Canadian Moms' Community Blog and Resource

'Tis the Season!

Believe it or not it is that time of year again!  It seems like just the other day we were overwhelmed by back to school and now here we are preparing for another holiday season.  I don't know about you but this is one of my favourite times of the year - the winter wonderland, the excitement of the holidays and spending time with loved ones.  However, it can also be very stressful - the winter wonderland, the excitement of the holidays and spending time with loved ones!

So, what is it about this season that gets you in the spirit?  Take our poll and see what gets urban moms across Canada feeling festive.

Remembering Madeleine

To watch your child, a young and vital woman and mother of two beautiful children, suffer and die.  And now, to hold her children close so you can be nearer to her and can honour her memory and can love them like she would.  To watch your little sister, your childhood playmate and sometimes reluctant companion, pass away along with the adult friendship you were both counting on.  To nurse and care for someone you love, to be the bearer of tragic news, to helplessly comfort them as they die, and return to that place to help others each day with her memory in your heart. To watch your family member, your friend, another mother, say good-bye to her children knowing the depth of her despair and loss.  To realize the gift of your own children and take the lessons of her death to heart.  This has been the journey of the last year for many who knew and loved Madeleine. 

November 23rd will mark one year since we lost Maddy. She was 31 years old. She was a daughter, a sister, a friend and a mother to 1 year old Ella and 3 year old Matthew when she passed away from cancer.   Her death was not only tragic but life altering for many who knew her.  I wanted to honour her on urbanmoms.ca and remind myself and all of our members to be thankful for the gift of time, to remember every day how lucky we are to have the chance to watch our children grow.

Madeleine's death changed my life.  Not only had I known her my whole life but I saw myself in her.  I was a mom of two young kids and it made me realize that the choices I made were with me forever, however long or short that may be.  What was amazing during all of this was the outpouring of support from family, friends, and often strangers.  Her story shook people, especially other moms.  That was the inspiration for this community, urbanmoms.ca.  We are about support, respect, and learning.  Let's not let one precious day pass by that we don't appreciate and learn from each other.

In honour of Maddy I have included below the memorial collages her family has lovingly created for Matthew and Ella.  They hang in the children's bedrooms so that they will always have their mom close.  It is hard to believe a year has gone by.  I know Maddy is greatly missed by all who knew her.

Maddy and Matthew                                                                                              Maddy and Ella

Permission to Behave Badly - The Risk of Anonymity Online

I have worked for many years as a marketer in the online world.  However, I have never had the time to fully explore the variety of online forums and message boards that exist in cyberspace.  I have "lurked" when searching for specific information but never spent a significant amount of time in one place, that was until I created urbanmoms.ca.  I really enjoy our forum as well as the comments and email suggestions I get from the members and visitors to the site, so I thought I would venture out and explore what the rest of the web had to offer. 

I was shocked by some of what I saw and happened upon some extremely hostile environments. Without going into the gory details, I was ignorant to certain netiquette and my ignorance was quickly misinterpreted.  Before I knew it, I was banned from a forum.  What really amazed me was how quickly an innocent comment could turn the "community" goal of the forum inside out.  Often contributors use anonymity to give themselves permission to behave in a way that nobody would ever do in a face-to-face situation.  Instead of giving me the benefit of the doubt I was publicly shamed and then blocked from being able to defend myself. My quest for connection online had failed miserably.  This was not a place I wanted to have anything to do with.

I believe that the value of the internet is the variety and vastness of all it has to offer.  This is also its greatest challenge.  When urbanmoms.ca was created it was intended to be a community, in the true sense of the word.  It is a collective effort, a representation of all of its members and users and a voice created by urban moms, for urban moms.  Not only do we share stories and information but we recommend and partner with other resources that may be useful to our members.

At urbanmoms.ca the community works together to create a truly valuable resource and encourages and celebrates our individuality.  We do require that everyone communicate in a non-judgmental and respectful way.  I want a community that accepts me, warts and all.  A place where my choices are respected, my opinion valued, and my mistakes forgiven. 

After this experience I am more committed than ever to developing and maintaining an environment of trust and respect at urbanmoms.ca.  A place where urban moms (dads, grandmas, grandpas, etc.) can come and relax and feel accepted.  The choices we make are our own.  Most of the time they are well thought out and based on our personal values and circumstances.  My commitment to you is that we, at urbanmoms.ca, will do whatever we can to make you feel welcome in our community, to empower our members, and to consider the impact our words have on the people who exist on the other side of the screen.

Jen

What's Your Story?

At urbanmoms.ca we are moms too and we recognize how complex and multi-faceted the modern mom is.  We also know that once we become moms we don't magically conform to a one-dimensional world of motherhood.  Being a mom is a major part of our lives, but not the only part.  We are a diverse group of intelligent women.  So, why not share our knowledge?  Why not learn from each other?

Urbanmoms.ca is a collective effort.  All of the content is written by urban moms or those who have  expertise relevant to us.  Our mission is to create a virtual community of moms across Canada.  This is a place where we can come to share stories and information, hear about product recommendations from other urban moms, and learn from other women like us. 

If you are looking for a creative outlet or have a story to share, we would love to hear from you.  Over the next few months we will be dedicating The Lounge section of urbanmoms.ca to contributions from our members.  I am constantly amazed at what other urban moms have experienced or what they have been through.  Let's share this knowledge with each other!

If you have a story to share, please send it to me by email and I'll get in touch with you if your story is selected to be posted.  I have started things off by writing about The Cycle of Life - The Story of Meghan's Birth.  So, check it out and I hope you will contribute too!

Jen