic, grated and chopped
1 tbsp liquid honey
1 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp pepper
1/4 cider vinegar
1 tbsp chopped fresh dill
1 tbsp chopped fresh mint
1 cup olive oil (I used 1/2 a cup of olive oil)

Combine all ingredients, except extra virgin olive oil, in a jar with a tight fitting lid. Shake vigorously then add oil in two batches, shaking vigorously each time.

Salad Assembly
Put all ingredients in a large bowl except dressing. Gently combine, add dressing 1/3 of a cup at at time and serve (I used half the dressing, and 1/2 the orzo).

I served grilled shrimp with the salad.

Enjoy!
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